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...to feel the wind has been taken out of my sail?

(18 Posts)
FlirtyThirty Thu 16-Oct-08 17:15:29

I'm pregnant and have just got home from 12 wk scan to get a phone call telling me that another family member (close knit) is expecting a baby at the same time.

We haven't told anyone about our baby yet (were waiting til this scan) and I know it is ridiculous and I should just be happy (and I am happy for her), but I also feel a little deflated...like our news now be recieved with a sort of 'oh, another baby' comment...

<<Flirty considers giving herself kick up backside>>

nickytwoooohtimes Thu 16-Oct-08 17:17:19

They will still be excited. Bless you! And congrats.

KimiTrickOrTreat Thu 16-Oct-08 17:17:44

congratulations.

Don't feel deflated, I was pregnant at the same time as 2 0f my DHs cousins

Ah, you will soon be enjoying being pregnant with your close relative. It is understandable that you are a bit miffed at being pipped at the post wiht your news, but you are going to make your family really happy with your news. Bet they are real chuffed with the family babyboom.

How far along is your relative?

WorzselMummage Thu 16-Oct-08 17:21:05

i know how you feel but dont let it bother you too much and massive congratulations !

We were ttc for ages with miscarriages and then sil for pg after 5 minutes trying, i got pg a month after but am a bit fucked off about it all.

To top if off i have just read that they like the same name as us.

I'd be so unbelieveable annoyed and upset if they steal it, we've been thinking about it for so bloody long angry

lulumama Thu 16-Oct-08 17:23:23

no-one has the monopoly on names or getting pregnant at a certain time

surely there is enough love and happiness within the family to share amongst more than one baby

i would have been delighted to have a baby the same time as my sister, as it happens, she had her first a year after i had my second and last baby.

congratulations to you on your pregnancy

FlirtyThirty Thu 16-Oct-08 17:28:54

Thanks everyone...I will put all sad thoughts behind me and concentrate on the splodgy scan picture of my baby instead!

Lulumama - there is plenty love to go round and I'm rational enough to know my feelings are irrational...but that's their nature!

WorzselMummage Thu 16-Oct-08 17:40:52

I'm really sorry Flirty my post was so rude and mememe

I meant to say i know how you feel not go off on one about myself.

Sure you will feel differently when you start shopping together !

morningpaper Thu 16-Oct-08 17:42:34

You are pregnant and therefore crazy emotional

But seriously, this will be GREAT! SOOOOOO much easier at family do's when there are two the same age. And you can do each other baby-sitting favours. This is the BEST news really!

Freckle Thu 16-Oct-08 17:47:35

Ah but has relative jumped in early with her news, so announces pregnancy ahead of you, but, as you waited until after 12 week scan, you announce later but will produce earlier?? Thereby stealing her thunder at producing first baby.

DandyLioness Thu 16-Oct-08 17:50:19

Message withdrawn

DandyLioness Thu 16-Oct-08 17:52:13

Message withdrawn

bubblagirl Thu 16-Oct-08 18:07:30

no it wont be like that myself and 2 cousins wetre all pregnant same time and everyone was just as excited its a new life not like someone has the same bag lol so no suprise there

they will be over the moon and excited that you too will be having a baby and can share this moment with someone in the family alot of the time you feel alone as only one pregnant you will have someone who will uinderstand at same time

it was great when all 3 of us were pregnant all family were excited and we all had each other to talk to dont worry its probably because you were wanting it to be your moment only but it still can are you not happy for other member of family?

bubblagirl Thu 16-Oct-08 18:09:43

congratulations by the way im sure you and said family member will be over the moon for each other and just as excited to see each other bloom and discuss babies and hormones lol

clam Thu 16-Oct-08 18:19:16

And remember you've also got plenty of other people to tell outside of the family - for whom your news will be a one-off.
YANBU though. I think I'd feel a little deflated as well. Even if it weren't for the hormones. But it'll pass, specially once the news has been given and becomes old-hat and everything settles down again. And you never know, they could be even more excited at the coincidence of there being two of you. Double the joy...

ChairmumMiaow Thu 16-Oct-08 18:25:45

OP - I can understand how you feel, but it is lovely having LOs close together with your family.

I am close to SIL's family, and I recently found out that her sister had been TTC for ages already when I announced that I was pregnant (and DS was an accident). When I realised how she must have felt when I announced on a weekend camping with the family, I felt really bad. She however, was very gracious about it and she seems to have made the most of it when she got pregnant around 6 months later as we got to pass on pregnancy books and share stories, which was lovely.

Any disappointment about family not getting so excited will I'm sure (if it does happen) soon fade and if you're at all close to this relative, you'll just love sharing the milestones etc.

YANBU but try to look on the bright side instead

MKG Thu 16-Oct-08 18:27:26

When I was pregnant with ds1 my sil was 3 months behind me. It was fun.

Watching our boys grow up together has been great as they are the best of friends.

Trust me, it's wonderful.

twofalls Thu 16-Oct-08 18:28:19

flirty, I know exactly how you feel. When I was about 20 weeks pg, my SIL announced on christmas day that she was also pg with her second. Her first had been absolutely smothered with attention from the whole family, including me, and I remember thinking that my dd wouldn't benefit from all that attention because 8 weeks after she was born, another baby would be on the way. I knew I was being irrational but I was so upset. I also felt really guilty/childish about being upset.

Anyway, of course it was fine and there really is enough love and attention to go around for all new babies in a family and actually it will be lovely for you to have someone close to share your pregnancy/new baby days with. Now my DD and my niece are both 2 and half and its bedlam at my mum's these days but really nice.

Allow yourself a little bit of time to be miffed and then try to see all the pros!

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