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I'm not fond of performing oral sex on my husband, yet he demands it.

(198 Posts)
KrissyKat Tue 28-Oct-08 06:29:43

My husband whines and complains that he doesn't get nearly enough blow jobs in his life and may start to look elsewhere for them. Mind you, he has a tremendous penis and I am extremely petite. (100 pounds dripping wet) It is completely unenjoyable for me and he conks out straight afterward, with perhaps a cursory grunt and "thanks, doll." What is my incentive to perform this ritual? We've been married 13 years and he is not exactly Mr. Vavavavoom in bed, yet he expects all manner of carnal delights for himself. Has anyone else had this experience? Do your husbands think the porn world is real life and women are breathlessly waiting to please them in any manner possible?

Heaven forbid we just go to sleep or cuddle and I not attend to his stiff little friend. Criminey! I'm not 25 anymore. And he is not exactly captain America, all rippling muscles and thick bronze hair. I sometimes wish I had a stand-in. He's always threatening to leave and I sometimes think, well, just go then and find a young lady who ices her cupcakes and bread with semen. UGH!

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 06:32:27

Before I answer, welcome to Mumsnet...can I make sure you're not a journalist, bloke or hairy handed trucker?

Thankyou. grin

gingerninja Tue 28-Oct-08 06:34:34

I think you've answered your own question at the end. If he threatens to leave because you won't give him more blow jobs then let him. He sounds like a tremendous penis rather than a man that has one. hmm

gingerninja Tue 28-Oct-08 06:35:30

Was thinking the same FA. Odd post for 6.29 in the morning!

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 06:36:09

and I'm thinking you read the Times, too...

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 06:36:38

ginger - hi five smile

potatofactory Tue 28-Oct-08 06:51:57

Would somebody really bother to be a journalist starting fake threads? For a 'column'? seriously?

As my mother would say - LAZY!!


BandofMothers Tue 28-Oct-08 06:57:12

If you dont want to do it, say NO, very clearly, then say when he's finished giving you oral sex, you might consider giving him some, as you have needs too. Then see what he thinks.

potatofactory Tue 28-Oct-08 06:57:38

by the way - how can you tell if someone's new if they don't have a profile - and that they've never posted before? (I'm still trying to work out how to name change too blush)

BandofMothers Tue 28-Oct-08 07:03:37

Gosh can we get 10 posts in at least before people ask if she's for real?? If she was she may not come backhmm

Podrick Tue 28-Oct-08 07:11:37

Is there a machine you can get to do it?

shinyshoes Tue 28-Oct-08 07:21:01

Give him the hoover to play with grin

iMum Tue 28-Oct-08 07:25:49

I take it then matters have come to a head with dh.
sorry couldnt help myself.


gagarin Tue 28-Oct-08 07:26:39

Captain America? 100 pounds dripping wet?

Sounds like male porn-speak to me - from across the pond...???

foxytocin Tue 28-Oct-08 07:27:44

op reads like agony aunt to mills and boon.
a prossie may be your dh's answer

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 07:38:45

Look BoM if you enjoy this kind of thread then go for your life, girl...I've said my bit and I'll let you get on with it! smile

I don't have the power to end threads you know...nor would I want it. It's a first post, it's written in a very weird way and it's about somehting pretty un breakfast worthy imo.

But as I said, I'm done here and will let you indulge before I get torn to bits again for daring to suggest it's a troll.

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 07:39:49

...and where exactly is OP?

BandofMothers Tue 28-Oct-08 07:44:15

grin lol
I just thought it was a bit mean to leap on her straight away, and I think you may have scared her off, either that or you scared off the hairy trucker.wink

Flightattendant4 Tue 28-Oct-08 07:46:30

Hee hee

Sorry to get all defensive on ya

I got leapt on last week when it was that park thread, I am a wee bit sensitive atm grin

Sparkletastic Tue 28-Oct-08 07:48:53

criminey grin hmm

Podrick Tue 28-Oct-08 07:50:51

OP just reads like it is a bloke tbh

VintageGardenia Tue 28-Oct-08 07:52:15

Maybe he should stop calling you "doll"?

OrmIrian Tue 28-Oct-08 08:08:01

"doll" ? shock

Bugger! I'd bite it off.

filz Tue 28-Oct-08 08:12:28

all men are like this

lulumama Tue 28-Oct-08 08:12:41

what an odd post written in the manner of a breathless 1950s girl's magazine, 'tremendous penis', 'criminey', 'thanks doll'


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