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to suggest to some friends that we don't buy Xmas presents for each other's dc's this year?

(28 Posts)
kt14 Sun 12-Oct-08 14:32:55

and just stick to birthdays, simply because we all have houses already bursting at the seams with toys, there will be a massive influx of presents from relatives anyway, so the kids won't go without, and it will save us all the hassle of buying the stuff, wrapping it and then writing endless thankyou notes on behalf of the dc's.

Am tempted to suggest it to a few good friends, but will I just come across as being tight? The money really isn't the issue, am more than happy to give presents to others, just don't want any back! grin

AIBU? (Our dc's are 3 and 1 by the way. They possess pretty much the entire contents of the ELC catalogue so really are not deprived!)

EnchantedWithEdwardCullen Sun 12-Oct-08 14:34:22

Ive told everyone not to buy us this year as we won't be buying them.

Only 'bits' for the kids from each other.

I hate christams presents.. they kill christmas!

AbbaFan Sun 12-Oct-08 14:42:00


Who can be bothered with all that extra hassle. Suggest it, I am sure they will be as releaved as you to skip it.

JustKeepSwimming Sun 12-Oct-08 14:42:49

kt14 - i was just thinking this this morning
we are godparents to 2 sisters & we have 2 boys (but we didn't go the godparent route - don't know if that should make a difference?) so think we enjoy buying things for the opposite sex but really they all have too many toys.
will suggest it next time i see her.
In fact what i think i'll suggest is we each put £10 per child in their bank accounts and leave it at that.

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake Sun 12-Oct-08 14:44:50

I think it's nice for the children to know that others care but I don't think it has to be a toy etc. Maybe a box of sweets? I hate christmas presents too, I'd prefer to have a party instead and give them all a time that they will remember.

kt14 Sun 12-Oct-08 14:47:40

good idea, justkeepswimming, I was wondering about suggesting premium bonds. My grandma won a fortune on those, she used to buy £5 worth everywhere she went and it really added up over the years. Think you can cash them in so they aren't stuck with them if they need the money either.

BalloonSlayer Sun 12-Oct-08 14:54:47

Unfortunately there is a £100 minimum for premium bonds nowadays.

I asked my friends last year if we could stop Christmas pressies, all said yes, brilliant, except one. She said it was ok if we didn't want to give them but she wanted to get our DCs presents, so we carried on. Rang her just before christmas and she was out - her DH said she was delivering presents to friends, she had more than 100 to deliver !!! Wonderful generosity but WTF does she do with all the stuff she gets in return I wonder.

mazzystartled Sun 12-Oct-08 15:05:16

yanbu on the grounds of finance and the environment

although i'd suggest talking about it. i once got a text from friends saying that instead of buying present for other people's children they would be donating to a children's charity. fine in itself. no prob with either the no gift policy or the charity, but it came across very sanctimoniously.

i think godchildren should be exempt too.

Twiglett Sun 12-Oct-08 15:07:58

I never buy presents for friends' kids nor accept them .. I've made this pretty clear all along from an early age .. Have enough obligation presents with family to want to spend money I don't have on friends too .. I think most people find it a relief ..

Ashantai Sun 12-Oct-08 15:26:11

YANBU. 2 words - Credit Crunch!

AbbeyA Sun 12-Oct-08 15:28:28

I have always done the same as Twiglett-otherwise it gets out of hand.

mazzystartled Sun 12-Oct-08 15:30:03

it really is the only sensible course of action

although my dcs only have 2 living relatives [one doting granny and a distant great uncle] apart from me and dh, so it is nice for them when they get presents from friends, and also for them to be able to choose things for others. i am sure we are not alone in this.

JustKeepSwimming Sun 12-Oct-08 15:40:39

mazzy - that's my concern, most of my friends don't buy presents for my DC and v.v. but feel more 'duty-bound' for godchildren.
not sure, maybe send them a token, like sweets though i'm fussy about what my kids eat sweet-wise.
ho hum.
will be seeing them on the 7th dec (don't live close) for one of the girls birthdays so that gets thrown into the mix too...

AbbeyA Sun 12-Oct-08 15:46:20

Outside immediate family I do godchildren, nephews and nieces, parents and PIL only. We agreed to stop with other adults years ago. The whole thing gets silly and DCs don't need huge amounts of presents.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 12-Oct-08 16:15:23

agree with you

i spend a fortune on my friends children (havent got any of my own yet) but when i do expect some bloody good pressies back grin

think its a good idea to stop buying for friends - sure they will feel the same and tbh it does add up, so sure they will appreicate not having to spend £100's more and just leave it to family

christmas isnt about giving present - its about celebrating jesus's birth

nbee84 Sun 12-Oct-08 16:15:36

Must admit I think I would carry on buying for godchildren. They are not just your friends children - you are their godparent which is almost one of the family. I think if they have too many toys then a payment into a bank account would be a good compromise.

babymt Sun 12-Oct-08 16:17:06

I wanted to suggest this but dh didn't think it would go down well. I know for a fact at least one would ignore me and buy them anyway and I wouldn't do it back then feel really bad!

I also suggested a secret santa thing for family kids coz for example there are 5 (soon to be 6) kids in dh's family so spending £10-£30 each is a helluva lot. And its just going to get worse and worse especially as we're the ones expecting no 6 and other SIL hasn't even started yet and wants 3 kids so thats 9 kids.

Still everyone poo poo'd that too.

I've basically told my family they aren't getting much this year. Its just silly otherwise spending hundreds. I end up putting it on credit cards and taking a whole year to pay it off!

Dottydot Sun 12-Oct-08 16:18:42

We've done that this year - there are a fairly large group of us who all went to school/college together and now have about 17 children between us...

So the agreement is we do birthdays but not Christmas and for the past 3 years we've also done a secret santa for the grown ups, so we only have to buy one present each.


Blondeshavemorefun Sun 12-Oct-08 16:18:44

secret santa is what my friends and I do

we all spend £20 and get one pressie and take names out of hat so know who we are buying for

it means buying one pressie rather than 8

Nappyzoneneedssleep Sun 12-Oct-08 16:19:14

I already do this through mutual agreement with my friends - we do birthdays only and were even knocking some of them on the head.

NayNayAndThriceNay Sun 12-Oct-08 16:30:28

We did this a few years ago, give a donation to charity at christmas only and buy birthday presents. It's much more personal and boy does it take the hassle and stress out of christmas. I would reccomend this to everyone. Go on try it ! You'll thank me xx

rearinganuglyhead Sun 12-Oct-08 17:05:02

we are doing secret santa for the kids with our group of friends for financial and space reasons.

means we have gone from buying 10 presents to 2.

solo Sun 12-Oct-08 17:18:08

I did this from two Christmases ago and it wasn't a problem for my friends and their Dc's. Unfortunately, my Dc's don't have everything, but me speding money on other peoples kids just so mine get a few quid spent on them is not really good use of money. Most people understand this type of arrangement these days, so would people really mind? Surely not.

Elasticwoman Sun 12-Oct-08 17:27:45

Very good idea kt14. If you let friends know that you haven't just singled them out, but have made a blanket policy, there shouldn't be bad feeling.

AbbeyA Sun 12-Oct-08 17:31:53

I find that people are really pleased to stop. I have gone all round the houses trying to broach the subject only to find that they had wanted to say the same thing but thought we might be upset!

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