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To be annoyed that my mum obsessives over trying to make my dd walk??

(55 Posts)
cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 15:43:28

Ok I know she is 15months and should be walking but my mum pushes her too much and when it is clear that dd is bored of playing this game my mum carries on trying to make her walk.

Also the only reason she came over anyway was to use my internet.

nappyaddict Tue 14-Oct-08 15:44:45

Why do you think at 15 months she should be walking? My ds walked at 21 months. My friend's dd walked at 27 months.

potatofactory Tue 14-Oct-08 15:45:15

me too - my dd is 18 months, and she ain't gonna do it before she's ready. My mum says things like 'you've got to stand / walk if you want that' in a slightly-too-strict voice. Gets on my nerves

WigWamBam Tue 14-Oct-08 15:48:53

You're in charge in your own home; tell her to stop. Or whisk your daughter away to do something else when she's tired of your mum trying to make her walk.

If she says "You've got to walk if you want that", say "Silly Grandma, of course you don't have to". You can turn the tables on her very easily if you have a bit of confidence and take control of what's happening.

Sycamoretree Tue 14-Oct-08 15:51:48

I don't know why, but our parents generation seem to think it's a question of Will, rather than a question of physiology - have you tried explain that to her?

I'm posting something rather length below which you can show to her - in particular in mentions at the bottom of the article why it's damaging to try and make them do it, rather than leave them to it, IYSWIM.

"Some parents say that there babies started walking at the age of seven or eight months. While others say that their baby did not start walking until they were a year old. But what if your child is well over a year old and they have not even attempted to start taking a step? Is this something that you should be concerned about? The truth is that very few babies actually start walking by their first birthday. According to many pediatricians it does not mean that you baby is experiencing any type of developmental delays. Most pediatricians will tell you that many babies will start walking at about fourteen months. Just because someone else’s baby may start walking before your child does not mean that their baby is in any way smarter than your child. When your baby starts walking is usually related to their own genetics. When a baby starts walking is something that runs in the family. So if the parents started walking at thirteen or fourteen months than their babies are likely to follow the same pattern.

Also babies that are a more muscular and have sturdy legs will walk a lot earlier than children who are a little skinnier and not as well balanced. It is also related to how well of a crawler they are. For example a baby who doesn’t crawl at all may in some cases walk sooner that the baby is perfectly comfortable crawling. Making sure that your baby has the proper nutrition and a stimulating environment will help them to learn to walk a lot sooner. The one thing that you do not want to do is pressure your child to practice walking several times a day. It is important that you allow your child to learn to walk all on their own. Another suggestion is to get rid of the playpen. A baby who is constantly confined to the playpen where they are not able to maneuver around very freely will not be able to develop the confidence in standing or walking. Putting your baby in a walker will give them a large amount of time being independent and building up their leg strength"

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 15:54:09

The only reason I say should is because she has been standing from an early age and seems steady enough to walk. What I mean is she seems able but as she crawls so well she does not feel she needs to walk.

I am a first time mother and do not know loads of babies so did not know that some babies still do not walk at 27months.

I walked at 9months and so did my brother and I know my sister took longer and my mum always says she was lazy...

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 15:57:56

DD runs up and down my living room with her push along walker and had a baby walker which she was very quick in so I am not worried about her development atall.

Also pushes her pram while we are out shopping and walks anywhere holding my hand, it is just a confidence thing.

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 15:58:44

wigwam - I do always say ok mum that is enough dd seems pretty bored now...

Sycamoretree Tue 14-Oct-08 16:05:09

Yes, I just really posted so you could see the bit about leaving them to it, and that it might prove useful in terms of getting your mum to back off a bit?

DS is almost 14 months and will race around with his walker, but still only managing about 4 staggering steps on his own at the moment, as the mood takes him. He can crawl everywhere quicker, so I can see why it's more appealing!

oops Tue 14-Oct-08 16:09:56

Message withdrawn

mawbroon Tue 14-Oct-08 16:12:05

Oh I am annoyed on your behalf! It's not a competition!!

My ds didn't walk until 20 months and I had to listen to all the nonsense that people spout about it.

By not walking at 20 months, I mean that he didn't even take any steps at all, even with the aid of a walker or by cruising.

Does your mother have other friends with similar aged grandchildren? sounds like there might be an element of competitive grandparenting going on.

