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to tell dd2 NOT to play fight with some of the dads from school?

(38 Posts)
Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 15:44:26

they encourage a bunch of girls to hit them and catch them
2 different dads do this - one I know vaguely, he is a nice guy.

dd2 (6) and 3 or 4 other girls hit and try and fight them

I really hate it and today told dd2 to stop and not to do it any more. It just seems disrespectful to an adult who she hardly knows to behave like this, even though the men encourage it.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 15:53:06

am I?

Mandelbrot Fri 17-Oct-08 15:55:34


I think the dads think they are playing. You could always join in and boot them one in the knackers. Perhaps that would discourage them.


Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 15:56:52


yes the dads are playing

but it really winds dd2 up and I just DO NOT LIKE IT

also its only girls the big jessies, they darent take any 6 year old boys on

sweetcat Fri 17-Oct-08 15:58:07

LOL Mandlebrot.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 15:58:53

I dont even know the one that was doing it today

except his wife cried to me once that she had to leave him as he was abusive hmm

misshardbroom Fri 17-Oct-08 15:59:47

YANBU - I wouldn't be comfortable with this either.

A couple of reasons... first of all as you say, it's sending out conflicting messages about how to behave around adults. It's difficult to reinforce ideas of respect, manners, decorum (and yes, I am stuck in an Austen novel, before anyone tells me I am wink) if you're then condoning this behaviour.

But the other question is what is wrong with these blokes that they want to play fight with other people's daughters? I'm just not sure it's an entirely appropriate way for a grown man to interact with little girls.

oh well, will probably get flamed for this, but it's just my opinion FWIW.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 16:15:37

lol @ 'misshardbroom' (dd2s FAVE wwitch characer)

I told dd2 to stop in front the dad and other parents

am aware they will now think me up tight old bag

mazzystartled Fri 17-Oct-08 16:19:59

I wouldn't like it either, but I am not sure why exactly.

I think some blokes just don't really know how to relate to young kids, so scrapping seems like a good idea.

madlentileater Fri 17-Oct-08 16:20:29

YANBU, what the witch said, wierd for any man to want to do this, none of the nice normal men I know would do this. TBH I think it's a bit odd when men play fight with their own DSs, but I know that's my uptight pc humourless feminism.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 16:24:04

oh good

not just me then

am in terrible mood anyway

pingping Fri 17-Oct-08 17:03:17

YANBU bit weird they want to playfight with girls they don't know or that they encourage hmmmm I would rather be uptight than have my child 1 not knowing how to act around adults and 2 have 2 grown men befriend my child and then something bad happen to them. ( not that I am suggesting that these 2 grown men are Peodo's or anything but u have heard how the stories go Ian huntley etc

TeeBee Fri 17-Oct-08 21:44:34

I can't imagine why any self-respecting person would do that with young girls! I think you are right, too weird.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 21:45:22

ok I am sure they are not paedophiles

TeeBee Fri 17-Oct-08 21:48:06

They may not be - but that is still odd behaviour. Surely they must be aware of the impression they are putting out. Anyway, YANBU to stop your DS from partaking in their madness.

misshardbroom Fri 17-Oct-08 21:50:58

No, I wasn't trying to suggest they were dodgy either, just that you want to teach your daughters that there are appropriate / inappropriate ways of interacting with the opposite sex, be they boys their own age or grown men (but esp grown men).

Sorry for inevitable typos, wayyyyyyyy too much cheap wine at PTA do.

Eniddo Fri 17-Oct-08 21:51:46

yy exactly

what is odd is that TWO different dads do it

onebatmotherofNormanBates Fri 17-Oct-08 22:04:25

Not sure how play-fighting with girls is anti-feminist though, madlentileater?

Is it because it mirrors dv?

I'd be more inclined to see it as a (misguided) stab at equality.

I dont' think girls get enough rough and tumble tbh, but I can see that this is not quite the right way to go about it.

2shoesdrippingwithblood Fri 17-Oct-08 22:12:12

how very odd

EmiliaCoralie Fri 17-Oct-08 23:54:45

YANBU. Way too familiar. How strange

solidgoldskullonastick Sat 18-Oct-08 00:05:37

I'm not sure that it's healthy to teach your DDs that men are some kind of alien species who need to be treated in a special way or deferred to. If your DD is unhappy with this playfighting, talk to her about it, suggest that the men are a bit silly (any child over the age of 5 needs to know that adults are not always right) and that she should just walk away if she doesn't want to play with them.

onebatmotherofNormanBates Sat 18-Oct-08 11:50:07

well put, sgb.

madlentileater Sun 19-Oct-08 19:22:56

no, tis not that I think men play fighting with girls is anti feminist, i aggree about girls not getting enough active play, just that I feel father/son play fighting a bit odd, like male bonding has to be through fighting...I guess it's my inner pacifist that's most bothered...but i realise many would think this extreme.
I think labelling this behaviour as 'silly' probably wisest.

mooog Sun 19-Oct-08 19:39:12

I am not sure if this has been answered already but do these "men" playfight with any little boys? And to be honest I defo would not be happy that grown men want to playfight with little girls!! Sounds a bit dodgy to me.

WideWebWitch Sun 19-Oct-08 19:48:17

Oh it's just bloody well not on, is it? I hate playfighting with boys or girls and I'd say to my dd "please don't join in, we don't agree with hitting do we?" or something.

wankers. Why do men have to do this?

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