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to be annoyed that results of my 'anonymous' survey have been feed back to my childminder who is now pissed off

(19 Posts)
shootfromthehip Thu 23-Oct-08 16:03:00

DD started with a childminder for 1 day a week 2 yrs ago. Then 2 1/2 she was spectacularly fussy food wise and I hoped that seeing the other children eat other things would encourage her. Reasonable.

When I asked the childminder to try her with the same food as the others, which she apparently did but ended up giving her a cheese sandwich (which she ate at home). For several weeks I would get the same thing- 'she only ate a cheese sandwich'. I kept going with it- 'I'm sure she'll eat other things if she sees the others doing it'. I explained that I would be happy for her go hungry for one afternoon (I got her back at 3pm) if she didn't eat what everyone else was having. Again, reasonable to me as her mother.

I got nowhere but was heavily pregnant and decided to let it go- cheese sandwiches were alternated with chips from Burgerking (sporadic so I didn't kick off). I know that I should have perhaps more of an issue but the childminder is a lovely woman who looks a bit scared when I talk to her as she is quite shy, or I am quite scary?

Anyway, last year the council issued a questionnaire that I filled in as part of her inspection- it asked about the food and I explained that I was unhappy with the lack of variety. I also mentioned that there was a lack of structured activity. However I had never mentioned this to her and so I was a bit relieved that she didn't mention it. Unreasonable of me not to have discussed it with her.

So a year goes by and nothing changes and I because I was happy with her overall (and there are a dearth of childcare alternatives where we live), I decided to send DS to her for a day a week. When talking to her about him I explained that he would eat anything so feel free to give him whatever she wants(he would be more likely to pull apart a cheese- sodding- sandwich) and I suggested soup etc. I do pay for lunches but it's only £1 each.

To keep this shorter than it could be, DS now goes somewhere else and he gets a variety. When the questionnaire came out this year I mentioned it again (that I wasn't impressed by the food) and a couple of other minor issues re feedback ect. Reasonable?

So today I see the childminder and she storms up to me saying as of next week she's not doing lunches anymore. I immediately feel guilty and then pretended to be surprised (I know, I know but the questionnaire said it was anonymous). And she turned round and said 'well I didn't get a very good inspection because you aren't happy with the lunches so I've decided to keep childminding but drop the lunches', as she pressed a note into my hands.

The note said that she would give me the oppertunity to discuss the situation with her. I am mortified that I didn't speak to her more about it but also pissed off that the feedback I did give a) specified that it came from me and b) has been so ill-received.

Okay- am I being unreasonable or not?

littleducks Thu 23-Oct-08 16:05:46

who was the questinaire from? she does serve others lunchs doesnt she? or is it as when she has had your kids this comment has flagged up and so she has guessed it was you?

shootfromthehip Thu 23-Oct-08 16:09:33

The childminder is registered with the Local Authority and the questionnaire was from them. She does serve lunch to the other kids

llareggub Thu 23-Oct-08 16:09:39

I think if your DD was there every day then the cheese sandwiches would be an issue. But once a week? Hardly an issue, I think.

But it is very wrong that the anonymous survey clearly wasn't. You should take it up with the inspectors.

lal123 Thu 23-Oct-08 16:14:19

maybe everyone complained?

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 23-Oct-08 16:14:29

Message withdrawn

Grumpalina Thu 23-Oct-08 16:22:14

Presumably she would get feed back re her inspection otherwise it would be a bit pointles doing it???

The form may be anonymous but if you are the only one to make comment about the lunches then it probably doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out you were the one who made reference to it in the inspection forms.

However her reaction does seem a bit unreasonable. Surely she should have just asked to discuss it with you rather than taking such drastic measures (or maybe other parents also mentioned it and it wasn't just you) (and the 'you' she used meant was the genereal one)

shootfromthehip Thu 23-Oct-08 16:25:41

The issue was not the sandwiches as I know that my daughter is picky so I didn't push it- I mentioned that I would like more variety as I would. What bother me here is that she now thinks that I think that she is a crap childminder. The other issues I mentioned were that I don't get structured feedback and that I don't think she sets educational targets during activities- and she doesn't and I don't expect her to. She has DD once a week and is NOT a nursery. They asked about these things and I told them that that was not my expectation. If she has had the feedback re the sodding sandwiches though, she will have had the rest and they have obviously explained that as a critisicm. I think I need to call her tonight. Wish I'd never bothered with the whole thing.

Mercy Thu 23-Oct-08 16:29:27

Was it a yes no type survey? Or could you make your own comments?

shootfromthehip Thu 23-Oct-08 16:31:57

It was a likert scale- to what extent to I agree- strongly etc. I also wrote comments to justify any strongly disagree etc. nShe is a nice woman and does well with DD- there are just certain things that they expect her to do and she doesn't. Again, I don't expect her to either.

Mercy Thu 23-Oct-08 16:40:52

I think you'll need to explain to her just as you have done here tbh.

I suppose part of the problem is that she probably is meant to provide structured feedback, educational actvities etc whether the parents mind or not, so that's why she's had some negative feedback as a result of the inspection report.

I wouldn't like to be a childminder these days.

pingping Thu 23-Oct-08 16:55:38

Most likely alot of parents complained about the food else nothing would of been said if 4 people said lunch is great and 1 said its crap

YANBU

and if lunches for you are such a problem send him with a packed lunch

pingping Thu 23-Oct-08 16:55:38

Most likely alot of parents complained about the food else nothing would of been said if 4 people said lunch is great and 1 said its crap

YANBU

and if lunches for you are such a problem send him with a packed lunch

BoysAreLikeZombies Thu 23-Oct-08 17:05:46

I am gobsmacked that the council - the COUNCIL - has interfered in the way that this CM runs her business.

What is it to do with the council ? They have no jurisdiction over the way that the setting is run, that is OFSTED's job.

Unbelievable that they also fed back to the CM in such a way as she can identify you.

How awkward for you, SFTH.

Sycamoretree Thu 23-Oct-08 17:08:16

But BOYS..when I looked for info and a list of local CM's I found that info via my local council website - they are surely all connected in some way?

Or not?

BoysAreLikeZombies Thu 23-Oct-08 17:10:56

Yes - in that they act as a central point for info for parents to find childcare - but the actual care is regulated wholly by OFSTED

Unless this is summat else new....

[dun dun duuuunnn]

dittany Thu 23-Oct-08 17:21:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 23-Oct-08 17:26:35

Message withdrawn

soultaken Thu 23-Oct-08 18:19:56

No YANBU - you were told that the questionnaire was anonymous and you spoke candidly because of this. You would have made different comments had you known the CM was gonna be informed.

The people to be annoyed with are the council though, not the CM. But as someone else said, why were the council doing this survey anyway?

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