I would be inclined to just laugh and tell her she is wasting her time with your dd because she won't do it until she is ready.

In fact, that quickly became my parenting motto for many things about my ds, and I have found it much easier to chill about these things and trust that ds will indeed do them when he is ready. It has worked so far!!

nappyaddict Tue 14-Oct-08 16:12:33

ds was cruising at 12 months however he still did not walk for a further 11 months. he crawled very fast and probably could have walked as in he was able to but lacked confidence.

i know 2 children who walked very late. one was 28 months and had no problems. one was 29 months but there was underlying issues. our paed said they don't worry unless a child is 30 months and not walking.

BouncingTurtleSkulls Tue 14-Oct-08 16:33:13

I didn't start walking until 18mo, because apparently I was "lazy". Then she made me walk by leaving me to scream because she wouldn't carry me to wherever I wanted to go.

I should also add this was typical kind of parenting from her and I have a crap relationship with my mother.

YANBU. Incidentally my ds(9.5mo) walks with his push along walker. She started dropping hints that he should be "encouraged" to walk without it.
Bollocks to that, he'll do it when he is ready.

Mungarra Tue 14-Oct-08 16:37:58

I think you need to be blunt with your mother and tell her to leave your child alone. Grandparents often 'remember' when things happen completely different from reality. After all, it was 30 (or whatever) years ago.

It's not unusual to be not walking at 15 months and she'll do it when she's ready.

LuLuBai Tue 14-Oct-08 16:53:29

Grrrrrr - there is no pleasing anybody is there. Your DD is perfectly normal. I didn't walk until 18 months. I know a 19 month old who is not even crawling, cruising or moving anywhere. And I have met plenty of children who didn't start walking until around the age of 2.

My DD was walking relatively early (11 months) and some old crow (a good friend of my mother's and a mother of 4 herself) told me it was damaging to DD's young and undeveloped legs and that I should discourage her from walking or indeed supporting her own weight. The old bat said it could lead to permanent developmental delays and even dyslexia !?!?!?

Tell your mum to get her own internet access and leave your perfectly normal DD alone!

misshardbroom Tue 14-Oct-08 16:55:55

furthermore (although perhaps not all that relevant...), my ds2 walked independently at 10 months. We have photos of his first birthday of him running across a beach. He's now 2 and a half and do you think he'll walk anywhere? No - 2 minutes away from the car he's climbing my legs saying 'up, up'.

If I sound bitter it's because I've put my back out again carrying him along the road to school.

So early walking does not necessarily = amazing physical prowess.

potatofactory Tue 14-Oct-08 17:01:09

grin love the dyslexia warning - silly old bint.

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 17:07:04

mawbroon - my mum is having a party soon and her sister will be there with her grand son so I was thinking that could be one of the reasons she is trying to force dd to walk.

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 17:08:16

bouncingturle - that sounds very mean leaving you to cry...

cantpickyourfamily Tue 14-Oct-08 17:10:26

also I have been told by a crainal therapist that the longer they crawl the better it is for their spines.

And I walked at 9months and have a very bad back.

SharpMolarBear Tue 14-Oct-08 17:10:38

yanbu but i think a lot of our generation were pushed into things (potty training, sleeping through) as soon as possible whereas now the general advice for most developmental things seems to be do it when they're ready (obviously with encouragement). I like that idea as it allows lazy parenting

BouncingTurtleSkulls Tue 14-Oct-08 17:37:43

She's only nice to me now because she knows if she isn't I'll cut off access to her only grandson.
I walked out of her house during a visit after she defended my brothers who were acting like a pair of racist thugs. I didn't speak to her for 3 months.

SharpMolarBear Tue 14-Oct-08 17:40:58

potatofactory Tue 14-Oct-08 19:10:45

my daughter is a bum-shuffler, so no advantages from teh crawling, unfortunately. The only reason I mind (she's 18 months) is that she doesn't get as much out of being outside in et weather (say) - as shuffling around is pretty much an indoor activity. Still, I can see that she will onyl walk when she's ready, and my sister didn't walk until she was 2, so I'm assuming there's a genetic link.

My mum still goes for the pushy grandparent thing a bit though.

She once referred to my parenting style as 'pandering', which I'm assuming she didn't mean as a .

It's a generational thing


potatofactory Tue 14-Oct-08 19:12:10

WET weather


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