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to think that men can naturally be just as ggod at child care and laundry etc as women???

(40 Posts)
MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Mon 20-Oct-08 09:43:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 20-Oct-08 09:44:47

NO.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Mon 20-Oct-08 09:47:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wahwah Mon 20-Oct-08 09:47:24

yanbu. My son is not getting a car until his laundry skills are perfect. I suggest we all do something similar unless we wish to burden women with another generation of pathetic boys.

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm Mon 20-Oct-08 09:47:24

YANBU.
But people have different standards.
DP is fab at cleaning the kitchen, does it better than me, but he doesn't see the dirt in the bathroom.

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 20-Oct-08 09:51:06

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MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Mon 20-Oct-08 09:51:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadreInglese Mon 20-Oct-08 09:55:03

YANBU

DP is great with kids, he's like the pied piper (without the locked in the cave forever at the end bit of course) all my friends' kids love him, he is a natural.

He's very good at housework too, on the rare occasion that he indulges in some without me nagging til I'm hoarse! (hmmm, perhaps if I tell him more often how good he is at housework he might do more of it....?)

nkweto Mon 20-Oct-08 09:57:27

YANBU. And sometimes (particularly in my case laundry/ironing)... they are even better that the special woman in their life smile

i do more washing up ..but if that keeps me away from ironing.. happy days!

TheArmadillo Mon 20-Oct-08 09:58:21

YANBU.

ME and dp have our own strengths and weaknesses (e.g. I can't sew whereas he is really good at it) but we both do housework and childcare. Both are good at it in different ways.

Some stuff I've had to teach him, and some stuff he's had to teach me. It all evens out in the end.

unknownrebelbang Mon 20-Oct-08 09:58:48

YANBU.

DH, another pied piper and far more relaxed - in a good way - about childcare than I am. Does tend to forget things like homework though...

More than capable of running the home, but has different ideas about what's more important than I do.

Am going away for a few days any minute now and I'm expecting the children to be fine and the house still standing when I return. Am even hoping it will be tidier....

Kewcumber Mon 20-Oct-08 10:01:18

I am not naturally good at either. I am a woman (I think). Is there a washing/childcare gene?

I think there may be a diffence in "nurturing" due to hormones. But as long as you don't think the laundry needs nurturing see no reason why that should be a problem and child care isn't 100% cuddling so see no problme with that either.

Men get away with less childcare/laundry/shopping because women let them. If someone insisted they do it "better" I'd let them too.

Tortington Mon 20-Oct-08 10:01:55

i swear its only becuase womenmake them that way

everyone will all come over hairy femenists on this thread but you just read some of the sop threads PFB doesn't go to describe it.

and wait til they get teenagers ad your still doing what you were doing when they were 5

its your fault MUMS

deny deny deny all you like

SalLikesCoffee Mon 20-Oct-08 10:03:28

YANBU at all.

To be honest, I think dh is a lot better at it than I am.

Admin, on the other hand...

Kewcumber Mon 20-Oct-08 10:03:56

"its your fault MUMS"

Tis true - not yet 3, DS is fedding the cats and putting things in the washing because I am a lazy cow. Lazy mum is beneficial to a boy is my theory.

pellmell Mon 20-Oct-08 10:05:08

shock
DH just turned me down iykwim wink in favour of hanging the washing on the line!!!

Time to get myself a good woman....

MurderousMarla Mon 20-Oct-08 10:06:52

YANBU

Lots of things piss me off but DP can manage a miserable DS with more patience than me, and last night while I sat on MN he ironed my clothes

[grateful emoticon]

AbbaFan Mon 20-Oct-08 10:09:34

My DH would love to have the chance to be a house-hubby, and I think he would be good at it.

He can't though, because we need his salary.

MorningTownRide Mon 20-Oct-08 10:25:31

DH is SAHD.

He is way better at the childcare thing than me!

He has more patience and doesn't let the little things worry him.

The laundry is aldo done. The cleanliness of the house leaves a little to be desired but we're all happy so who cares?

FourArms Mon 20-Oct-08 10:32:19

DH is rubbish at child-care. I put it down to being an only-child who had v.little involvement with other littlies. I had two younger sisters, one 10 years younger, and my mum was a childminder. I did lots of babysitting from 16 onwards for other people too. He is also rubbish at housework. He was heavily cossetted - his mum even put his clothes away in his drawers and tidied his room at 23! However, he is fab at playing, and for this, the DS's love him. His training is ongoing, & like a fine wine, he's improving with age wink

MorrisZapp Mon 20-Oct-08 12:29:30

Hellmouth, are you saying that some mums are all PFB about their sons, but expect their daughters to learn how to cook and clean?

IME even in quite conservative households that is no longer the case. My granny was a sexist old dragon, who felt that girls aged 8 should cook for and wait on boys aged 13 (can you feel my rage angry) but surely nobody actually raises kids like this nowadays?

I've found that some mums indulge their kids and some mums don't, but in both cases the boys and girls are treated the same.

The point being there will be loads of girls out there whose mothers waited on them hand and foot, but who are still expected to do this for their husbands or partners when they become adult. So blaming the mum is pointless unless she deliberately raised her sons to think that women should serve them domestically.

Kewcumber Mon 20-Oct-08 12:57:50

morris I think just as important as what you expect your DS's to do (as opposed to DD's) is what you expect your DH to do which your childrne absorb.

I think there are loads of mothers who expect their DC's to do equal amounts but their childrne watch their faterhs have proportionately less chores to do than anyone else (this is a statistical fact even in households where bith parents work outside the home).

"Do as I say not as I do" tends not to work too well as a parenting tool!

gemmiegoatlegs Mon 20-Oct-08 13:01:26

i hate that I am supposed to be grateful because my dh cooks 2 nights a week, can change a nappy and runs the vac around occasionally. I am sick to death of having to count myself lucky that I've married a goodun. Unless he's doing half he aint doing enough imho

TheHedgeWitch Mon 20-Oct-08 13:03:24

Message withdrawn

BlingLovin Mon 20-Oct-08 13:04:55

I have a theory on why men are bad at laundry... most men only have two kinds of clothing: piles of t-shirts and cotton shirts, jeans, cotton underwear and occassional jumper on one hand and formal suits etc on the other hand.

So... even as students/young men, when they have to look after themselves, they don't learn the nature of delicates, or seperating washing because they dry clean their suits and bung everything else in the machine and it all comes out fine.

Women on the other hand, are constantly fighting a losing battle with delicate underwear, work blouses, or cashmere jumpers. We probably do destroy a couple when we first start doing laundry for ourselves, and then we learn. At least, that happened to me. But until men have destroyed your three favourite work jumpers and had you insisting on them buying new ones, they don't learn because it doesn't impact them...

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