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To want to punch my neighbours lights out!!!

(27 Posts)
coochybottom Mon 06-Oct-08 13:48:19

I have lived in this house for 10 years with a sort of shared driveway and NEVER had any problems with the neighbours. Until NOW! The old man that has moved in recently has caused a lot of upset[to cut a vey long story short] over this shared access. I have tried to put it all behind us and to be pleasant as I dont like atmosphere. However, every time I see him he is unpleasant and makes my blood boil! His wife is lovely and I dont know how she has tolerated him over the years. I am at the point now where I just want revenge as I feel so upset by it all.angry sad

hecate Mon 06-Oct-08 13:57:34

Well, he moved in knowing it was a shared driveway, didn't he? So it's his tough luck. have you said to him "didn't you know it was a shared driveway when you moved in?"

What does he do/say to you? Is there anyone you can complain to?

PrettyCandles Mon 06-Oct-08 14:00:52

Don't talk to him - talk only to his wife.

Bad neighbours are the pits.

coochybottom Mon 06-Oct-08 14:06:41

An example this morning. He had some contactors in to cut his hedges. As I had to get the DC to school in 10 mins I went out to suggest moving my car to avoiding inconveniencing the workmen and myself. His reply was an off hand "Oh do what you want, they wont be in your way". But its the way he says it. Previous "discussions" have resulted in him saying things like "Oh dont talk to her the silly girl". He is bout 70, I am 42. I know I am oversensitive to this sort of thing and my DH is sympathetic but it is easier for him as he is out of work all day and never encounters him.

countingto10 Mon 06-Oct-08 14:23:42

Feel really sorry for you.  TBH some people are just like this - I had a similar problem with new neighbours 8 yr ago.  In the end the husband's pettiness and attitude led to us moving house and we had been there 12 yrs.  Life was just too short to put up with the behaviour.I know this probably isn't an option so maybe you can get your husband to deal with him when necessary (his age would suggest a chauvanistic attitude as well). Hope it improves.

coochybottom Mon 06-Oct-08 14:31:44

Thanks countingto10. It is terrible that others make you feel so bad you have to move. This is going to sound awful but I am hoping he pops it before I get to the point where I have to move! shock

nametaken Mon 06-Oct-08 15:11:55

We have a shared drive too and although the neighbours are fine, I find it astonishing the number of visitors or tradesmen they have who actually think it's OK to block someone else's car in!

It really is rude.

coochybottom Mon 06-Oct-08 15:48:09

I think if he was more friendly from the start like the previous neighbours none of this would have happened. I am quite prepared to give and take. All he wants to do is take and is gobsmacked that I take offence. Want to go and let his tyres down or something... any suggestions anyone?

coochybottom Tue 07-Oct-08 12:40:12

Does anyone else have any nasty neighbour stories?

nametaken Tue 07-Oct-08 12:41:51

stick around, there's usually 3 or 4 a week.

coochybottom Tue 07-Oct-08 12:44:13

Its good to know I am not alone...

TwoIfBySea Tue 07-Oct-08 12:50:02

I rented a house a few years before dts were born (while newly married to now ex-dh) and there was a guy like that. Because the houses were terraced and old there was one driveway for all of us. Old boy felt that it was his right to park next to his end house even though it meant everyone else had to squeeze by.

One day I had heavy boxes in my car, parked at the side to carry them into the house. When I got back to the car he was there shouting and yelling at me. I didn't say anything, smiled pleasantly and not smugly, got back in my car and parked up where I usually did around the back of the house. Now I had left the car door open, he would have seen me carting those boxes yet instead of waiting to see if I was being a nuisance he thought to jump the gun and make an arse of himself.

And the fact I didn't respond or rise to him nearly gave him a heart attack. (Ex)Dh was for tearing into him when he got back but I pointed out that these people enjoy seeing how upset they make others which was why I reacted as I had. I wasn't bothered by what he said, I knew I was only going to be there as long as it took me to unload, it was his problem.

Again he had a nice wife who apologised later. Felt really sorry for her.

Don't get me started on the neighbours we had when we first moved to our current address though. On one side of the street was a pair of drug dealers and beside us an anti-social family. All gone now and the street is better (and a lot quieter) for it.

TwoIfBySea Tue 07-Oct-08 12:51:37

Oh and I meant to say YANBU and to agree with him. Take the wind out of his sails. When he calls you a silly girl say "yes, I am." Give him nowhere to go with his spite.

