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to want another?

(15 Posts)
memoo Sat 25-Oct-08 07:15:48

Bit of background, DP and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. He has 2 DC from first marriage age 5 and 6, I have 2 DC from my first marriage age 7 and 9. We live together and are getting married next year.

I am deperate to have another baby, its all i can think about, DP wants one too but is really worried about the impact on our lives finacially.

I won't work with a baby so we'll lose my wages. Which also means we'll have to sell my car and that basically each month will be a bit of a struggle. We'l just about be able to cover the basics but extras will be out of the window including holidays, although we will be able to go camping, have a big tent etc.

So am i being unreasonable, I'm worried that I am being selfish because we'll be broke. But at least we'll be happy, and thats all that matters at the end of the day right??

compo Sat 25-Oct-08 07:17:34

why can't you work with a baby? do you mean you won't go back to work or do you mean while your on maternity leave?

memoo Sat 25-Oct-08 07:20:10

Would give up work completely because I don't want to leave my baby with someone else, if I have one then I want to be able to be at home to care for it myself. It is what I did with first DC until they started school.

compo Sat 25-Oct-08 07:23:14

well if you both want one then go for it smile
Although you'll probaby want another one after that as you'll want 2 close in age like your other four. So you'll end up with 6 grin

memoo Sat 25-Oct-08 07:24:05

crikey, we'll be like the waltons grin

PsychoAxeMurdererMum Sat 25-Oct-08 09:22:09

do his children all lve with you too???

I think it would be lovely to have another. is brings the children together in an even more special way too as all four will then be connected thro the new baby.

and maybe you will be a little bit shorter on cash, but think how much richer it will make your familygrin.

altho, I have five, so I am pretty biasedwink!

memoo Sat 25-Oct-08 09:30:38

His Dc live with their mum but spend every weekend and some week nights here.

""I think it would be lovely to have another. is brings the children together in an even more special way too as all four will then be connected thro the new baby.""

Thats lovely psycho, my sentiments exactly smile

MarkStretch Sat 25-Oct-08 09:34:00

Dh and I have a 6yr dd each- his 6 yr old lives with her mum but spends weekends and the odd weeknight with us.

We've got a DC due in Feb and it feels like it's really pulling us together as a family. The dd's are really excited.

I don't blame you for wanting one together at all, I have for ages!

(and I want another one after this one!)

VinegArghhhWasStabbedInTheTits Sat 25-Oct-08 09:51:53

Can you not come to a compromise with your DH and maybe go back to work part time once you feel ready? maybe if you sit down together and work out all the options and your finances you might be able to come up with a solution to suit you all.

MarkStretch Sat 25-Oct-08 10:11:34

Vinegartits- I love your MN name, and your halloween one is fantastic!

VinegArghhhWasStabbedInTheTits Sat 25-Oct-08 10:13:28

Thanks MS! i didnt make it to the halloween shortlist though sad

findtheriver Sat 25-Oct-08 10:23:42

Do you all actually want another child in the family? If so, go for it! If your partner isn't as keen, or if it's a baby you want rather than another CHILD, then it's a different matter! But if you all agree you want another child, and you don't feel able to work, then surely having less money is something you'll just accept as part and parcel?
It's only selfish if it's something you want and your partner doesnt

yummymummy1405 Sat 25-Oct-08 11:28:50

oh do it! You won't take memories of your bank statements with ya!

PsychoAxeMurdererMum Sat 25-Oct-08 17:10:07

memoo......sounds like you are keen, so I say go for it.

jammi Sat 25-Oct-08 17:14:56

Message withdrawn

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