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to be hacked off that childminder didn't want DD today

(54 Posts)
Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:11:01

Well, I think I am in part, but not completely.

DD had slightly dodgy bowels yesterday, but not diahorrea (ie no urgency, just very splattery and went 3 times in a day when she normally goes less than once a day), and was very, very slightly sick in the night - she may have even coughed herself sick rather than spontaneously barffed, not sure.

She was a little tired this morning but showed no other signs of poorliness, bowels seemed back to normal, everything seemed fine.

I had to speak to the childminder this morning as we were going a bit late and might have had to drop her at a playgroup instead of at her house. Stupidly I mentioned that she was under the weather, and CM said 'better stay on the safe side, as the other two children are going on holiday'.

Now, I work part time, am losing a day's work this week anyway as DP is away and he has her one of my days, and I'm massively backed up at work (which is a big deal as I'm the manager of, well, everything). If I thought DD had something she could pass on, I wouldn't have hesitated to keep her home.

But to be asked to keep her away because of the other kids? This childminder is usually quite rational about illness - colds and coughs, no problem, unidentified spots only after GP has checked, obviously rampant diseases, stay away. All find and sensible as far as I'm concerned.

The reason I'm feeling hard done by is that she'd be taking the other two to playgroup where they could pick up anything anyway, and it seems a bit weird to protect them from something that wasn't obviously a bug anyway, and that looked like it was over in less than 12 hours. Kids go to her with streaming colds and hacking coughs, and surely that would spoil someone's holiday more than a 12 hr bug?

Also - I know the other parents haven't ever shown us the same consideration.

It just seems a bit of an overreaction on the CMs part. I accept that I'm a bit nonchalent about germs, but the other two kids are older than DD (who is 2.25) and pretty robust, it's not like there were tiny babies around to catch anything.

I do appreciate this may sound selfish, but it's the inconsistency that is bugging me, rather than the action itself I think.

expatinscotland Wed 22-Oct-08 15:13:37


They wouldn't take her at school like that and they'd make you come get her if she passed loose stools.

Most places where you have to work with food or with ill people make you go 24 hours without vomitting or having loose bowel movements before you can come back to work and that's the law.

expatinscotland Wed 22-Oct-08 15:13:39


They wouldn't take her at school like that and they'd make you come get her if she passed loose stools.

Most places where you have to work with food or with ill people make you go 24 hours without vomitting or having loose bowel movements before you can come back to work and that's the law.

chopchopbusybusy Wed 22-Oct-08 15:14:42

Your DD had D & V. YABU.

traceybath Wed 22-Oct-08 15:15:42

YABU - at school its 48 hours from last loose stools or vomiting.

RubyShivers Wed 22-Oct-08 15:15:42

at our nursery it is 48 hours with D & V

what is your CM's policy?

RhinestoneCowghoul Wed 22-Oct-08 15:15:53

My CM is also v flexible about minor illness such as colds, but D&V is different. YABU, sorry...

sclubheaven Wed 22-Oct-08 15:16:15

I think your childminder did the right thing.

Coughs and colds are not normally something a parent would have to take time off for, so it doesn't matter if those get passed on.

If your DD gave one of the other children a sickness/diahorrea bug it would be a nightmare for all those other parents.

RubyShivers Wed 22-Oct-08 15:16:36

if the situation was reversed and you were about to go on holiday and another parent took their child to the minder KNOWING they had D & V you would be mightily hacked off

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:17:35

I have no experience of school so nothing to compare it to, just how the CM treats other bugs - that's why it seems weird. Other kids have been left with her with everything from chicken pox to pleuracy to slapped cheek...

How would they know a child had passed loose stools at school, btw, do they stand over them on the loo? That's a genuine question, btw...

Not sure the food or ill people has got much relevance - last time I looked she wasn't preparing the other kids' lunch wink

For some reason I wouldn't have minded as much if she'd just said 'no don't bring her'. It was the 'because the others are going on holiday' thing that pissed me off!

sclubheaven Wed 22-Oct-08 15:22:11

She shouldn't have taken children with chicken pox or slapped cheek at the contagious stage - maybe they had passed that stage. I don't think plueresy is contagious but I may be wrong!

They don't know if a child has passed loose stools at school - it's up to the parents not to send them back until bowels are normal.

D&V bugs can be highly contagious and it's easily passed on just mingling with other kids.

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:22:38

RubyShivers, they have, that's partly my point.

sclubheaven - personally I find a hacking cough and constantly runny nose far more of a problem (feeding difficulties, very disturbed sleep) at home or on holiday than an incredibly mild and short attack of something that might just have been something she ate.

I'm still not convinced it was a bug.

RubyShivers Wed 22-Oct-08 15:23:29

Your CM shouldn't be taking children with infectious diseases

i would be FUMING if a carer did this

RubyShivers Wed 22-Oct-08 15:24:44

your CM needs to set some boundaries about infection control

expatinscotland Wed 22-Oct-08 15:24:44

they know usually because the kid's got a tummy ache.

or the kid often tells them.

of course, if they vomit it's obvious.

YABVU to be nonchalant about D&V bugs.

expatinscotland Wed 22-Oct-08 15:25:34

And a D&V bug may not effect your child much, but may affect another much more.

RubyShivers Wed 22-Oct-08 15:27:12

agree with Expat - D & V is potentially very serious

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:28:01

x-posting a-go-go!

CM got contagious phase of chicken pox and slapped cheek wrong I think (although I'd have been quite happy for DD to get chicken pox).

I know D&V can be severe, dangerous and even fatal. But like I said - if I thought she really did have a 'proper' bug, there's no way I'd have sent her.

But - I didn't know the 24/48 hour rule of thumb thing. I will check her policy. Last time DD had a full-on D&V attack I didn't send her back until 72 hours after she'd last vommed, cos she was still so washed out and listless. So, I don't think I'm particularly cavalier about these things...

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:30:42

And as an aside, she is an absolute star of a childminder in pretty much every way so if she does have a weakness maybe it's taking parent's word that their child is fine/no longer contagious (see previous chicken pox and slapped cheek incidents!)

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:32:49

Well, as I said, I did suspect I was B a bit U.

Least I've got it out of my system, ay!

ShosheTheGhoshe Wed 22-Oct-08 15:44:31

I am a CM and issue this to all my parents, it states all the exclusion times for Schools, Nurseries and CM's

Mij Wed 22-Oct-08 15:58:21

That's a very useful doc, thanks Shoshe

Is there any difference between a D&V bug, as in a communicable disease, and D&V through eating something slightly dodgy, re: keeping kids away? I mean, if you're sure it's food related? Or are the dangers the same?

That is, I think, another source of my (unreasonable!) irritation - it just didn't seem to behave like any other D&V bout I've experienced.

dilemma456 Wed 22-Oct-08 16:02:16

Message withdrawn

hana Wed 22-Oct-08 16:03:47


I was most annoyed when another mum using same childminder kept her won away in the morning as he had been sick the night before - but sent him in the afteroon as he was 'better' - cm didn't know kid had been vomitting but I did. grrrrr am lucky my kids didn't pick somethign up from this other one

ShosheTheGhoshe Wed 22-Oct-08 16:07:22

D&V is D&V in my mind, I had one come in once, who had 'mushy' nappies after three I sent home, Mum was most put out and said he was sick after tea last night it was something he ate.

My whole setting had to close. We all had it.

I dont take any chances.

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