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to not provide drinks for a 40th birthday party?

(49 Posts)
boogeek Thu 30-Oct-08 20:02:49

This is my first foray into AIBU - feeling very nervous...
DH's 40th in January: have hired the village hall and a ceilidh band, contacted lots of his old friends. Will provide a buffet. Maybe I am very mean but I don't really feel like providing all the alcohol for the evening - if we had a party at a hotel there would be a bar and people would buy their own drinks without question. So AIBU to put "bring your own booze" on the invitations?

ja9 Thu 30-Oct-08 20:03:59

you're being tight grin

just buy the wine!

MrsMattie Thu 30-Oct-08 20:04:08

Could you provide a first drink? Get a crate of cheap beers / wine and just provide everyone with a glass when they first arrive?

CatMandu Thu 30-Oct-08 20:04:22

Yep, I would never do this I think it's very naff to invite people to a party or a wedding and then expect them to buy their own booze.

flowerybeanbag Thu 30-Oct-08 20:05:12

YABU, sorry. It's one thing expecting people to buy drinks at a bar in a hotel, not the same expecting them to bring bottles of whatever they want to drink with them.

Personally, I think if you are hosting a party at a venue like that where there isn't a bar, and are providing food and entertainment, you should also provide drink.

Tommy Thu 30-Oct-08 20:05:57

nothing wrong with asking people to bring a bottle IMO but you must supply some booze to get things going - and soft drinks for the drivers

CatMandu Thu 30-Oct-08 20:06:08

Ah yes, that's true provide beer and wine and people pay for spirits if that's what they'd like.

AnarchyAunt Thu 30-Oct-08 20:07:55


If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Pretty much every social occasion we go to is 'bring a bottle' and it has never bothered me in the slightest. Why would it?

If you can, then get in some beers/wine to put out.

expatinscotland Thu 30-Oct-08 20:08:11


If you had the party at a hotel, you'd also be paying a lot more to hire it than a village hall.

AnarchyAunt Thu 30-Oct-08 20:08:29

Yes provide juice and lemonade.

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 30-Oct-08 20:08:32

What Tommy said.

Loshad Thu 30-Oct-08 20:09:26

YABU, particulalry as there is no bar for people to bring their own.You really do need to provide some wine/beer/soft drinks - if you can't do that then why have a party? you've gone for the village hall because it's cheaper, but the counter is you have (well nearly everyone will expect you to) provide the booze.

forevercleaningwithmybesoms Thu 30-Oct-08 20:09:56

i would recommend you have a good basic selection on drinks, but could also say bring a bottle on the invites. You will need mixers in anycase as not many people bring those when they bring spirits etc.

GrabShellDude Thu 30-Oct-08 20:14:06

YABU. It's a 40th birthday party in a village hall. Drinks provided is a must. Defintely a must. Absolutely. <falls over in alcholic fug>

slackrunner Thu 30-Oct-08 20:14:07

Agree with Tommy - I don't think you need to pay for people to get completely lashed up, but you do need to provide a minimum of 1/2 bottle of wine per head IMO.

squeakypop Thu 30-Oct-08 20:20:19

If it's a village hall, then BYOB is OK - but I would provide a welcome drink and/or toast - maybe mulled wine since it is almost in season.

I think people would know to bring a contribution anyway. I don't think I would go to a party at a house or hired hall empty-handed. You might even make a profit on it

AMumInScotland Thu 30-Oct-08 20:20:52

Can you get a caterer to do a pay-bar for you? We had one for the evening do at our wedding, though it was the same firm that did food earlier so I'm not sure if they charged for providing the bar or just did it for the profit on the sales.

boogeek Thu 30-Oct-08 20:34:56

OK - was intending to provide "first drinks" and some soft drinks, just wanted to get a feel for whether I had to provide all the booze (in which case given the price of the band, hall and food it's probably off). I am going to have to re-think. Ta for thoughts.

Waswondering Thu 30-Oct-08 20:36:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

boogeek Thu 30-Oct-08 20:38:12

LOL @ "anything not drunk". Our friends can drink grin.

traceybath Thu 30-Oct-08 20:42:42

Do think like the others you need to provide drink. If you order from somewhere like majestic they do let you return bottles you didn't drink and get a refund.

cthea Thu 30-Oct-08 20:46:24

YANBU. If your garden was big enough and if it wasn't January and you had a BBQ instead, people would be bringing their own booze and food.

pamelat Thu 30-Oct-08 20:57:31

I think its rude of the guests if they turn up without a bottle.

I think you could buy a few bottles in but nothing wrong in asking friends to bring a bottle.

DoubleToilandTroubleBluff Thu 30-Oct-08 21:01:04

YANBU - I wouldnt be offended if I was asked to bring a bottle.
If I got to a prty at someones house i would bring something don't see what the difference is

purpleduck Thu 30-Oct-08 21:21:50

We went to a 40th recently, it was in a hall attached to a pub though, and there was a pay bar there.


I Just had an idea!!!!
Why not get someone in to do the bar, but have any profit go to a charity?

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