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To be upset with my uncle!

(20 Posts)
Mum2OliverJames Sun 26-Oct-08 20:17:33

I hardly ever speak to my uncle, he is the 'black sheep of the family' basically when he was in his teens he got a drug problem, my nan and grandad have spent thousands of pounds sending him abroad to rehab clinics, he aparently now is off hard drugs and 'just' smokes canabis hmm

this isnt what i am annoyed about just giving the background

when my DS was born nearly 10 months ago i didnt get so much as a phone call or a card, i put this down to him being a bit low on cash maybe, no pressie, not a problem! everytime we went to my nan and grandads we would tell him we were going so he could come and meet my son, he lives a 2 minute walk away and could never be bothered because he is 'watching the football' or something equally as stupid

this even though it hurts is totally expected from him, he used to give us broken promises all the time when we were little and nearly always forgets birthdays

but on friday he had the cheek to ring me up, after not speaking for ages and the first thing that leaves his lips (beofre asking how me or DS are) is he wants a favour! i was completely stunned and agreed to do the favour (was buying him a local paper because he thought his friend would be in it)

we went to my nan and grandads and done the usual phone him up see if he wants to come over whilst we were there and to our suprise he said yes, we had to wait over an hour for him to get there and had to keep DS up in his naptime

he got there, only looked at DS twice, when i told him i hadnt brought the paper with me he was visably peed of at me, he then went on talking and pulled out 3 very new expensive all singing all dancing phones

AIBU to think that if he could have bought these expensive phone he could have at the very least got a cheap 99p card from the card factory (which i know there is one near him)

im not upset because he hasnt bought my DS any gift because we dont expect it, its the thought that counts and he just hasnt thought about him at all

would you be upset by this?

crankycrane Sun 26-Oct-08 20:21:08

he sounds very selfish to me imho

Ronaldinhio Sun 26-Oct-08 20:23:23

three very new all singing all dancing phones

is now a drug dealer

CarGirl Sun 26-Oct-08 20:23:47

I think long before I would have drawn the conclusion that he wasn't interested in me and not have bothered with the effort of contacting him etc?

QuintessentialShadows Sun 26-Oct-08 20:26:48

Not at all. It is your UNCLE. I find it odd you would even expect it. I find it even more strange that he rings you up, asks you to buy the paper, you make plans to meet him, and dont bring the paper? You expect too much. Sadly, while our children means the world to US, they dont to far off relatives such as uncles and aunts.

Mum2OliverJames Sun 26-Oct-08 20:31:32

QES - i didnt bring the paper because i didnt go to my nan and grandads from home, where the paper was.

i just really wanted to give him the chance to meet my DS because he had said so many times to my nan and grandad that its a shame that he always misses him hmm

Liffey Sun 26-Oct-08 20:33:18

I'm inclined to agree with QS. He's YOUR uncle not your brother right? so he's the baby's great uncle, he's probably seen a whole lot of babies coming into the World.

Obviously he's a fairly laid back individual, who doesn't feel obliged to write little notes and so on, but he felt comfortable enough to ring you up (in a world that revolves around text messages) to ask you to spend £1 on the local paper!

I would have just done it tbh. I don't expect people to gush over my children. They are just children iykwim. My parents and my siblings (to a lesser degree) are thrilled by the existence of my children. That's as much as I'd expect!

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 26-Oct-08 20:33:20

Message withdrawn

Crocodilius Sun 26-Oct-08 20:35:31

It sounds like it is not a great loss for your DS not to have this man in his life.

Agree the three phones suggest dodgy dealings.

lulumama Sun 26-Oct-08 20:37:05

if you hardly speak to him, thoroughly disapprove of him and think he is selfish, why do you
1) care if you see him or he sees your DS?


2) even answer the phone to him , never mind agree to do him favours??

YABU to be upset at a man you know to be self absorbed to be self absorbed

if he smokes cannabis a lot, i doubt he could be arsed to by the paper or a card or do anything like meeting your DS

move oN !

wannaBe Sun 26-Oct-08 20:39:33

I think people feel obliged to say how much they want to meet other peoples' children even if they don't actually feel they want to.

As much as you think your ds is perfect, unfortunately not everyone in your life is going to care about being in his life in the way that you do. But sometimes it takes time to realize this. I know that when my ds was the same age I was very annoyed that my sil appeared not to be interested in my (pfb) ds. It's only really as he's got older that I've mellowed and realized that not everyone is obliged to care about other people's children, even if they're family.

Oh and, three all singing all dancing mobile phones - is he dealing now?

lulumama Sun 26-Oct-08 20:40:33

shall i also add

'is he a drug dealer now?'
don;t want to be the odd one out wink grin

Mum2OliverJames Sun 26-Oct-08 20:43:32

ok, i was expecting too much, i can see that now. i just wanted him to care.

i wont answer phone next time if i know that its him (he is always changing his number)

thank you for your time mumsnet jury!

lulumama Sun 26-Oct-08 20:44:30


next !

crankycrane Sun 26-Oct-08 20:46:45

maybe the OP may have wanted the smallest bit of acknowledgement for her ds...I dont think that is being unreasonable

crankycrane Sun 26-Oct-08 20:50:11



lulumama Sun 26-Oct-08 20:54:16

<<whispers>> i stole that from another MNer grin

Liffey Sun 26-Oct-08 20:54:51

Maybe he works for Carphonewarehouse. That was my first thought.

Mum2OliverJames Sun 26-Oct-08 20:55:48

He is a window cleaner

Crocodilius Sun 26-Oct-08 21:02:23

That explains it!
Window cleaners are renowned for needing three mobile phones.
They keep dropping them in their buckets of water.
Or getting them wrestled off them by angry husbands when they get caught taking pictures of naughty housewives.

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