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To get really angry when I see a pregnant women smoking!!!

(71 Posts)
memoo Mon 27-Oct-08 18:46:50

I really would have thought by now that women would have finally got the message that smoking when pregangt is really bad for baby.

We've just been away for a couple of nights and the women in the chalet next door was always on her veranda smoking, she looking about 8 months pregnant.

Maybe I'm a bit over sensitive but I really wanted to go up to her and slap her really hard. I found myself actually giving her a filthy look when she glanced over my way.

Having lost a baby through no fault over my own a few years ago I think its crazy that people would put smoking in front of the health of their babies!

I think women who choose to smoke when pregnant are extremely selfish and should be ashamed!

BTW, I was a smoker too until earlier this year so I do understand how addicitive it is but I always stopped when pregnant and have given up for good now as I don't want my DC to think its a good thing.

Tee2072 Mon 27-Oct-08 18:49:09

yes, it can make you angry. But really? Its none of your business. Its their body and their baby, if they want to smoke, that's there problem.

It makes me angry also. But I would never even give a pregnant smoking woman a filthy look. Its not my place to judge.

LolaTheShowgirl Mon 27-Oct-08 18:49:37

I agree with you 100%. I too find myself giving pregnant smokers dirty looks although they probably never do what they're intended!

MrsMattie Mon 27-Oct-08 18:49:48

Not angry, more sad.

misdee Mon 27-Oct-08 18:51:07

oh bugger off.

lljkk Mon 27-Oct-08 18:52:07

YABU, unless you want to get equally angry about a huge number of other things in the world. Don't we all do selfish things when pregnant, and as mothers? Or should we simply accept our lot as wombs first, and people second?

I get irate at many things, but I don't pretend they're all reasonable responses.

FAQ Mon 27-Oct-08 18:52:32

oh gawd - I guess we're about due one of these must have been.......oo what? 3/4 weeks since the last one??

nickytwoooohtimes Mon 27-Oct-08 18:53:03

I'm an ex-smoker.
I do find it sad when I see anyone smoking, but especially those who are pg or have kids around. I don't feel angry though, because I don't know how shit someone else's life is. When I smoked, it felt like it was all I had.

nickytwoooohtimes Mon 27-Oct-08 18:53:23

so yes, in short, yabu.

reikizen Mon 27-Oct-08 18:53:31

Well, it can be bad for the baby but it is not an absolute. There are worse things you can do to your children you know.

MrsMattie Mon 27-Oct-08 18:54:26


MN is a bit de ja vu at the moment, isn't it?

I feel an ear piercing debate coming on!

expatinscotland Mon 27-Oct-08 18:54:46


NotDoingTheHousework Mon 27-Oct-08 18:54:57

Message withdrawn

solidgoldskullonastick Mon 27-Oct-08 18:55:31

PLenty of smokers give birth to healthy babies. Just as some hopeless alcoholics give birth to healthy babies.
No matter how virtuous one is, or how much state-endorsed bullying and infantilising of women goes on, there is no guarantee of either a healthy baby or a damaged one.

Mind your own.

shouldIdoit Mon 27-Oct-08 18:57:19


memoo Mon 27-Oct-08 19:01:17

so i guess i'm being unreasonable them.

Like I said maybe I am oversensitive but after doing everything right and then still losing a baby I really get upset by women who seem not to care about the potential damage they are doing.

I know most smokers have healthy babies, as do some alchoholic but this isn't always the case. I do know of one women at my DC's school who's baby was born with Fetal alchol syndromme and it must be heart breaking for her to look at her child and know she caused that. Her first two DC were fine.

Is it really worth the risk?

expatinscotland Mon 27-Oct-08 19:03:23

it's not your call.

it's not your business.

if you are having issues regarding your own loss - many of us have lost a baby, myself included - then please see a counsellor.

MrsGhoulofGhostbourne Mon 27-Oct-08 19:04:42

YANBU - they are unbelievably selfish and irresponsible. feel desperatly sorry for the baby.

memoo Mon 27-Oct-08 19:04:59

so are you saying its acceptable to smoke when pregnant?

onager Mon 27-Oct-08 19:09:56

I can understand you feeling that way, Memoo. I think the point is that it doesn't have to be acceptable to you

Also that woman over there who isn't smoking maybe be taking drugs or driving fast or living in a house that's near the edge of a cliff or that is liable to be flooded next time we have a bad storm or with a partner who hits her or ...........

FAQ Mon 27-Oct-08 19:10:05

no we're saying YABU for being angry at them....

nickytwoooohtimes Mon 27-Oct-08 19:10:23

No one is saying it is acceptable to smoke while pg, but nor is it acceptable to condemn someone for smoking when you do not know what their life is like.

expatinscotland Mon 27-Oct-08 19:11:44

'so are you saying its acceptable to smoke when pregnant?'

did i write that? did anyone?


you asked if you were being unreasonable.

yes, you are.

memoo Mon 27-Oct-08 19:12:13

I do see your points, and you are right that I can't possibley know how hard someone else has it.

Still makes me sad though, guess its sad for the women too, I'm sure nobody can feel good about it

memoo Mon 27-Oct-08 19:13:34

expat, I never said you did write that, I just asked a question because I was trying to establish what part of my post people thought was unreasonable

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