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To want to castrate my ex boyfriend?

(22 Posts)
tessofthedurbervilles Tue 07-Oct-08 12:35:00

At 7 weeks pregnant and facing a tough time he has told me we aren't going to be together anymore regardless of my decision.

At least he is being honest, if not a little bit tactless...

hecAteTheirBrains Tue 07-Oct-08 12:59:38

Well, at least you know.

Tactless is an understatement!

congratulations for you though. grin

What matters now is that he understands that he can choose to not be with you, but he has responsibilities - financial and emotional and practical - with regard to his baby, and that he cannot walk away from being a father.

petitmaman Tue 07-Oct-08 13:08:54

YANBU however, at least he is being honest. a friend of mine was in your pregnant and not sure. dp was very excited and all for it so she went for it and walked out out on her at 39 weeks. at least you know where you stand.

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs Tue 07-Oct-08 13:10:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tessofthedurbervilles Tue 07-Oct-08 13:11:47

Its almost funny.....he said 'I've said sorry to you for getting you pregnant but I haven't once heard you say sorry to me'

My baby will have the best grandparents, aunts and uncles....and between Grandpa and its two uncles it will have no shortage of decent male role models who behave like adults xx

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 07-Oct-08 13:14:32

Message withdrawn

choosyfloosy Tue 07-Oct-08 13:15:27

Tess tbh although I agree it's tactless I can see what he means about saying sorry... it sounds as if this was not a situation that either of you would have chosen at this time, so as it takes two to tango, i don't think an apology is out of order. but dh and i are both big apologisers, we both feel we can move on once the S word has been said. Try it, see how he reacts.

sitdownpleasegeorge Tue 07-Oct-08 13:24:29

Please clarify with him that he doesn't think he is absolving himself from any financial responsibilities by saying "sorry" and no longer being "together" with you.

How old are you both and were you trying for a baby or is it a happy accident ?

lulabellarama Tue 07-Oct-08 13:28:57

^Its almost funny.....he said 'I've said sorry to you for getting you pregnant but I haven't once heard you say sorry to me'^

Oh god that sounds like my sons father. His favourite line was 'You have made a mistake that is going to cost me thousands of pounds, shouldn't you be offering to reverse it?'

He hasn't paid a bloody penny or seen him since he was 3 months old (He's 6 now). You are better off without him.

Congratulations by the way, having a baby on your own might not have been the plan but I can promise you that it's worth the heartache.


tessofthedurbervilles Tue 07-Oct-08 13:37:49

He is 30 and I am 32, it was an accident and both our faults so he can't throw that at me...
I think he is trying everything to make me terminate, we've had tears and tantrums (all his) and I am apparently not supporting him.
I find it hard to believe I slept with this man but my baby will be the positive out of this xx

lulabellarama Tue 07-Oct-08 13:42:12

Tess, if he carries on with that sort of approach then just start refusing his calls. You don't need that sort of stress placed upon you.

Fuck him. (not literally)

tessofthedurbervilles Tue 07-Oct-08 13:50:18

Yes thats what got me in to this mess. I have been offered a new job today (I work for him just to complicate things) so will disappear and wait for him to remerge as father of the year demanding his rights (which he will)
You might all see him dressed as batman on the tower of london shouting his head off...

lulabellarama Tue 07-Oct-08 13:55:24

Cock. If you want to chat to someone who's been in the same situation then email me at my username at

mummy5bellies Tue 07-Oct-08 13:57:51

Congratulaions, Tess, and try not to get too stressed so early on in your pregnancy. You sound v. level-headed and have a fantastic amount of support from your family x

Oh by the way, YANBU to want to castrate him. Should be quite easy with his head in the sand and his arse in the air, eh? smile

pamelat Tue 07-Oct-08 14:03:59


He is an idiot. Am just sorry that he is linked to your life forever now.

kitsmummy Tue 07-Oct-08 14:11:41

Congratulations. I've been in your position before and your baby will be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

tessofthedurbervilles Tue 07-Oct-08 14:15:50

I have to move my stuff out of his house tonight and I am very very tempted to do a massive hormone filled wee wee in his airing cupboard shock

mummy5bellies Tue 07-Oct-08 14:26:45


do it

SpandexIsMyEnemy Tue 07-Oct-08 14:30:13

congratulations - and not that I should encourage it but well a friend of mine cleaned the loo with her H's toothbrush when they were having a bad patch & he moved out (he's since come back thou!) but anyhow.

feel free to come and rant with us on the LP section - you're in good company there.

tessofthedurbervilles Thu 09-Oct-08 12:37:05

He has just come in to the office and demanded the £100 quid I borrowed from him back. I had only borrowed it as couldn't get to a cash point and had totally forgot about was like it was the most important thing in the world to him.
I then got a lecture on the abortion pill being just like the morning after pill so why don't I just go and take it.
Nice man......:-(

notsoseriousanymore Thu 09-Oct-08 12:44:03


Sorry if this sounds very cold, but document as much as you can now. Get him to put into writing as much as possible.

If he demands money back, get him to sign a reciept.

If you intend to keep the baby, then just focus 100% on the future. Nothing else.

Remember that he is financially responsible for the baby but that doesn't automatically entitled him to see a child he wished dead (I'm sorry if that sounds a little OTT, I don't mean it to, as I am very pro choice) but it's worth documenting everything.

And, for what it's worth, the abortion pill is NOTHING like the morning after pill - emotionally you KNOW it's different. You KNOW that there is a tiny little baby in there fighting for survival.

ONLY consider that option if it is 100% what YOU want. It is your body and your child.

PersephoneSnape Thu 09-Oct-08 13:01:40

how long have you worked for him? is it a large company? are their witnesses to his behaviour?

If it's your decision to leave, You might have a case for constructive dismissal. You might be due compensation for being asked to leave or sacked because of your pregnancy. If he wants to play the big bastard, let it be known that you have bottomless levels of reciprocation - whether you actually go through with any threats is neither here nor there, but don'tr let him set the agenda now, because he will try to continue to do so for a very long time.

how awful - losing your job and house in one fell swoop -do keep yourself well, rested and as stress free as possible

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