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to tell my friend she stinks of smoke?

(38 Posts)
yesmynameisigglepiggle Fri 24-Oct-08 18:00:50

My friend has recently been on a weight loss kick and smokes a lot. At first I didn't notice but now I can smell smoke on her before I am close. Her house and car smell and when her DS came for tea the other day his clothes smell. I don't want to hurt her feelings. What would you do? Would you say anything??

ilovemydog Fri 24-Oct-08 18:02:28

No, unless she asks, 'do I smell of smoke?...'

BBeingpatient Fri 24-Oct-08 18:02:44

she cant change it, she can only cover it, i lived in a smoking household and a friend told me she could smell it on me even tho i didnt smoke and i never spoke to her again, she hurt me that much, i couldnt do anything about it, i dont see what you will achieve by syaing anything unless you want to lose this friend

hobbgoblin Fri 24-Oct-08 18:03:07

Can I just check it isn't me please because I fit the description...

does she have just the one child?

I'd want you to say - even though I'd be mortified because I smoke in the garden to avoid such unpleasantness.

MamaG Fri 24-Oct-08 18:04:19

I told my Mum

its disgusting

We went out yesterday and I went for the car, when I collected her she absolutely STANK and I had to drive with the windows open. She'd been outside as well, on a windy day

It really is horrible

dinny Fri 24-Oct-08 18:05:17

if you smoke, even outside, non-smokers can smell it on you

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween Fri 24-Oct-08 18:05:56

That depends how close a friend you are.

MamaG Fri 24-Oct-08 18:06:23

... but no, don't tell her unless she asks, I think.

RideEmCowboy Fri 24-Oct-08 18:06:46

My 4 year old ds told my friend that she was really smelly yesterday because she had a quick smoke on her way from her car to the front door. blush

What can you say? I just tried to change the subject. But he was right. She stinks.

yesmynameisigglepiggle Fri 24-Oct-08 18:07:01

She has 4 children hobbgoblin. Gosh, I can't tell her can I? It is just none of my business.

hanaflower Fri 24-Oct-08 18:08:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueskyandsunshine Fri 24-Oct-08 18:08:17

I've just given up.. I'd like to say yes, I would have preferred to be told, because I used to smoke outside (sometimes wearing a plastic mac to cover my clothes) to prevent this happening. But in reality I think I would have been mortified. Dragon is right.

llareggub Fri 24-Oct-08 18:08:21

Am ex-smoker.

I was mortified how badly I used to smell. Of course I never realised until I stopped and smelled it on others. Even clothes that my MIL has freshly washed smell faintly of smoke because she has handled them.

I would tell her, unless she is depressed, in which case don't.

ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood Fri 24-Oct-08 18:08:29

well I wouldn't, Ismoke and probally smell of smoke.
I would be a bit pissed if someone told me I smelt.
all people smell of something

dinny Fri 24-Oct-08 18:10:05

I wouldn't tell her unless she asks though

blueskyandsunshine Fri 24-Oct-08 18:10:36

llareggub, a week after giving up smoking all our bedrooms still have a faint smell of smoke from me just being in them with the children -- and I never even smoked in the house

I never knew, I can only tell now I don't do it

yesmynameisigglepiggle Fri 24-Oct-08 18:12:13

Think I should keep out of it really. Would hate her to be upset. Not as bad as my MIL who promised she had given up smoking and turned up stinking of fags and chewing gum!

hobbgoblin Fri 24-Oct-08 18:12:21

Ewwww...

It's not me, but by the sounds of things it easily could be.

I'd want to know but it would have to be put in a VERY kindly way!

ChubbyDick Fri 24-Oct-08 18:15:40

I'd tell her. Very nicely. Though she'll probably still be upset.

Perhaps it'll be an incentive to give up?

I'm sure she'd rather have a kind friend tell her than for you to let her go about her life having people screw their noses up when she sits near them etc.

yesmynameisigglepiggle Fri 24-Oct-08 18:17:19

oooh I don't know... I could maybe bring up a conversation about MIl and hope she asks??

hollyandnoah Fri 24-Oct-08 18:17:49

i can't smell smoke on people, but i dont smoke.. I'd never be able to catch someone out.

TheInvisibleSpookDidIt Fri 24-Oct-08 18:28:30

I have a friend like this. We were round her's last week and it was awful.

Would never say anything though. If she asked outright, maybe very tactfully tell her.

harpsichordcarrier Fri 24-Oct-08 18:31:45

good god no, don't say anything. what on earth good would that do, apart from making her feel absolutely awful and really hurting her feelings.
I mean, what would be your purpose in telling her?
do you think she will stop smoking because you don't like the smell hmm
do you want her to stop coming round??

muggglewump Fri 24-Oct-08 18:38:59

I used to smoke, always outside but I was well aware I smelled of it. I showered and washed my hair daily and changed my clothes as I would do anyway.
I wasn't a secret smoker, I just smoked!

Your friend will know she smells of it, telling her will just be rude and if it bothers you that much don't see her anymore.

MrsGhoulofGhostbourne Fri 24-Oct-08 18:49:55

Smokers ALWAYS smell of smoke, but I would not dream of telling them - what's the point? They can't fix it unless they stop smoking, and if they won't unless they want to for other reasons.

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