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uncle is discussing my dd with dad's ex

(8 Posts)
ilovetochat Tue 21-Oct-08 20:02:52

My dad had a relationship with a lady i didnt particularly like (due to comments about my mom) for about 2 years, thay split 3-4 years ago. Since the dad has moved on and now lives with someone else. My uncle and aunt really liked my dad's ex and now keep in touch with her (their choice although it annoys my dad). My problem lies in the fact they have been discussing my dd with this ex (dd is only 15 months so she wouldn't have even known i was pregnant if they hadn't old her). I send my uncle pictures of dd and last time he told me he had forwarded them to family members that we don't see (not really a problem as they are family) but i am worried he may be passing them to this ex. She didn't even like me so why is she asking about me and my dd? AIBU

DoubleBluff Tue 21-Oct-08 20:04:25

yeah but no but yeah but no

hecAteTheirBrains Tue 21-Oct-08 21:14:39

I don't know if you are being unreasonable but you are certainly being unrealistic! People talk. They talk about people they know. They like her, she knows you, they know you, they talk about you. People just do that.

You could always say that they are not to talk about you with this woman, but tbh I think they'd think you're a nutter!

Would it help you to think it through? So they tell her about you. Then what happens? How can that information being passed on affect you? You are worried she has info and pics - why? What specifically gives you cause for concern?

Perhaps if you can break it down and identify reasons, you could go to them and say "Please do not share my info with X because 1, 2, 3 will happen..."

I mean, I have no idea if you will find reasons, I don't know the first thing about this woman or your history - she might be a mad axe murderer, or a perfectly normal person.

mrsbobito Tue 21-Oct-08 21:40:15

sounds like she is just nosey and you might as well forget about it, its only going to cause harm if you let it get to you.

Mandelbrot Tue 21-Oct-08 21:44:57

For all you know the ex might be thinking, ffs please don't let them bang on about ilovetochat's dd, I've moved on and am not interested.

Agree with Hecate - people are allowed to talk. You may not be comfortable with a woman you dislike knowing you have a dd, but as H says, what's the harm? How do you know she is asking about your dd? Perhaps she's making conversation or the aunt and uncle are making it sound as if she is interested when she isn't. Folks do odd things. Unless you suspect an agenda leave it alone.

AMumInScotland Tue 21-Oct-08 21:47:37

Many people talk about their relatives to almost-complete strangers, and show/give photos to practically everyone they know. Unless you have specific reasons for worrying about this woman (eg she has threatened you at some stage, or has a history of strange and/or violent behaviour) then I don't see that you have any right to prevent your uncle from talking to her or giving her photos.

LittleBellaLugosi Tue 21-Oct-08 21:50:16

You are mental

ilovetochat Wed 22-Oct-08 15:06:59

i'm no vicky pollard double bluff and littlebella you are just rude.
perhaps the rest of you are right and i'm being too unrealistic, she is a normal woman and it won't cause any harm, the only thing is she hasn't moved on and still rings my dad saying she knows things about us and does phone and hang up but we don't know why.
I will just forget about her and leave my uncle to speak to who he wants, it's a free country i guess. smile
Thanks apart from doublebluff pollard and mentalbella wink

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