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Is DP being unreasonable?

(10 Posts)
maryjmj Tue 14-Oct-08 21:31:25

We've just moved into a new house. My mother and grandmother came to visit and noticed that DS didn't have any covers on his bed. It had been taken off for the wash but they were up in arms saying "how come he has no covers? he'll be freezing? do you have no money?" etc etc

Truth was of course, as I told them, he DID have a cover but we could do with some more. So it immediately got spread around the family that we were living in an impoverished state, had no money, DS had no covers on his bed etc hmm

A few days later my mum turned up with a load of covers and a hot water bottle.

DP took one look and said "oh for fucks sake, talk about going over the top and over-reacting". He then went on to say that if my family couldn't keep their noses out of our business they were not welcome.

I was annoyed too but keep trying to remember they were only trying to help but I know they did go OTT and make a mountain out of a molehill.

Is he being unreasonable?

compo Tue 14-Oct-08 21:32:58

yes he is being unreasonable
aw bless them for helping

maryjmj Tue 14-Oct-08 21:33:35

He said they're trying to make out that we can't look after DS. Which is how it comes across sometimes tbh.

dizzywitches Tue 14-Oct-08 21:35:36

tad over reaction on his behalf but maybe he doesn't like the thought they think he can't provide/look after you all

grasping at straws here smile

Flum Tue 14-Oct-08 21:35:39

Brilliant, next time they come hide all the shoes and hopefully they will go and buy him some!

Also if he goes to visit be sure to forget to put in PJs and a warm coat and hopefully they will buy him a new ones too.

This all works a treat with my MIL and is hilarious!

compo Tue 14-Oct-08 21:36:22

agree witn Flum
at least they won't be expecting xmas pressies wink

nooOOOoonki Tue 14-Oct-08 21:36:25

she's your Mum she is trying to help out,
I would be truely fucked off if my DH spoke to my Mum like that

compo Tue 14-Oct-08 21:37:50

I do the same with my mil
she love to shop for the dcs but feels guilt that she hasn't asked me
so when I see her I say things like 'oh we're off to a wedding in a month, I've looked everywhere for a gorgeous outfit'

and hey presto, she appears with one a week later smile works a treat!

NOgirlsallowed Tue 14-Oct-08 21:39:49

Imagine if it was your mil not mother who'd done this. Would you have had your dps reaction? would dp have thought you was over reacting then? iyswim!

hecAteTheirBrains Tue 14-Oct-08 21:40:35

Don't tell them stuff. if he had a cover there was no need for you to tell them he could do with more because it DOES sound like you need help - and what family would see a child cold? If you didn't actually need help, then you could have said "it's in the wash" and left it at that. You didn't need to give them that extra information.

However, they were trying to help, based on their understanding of your situation and your husband is unreasonable to be so aggressive about it. Would he rather they didn't care about you all?

If you want their nose out of your business, then it falls to you to not share your business, or to say things that can be misinterpreted.

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