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Recurring argument about hot water

(59 Posts)
Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:40:23

<dons hard hat>

Throughout our marriage we've had this recurring argument - which happens to be about hot water. Slightly sad, I know but I really need to know if IABU.

I like hot water. I like lashings and lashings of it to be available at all times of the day and night. I have a ridiculous job that frequently entails me leaving at 5.30 (and I have to leave showered because I can't face the day grubby) or arriving back ridiculously late and feeling grubby.

We can't have a combi boiler because of the size of the house. So I want to leave the hot water on all the time.

DH's response is to object on the grounds of cost. I offer to pay the bills. He says that's irrelevant because what's mine is his and vice versa. I don't disagree with him but it's ironic that he only uses this argument when it suits him. The au-pair, for instance, is most definitely mine.

So when I get particularly shrewish (generally after a Lack of Hot Water Episode) he swears by all that he holds holy to leave the hot water on all the time. Which is fine, until the next Lack of Hot Water Episode, when I discover he has been sneakily switching it off.

This has happened around once a year for the last seventeen years. Grounds for divorce? If yes, who is behaving unreasonably?

BloodAndMutts Mon 20-Oct-08 21:42:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScummyMummy Mon 20-Oct-08 21:42:57

Can't you have it on from 4-10am then 5pm to 1am?

Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:44:22

We do have a timer, but I can't very often predict when I will need it, so I'd like it to be on all the time.

<whispers, DH was born in Yorkshire, you know. Do you think this is relevant?>

WorzselMummage Mon 20-Oct-08 21:45:24

shocking waste of money and energy !

We have out water heater on for and hour in the morning and an hour in the evening and always have as much hot water as we need, if i am feeling inneed of an especially red hot shower the immersion on for 10 minutes does it.

Put a timer on it !

PeaMcLean Mon 20-Oct-08 21:46:26

Why is the au pair "yours"?

Apart from that, I'm afraid YABU about hot water.

How long does it take to heat up enough? And don't you have to do that anyway for everyone else in the house?

Flibbertyjibbet Mon 20-Oct-08 21:46:28

I used to have an immersion heater - two bloody great tanks for hot and cold water taking up a massive cupboard in my bedroom.

I now have a combi boiler which I would say is about 1/15 the size of the combined tanks and I have constant hot water.

However it is really expensive to have immersion all the time, get a timer so it comes on in the night ready for your morning shower and again later in the day.

I grew up with 3 sisters and we had to ask permission to put the immersion heater on. If we tried to sneak it on my dad would go up for a bath, use all the hot water and pretend not to know that we had put the immersion on grin

BloodAndMutts Mon 20-Oct-08 21:46:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday Mon 20-Oct-08 21:48:03

hmm i think it's pretty wasteful to have it on all the time.
we have ours set to come on for 15 mins in the morning and 15 mins in the evenings.

CatMandu Mon 20-Oct-08 21:49:12

You can have a combi on a larger house, we did this when the dc's were babies and I didn't know who'd need a bath when. To leave the hot water on all the time is not good environmentally and if I were your dh I'd be switching if off too.

Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:51:07

Oh forgot to say - we do have an electric shower but it is off the spare bedroom which isn't really big enough for both of us. Apparently you can only have one electric shower in the house. Because of the fusebox, you know

<nods knowledgably>

Well actually I didn't know. It's what the electrician said. He might not have been right - how would I know - but he sounded convincing.

The aupair is mine when it comes for paying for her.

BloodAndMutts Mon 20-Oct-08 21:52:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:53:14

What do you mean blood?

<puzzled>

onepieceoflollipop Mon 20-Oct-08 21:53:52

I would suspect that it would be fine to have more than one electric shower fitted in the house, just not to have more than one running at the same time? (am not an electrician though)

Is your dh (or anyone) home more than you are? Any chance you could ring ahead to say you will be back very late and someone (reliable) could promise to switch it on before they went to bed or whatever?

BloodAndMutts Mon 20-Oct-08 21:55:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandelbrot Mon 20-Oct-08 21:55:34

I have heard a rumour that it's more efficient to keep the hot water on all the time, rather than heat up a full tank once or twice a day. Anyone else heard this?

I hate when the hot water runs out too, so you have my sympathy.

Keep regular checks on the boiler controls and keep him away from it. Lay a booby trap if necessary. See the opening bit of Raiders Of The Lost Ark for ideas.

BloodAndMutts Mon 20-Oct-08 21:56:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickytwoooohtimes Mon 20-Oct-08 21:57:28

You can have more than one electric shower fitted, but they need seperate fuses in the fuse box. Any electrician could sort it out for you, but it'll cost, mind! It would mean adding a whole new circuit in the house.

Oh, and having an emmersion heater on all day is shockingly wasteful, imo, but it's your bill.

Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:57:53

LOL

Our showering together days have sort of disappeared. Perhaps I should put one in the diary?

No I meant the spare bedroom isn't big enough for both of us really, so it became the aupair's room and she wouldn't like me traipsing through at 4.30/5.00/5.30. Or late at night.

Quattrocento Mon 20-Oct-08 21:59:01

LOL at Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Maybe a mousetrap near the boiler controls?

PeaMcLean Mon 20-Oct-08 21:59:37

You realise you now need to test out the theory of running the boiler all day, as opposed to just twice a day.

Take the electric metre reading and see which day uses least electric. Try it over a week to even out inconsistencies. We need to know for sure. It's your MN duty.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 20-Oct-08 22:00:10

Some of you have immersions that heat water in just 15 mins? Bloody hell mine takes about 90mins and even then you only get half a bathfull. I keep my immersion on all the time as I dont have 90 mins to wait for water to be heating

SixSpotBonfire Mon 20-Oct-08 22:02:37

What about having it on a timer between say 4 am and 5.30 a.m., and then again between say 6 pm and 8 pm? And if you are home very late, ring DH on way home and get him to stick it on again for a bit?

JuxBackFromTheDead Mon 20-Oct-08 22:03:23

We've got 3 in our house (we only use one though). Sounds like plumbers' bollocks to me. If you're near me, I'll give you the name and phone no of a good plumber!

LittleBellaLugosi Mon 20-Oct-08 22:05:08

YABU about the immersion heater, it is terribly wasteful.

He is BU about the au-pair, why is she your cost?

What do you mean, your house is too small for a combi boiler? I lived in a 2 bed flat with a combi.

You could move to a house with a combi.

You could put in a combi.

You could get a new circuit put in.

You could start turning off appliances he likes to leave on.

Can't think of any more options now...

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