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to wish I could adopt girl

(14 Posts)
susia Mon 13-Oct-08 22:58:02

Hi, my neighbour had a little with her the other day. She is 5 years old. Her mother had had her taken away from her at 6 months because she was an alcolic and she was in foster care for about 3 years - got returned a couple of times and finally this Summer she was returned again. My neighbour had her because the mother had rung her, incoherently drunk and had asked her to take her.

This woman is not a friend of hers but she had to help because SS had said that this was her last chance before she was taken away for good. My neighbour was actually a few days from giving birth and at her wits end with a toddler as well. She didn't know what to do, she didn't want to return her as when she had rung up, the woman had said she didn't care, but she didn't want her to be adopted down to her.

I offered to have her overnight but the woman collected her before she called SS.

The thing is despite being a single parent of a 5 year old, I would have loved another child. I am too old and wouldn't have another deliberately but my son would love a sibling and I would love another too.

It seems so sad for the poor child, that's all that he will probably end up in care sooner or later.

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:03:00

sorry for the spellings, I just think its so sad what she has gone back to

KatieDD Mon 13-Oct-08 23:06:16

Not at all, how about approaching SS to see if you could adopt there will be lots of little girls who need a loving home.

saffiw Mon 13-Oct-08 23:07:08

What about foster care susia, have you thought of doing that.

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:07:38

yes but I wanted to help this one. She would be going back to a home where the mother was an alcoholic and apparently when my neighbour picked up she was sitting in the living room playing with broken glass.

beanieb Mon 13-Oct-08 23:10:50

I hope that woman gets all the help she needs to get her life back on track so her little girl can go home to her. Hopefully Social services will find temporary care for the little girl and hopefully the mother will take whatever help is offered.

How old are you Susia. Is it possible that you coud try for another if you don't want to persue adoption or fostering?

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:11:01

I couldn't cope with foster care, I would get too attached and so would my son. I could adopt or try to but I think it was just this situation that I found so sad. Here I was next door with my son who'd love a sibling, plenty of room and a longing for another child - with my neighbour at her wits end because she was about to go into labour and had a child she couldn't look after because the mother was unable to cope

summerdressesandlacyboots Mon 13-Oct-08 23:11:26

yanbu - you sound lovely. Why not get the ball rolling by finding out about be a foster mother and seeing how it works if you already know the child. Am sure SS would leap at the chance

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:14:02

I couldn't try for another because I am 42 and single. I would have to find a man first! and the odds are pretty stacked against me getting pregnant at 42.

I could try adopting but I think it unlikely I will. It was the irony of the situation I found so sad. Yes I really hope the mother gets help, however it is unlikely she will ask as SS have threatened to take the child away if there are more problems and she will think they will if she asks for help.

The child of course would be much better with the mother if she can cope

blithedance Mon 13-Oct-08 23:22:50

YANBU to feel like that, you are just being a caring mum.

It's rarely black-and-white as to whether a child should be removed from parents or not, people's lives are just too complicated. sad

Are you worried that the child is actually in danger though?

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:28:45

I don't really know enough to know whether she is actually in danger. It was a conversation in the street that lasted a couple of minutes.

susia Mon 13-Oct-08 23:29:29

I don't really know enough to know whether she is actually in danger. It was a conversation in the street that lasted a couple of minutes.

luvaduck Mon 13-Oct-08 23:47:30

could you offer to help out for a few days seeing as the other lady is going to go into labour???

wahwah Tue 14-Oct-08 09:13:12

Your neighbour needs to contact social services. Blind drunk mother and playing with glass-she is in danger.

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