I understand that some areas of my house are messy, in particular the porch as it is piled high with things that I havnt sorted from when I moved in. But it is my stuff and I would like to go through and decide what to keep and what to throw away. He on the other hand wants to tidy it for me this afternoon. My house is not dirty, I do a thorough clean every week it just gets messy as im usually doing coursework and ds likes to get evrything out and make a mess. It makes me feel like he thinks my house is dirty because he is always offering to clean but I know for a fact he doesnt clean his own house. I dont have time to tidy out the porch myself otherwise i would have done it by now but I dont really want him trawling through my things. AIBU?
YANBU. Perhaps he just wants to help. Tell him nicely though or give him a different task that you feel comfortable with if he's insistent on doing some cleaning. Get him to do the windows or the toilet or something, or ask him if he wants to make your supper. Maybe he's trying to impress you and doesn't see it as an intrusion IYSWIM
I know what you mean... on the one hand he is probabl trying to be helpful and doesn't see it as patronising or whatever, but on the oter hand I can see why it bugs you. If it does bug you, tell him. I HATE it when my mum starts cleaning in my house (because she washes up allwrong and I have to re-do!) but I have been known to get the grump (ie. when baby was born) because no one seemed to come and help out! It's one of those things where you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just tell him
I think he is bored because Im stuck on the phone trying to sort out my student loan. He always gets bored but I have to get boring stuff like washing and housework done weather he is here or not. Sounds a bit mean but having 2 small dcs and doing a uni course means I have to take every oppertunity to get coursework or housework done and i dnt think he gets that. He probs thinks he is being helpful but I hate people doing housework in my house because it wont be done in the way i do it. I know that sounds really ungreatful but im a bit odd.
Oh no i do like him, I would just rather he didnt do my housework. I just meant it more as well that he lives miles away and I would rather we spent time hanging out together, watching a film or doing something than him cleaning my house. I was just worried i might offend him if i said no.