DP and I have a two-month-old baby. He had a number of provisional guests lined up for this weekend - a couple of friends he'd put off last weekend and his parents. I asked him to find out when they would be here, or suggest times to them. He said that was ridiculous and that they would most likely just phone one of the days and say they might come at a certain time - if we were in we would say OK come on over and if we were out we would say Nope we're not there. He said to phone up and say "You said you might come, can you say when that might be" would be rude and that I should learn to fall in with things more easily.
DP is a very easygoing sort of fellow and admittedly I am not. I'm prone to the blues and while nine times out of ten I'm happy enough to have spontaneous visitors, the tenth time might be a blue time for me and I really don't cope well with it. The other nine times I love people calling in, I'm sociable, I love to see them.
We've clashed about this before, e.g. the day I came home wiht the new baby his sister came over about an hour after I got home. I was bleeding really heavily and just not really on form to receive her. Another sister came to my hospital room one night (I only had my mum visiting, the baby was in intensive care). Another time a sister and his mum came and I was really really tired and he was cross, saying I hadn't made enough effort.
Well sorry to bore but the bottom line is that as there's been a bit of history about DP bringing people spontaneously at times which were bad for me, I've got a bit over-neurotic and now want him to pre-arrange everything. I don't particularly want to be like this but I feel I have to protect myself.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I mad, neurotic and unwelcoming? I should add that I like his friends, I like (though am not close to) his family, and of course I love him very much.
I have changed my name for this because if there are any useful replies I want to be able to show DP this thread without him seeing my normal username and popping off to read all my pregnancy/labour posts about discharges and piles and whatever. I know all about the trollery and worse than trollery that's gone on here over the last couple of weeks.
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61 replies
HormonalHorror · 18/10/2008 19:36
OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor ·
18/10/2008 19:46
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