Bridie3 Tue 07-Oct-08 12:54:06

I think some of these old men may have the start of dementia. It might explain why they are so strangely unpleasant.

nametaken Tue 07-Oct-08 12:59:35

I was just about to say the same thing Bridie3. Also, I read somewhere about grumpiness in old men being caused by a drop in testosterone as they age.

Bridie3 Tue 07-Oct-08 13:04:35

Yes, I'd read that too. It makes sense when I think back to some of the particularly irrationally grumpy things they sometimes say. Perhaps they can't help it and we shouldn't take it to heart (though I'm bad at taking my own advice).

coochybottom Tue 07-Oct-08 13:09:02

I agree that he is a bully and likes to upset me. I will tell him to hold on to his testosterone patch in future!grin

colacubes Tue 07-Oct-08 13:12:09

YANBU give him a slap!

Ashantai Tue 07-Oct-08 14:21:25

There are 4 houses at the end of our cul-de-sac with 2 parking spaces each. My previous neighbour used to park in ours, and we'd park in hers and we were never territorial about them.

This new bird moves in and straight away parks right down the middle of both spaces as if to say "yeah i only own 1 car but i need both spaces". Tbh the way she parks, she DOES need both spaces, but i digress!

My mate parked in one of her spaces the other day and was just leaving when this bird cames tearing up the road behind a white van. Vans usually come down our road to turn around so most sane people wait till they have done so, before continuing. But no! silly bird drives up his arse, waits till he turns the bend and then parks right in front of my friend blocking her in the space. White van man doesnt see her and promptly reverses into her!

She then jumps out of the car, tearing strips off my friend for parking IN HER SPACE and telling her thats the reason for the accident!shock

The fact that her other space was free and she could have parked there, seems to have escaped her mind!!

AbbaFan Tue 07-Oct-08 14:39:21

I think I would deal with it head-on.

Go round and tell him you do not appreciate him being rude, ie calling you a silly girl, and talk about details regarding the drive.

platypussy Tue 07-Oct-08 14:57:59

I would so love to have no neighbours!

scaryteacher Tue 07-Oct-08 15:30:28

I have an old house in the UK, and the previous owners split the garden and barn off from my house to build a new one on the garden. The houses are separated by a wall and my two patios are bounded by the walls of the barn.

The arsehole down the road turned up at my front door one day and started spouting about how I'd need to move my shed and my oil tank as he wanted to redo the roof of the barn. He said he'd been to look (without my permission) and that when I was going to do it?

My response was that I had no intention of moving anything, and that if it was really necessary he could scaffold around the oil tank and the shed. He said that was of great inconvenience to him, and that he had promised his builder that my shed and oil tank would be moved. I pointed out that that wasn't my problem and that he shouldn't make promises about someone else's property without speaking to them first. He then demanded to speak to dh who he was sure would be more reasonable. I pointed out this was difficult as dh was in Brussels and I had no intention of giving out his contact details to someone I don't know. I said I might send dh down to discuss this when he was next home, and I wasn't forthcoming on when that was.

A couple of days later, I look up from the sink to find neighbour and builder disappearing down the side of the house without asking first. Dh not amused, and refused permission for anything to be moved, pointing out that if one can scaffold around the conning tower of a submarine, then surely an oil tank and a shed isn't a problem.

The work (or not as it turns out) commences without scaffolding, just ladders left lying on the barn roof, and as I'm in the study at the rear of the house late one night (backs onto the patio), I think there's a burglar or a prowler, as there is someone climbing over a ladder from the arsehole's garden into my patio. I went and looked the next morning to find that the arsehole had put a ladder against his side of the wall and on my side, and was climbing over, rather than walking up the hill and around the side of my house. The ladder on my side disappeared pdq.

The bugger hassled my first lot of tenants, after I moved to Brussels and I was on the point of sending solicitors letters
when my very scary managing agent went to see him and explained in words of one syllable that she has to be contacted before he tries to anything on my ground near his barn. I don't mind reasonable access, but he has taken the piss and been offensive. How not be included in the life of a Cornish village!

slug Tue 07-Oct-08 16:15:23

I find pointing out to old men that:

"I am NOT a girl, I am a woman, I have been MENSTRUATING for the past 20 years!!!"

Tends to make thm so embarassed that they back off grin

coochybottom Tue 07-Oct-08 16:31:50

grin grin Good One!!

MadameCastafiore Tue 07-Oct-08 16:34:17

My uncle used to live next to an old man who used to chuck rolled up balls of his own shit through their fanlight as he was opposed to them doing a loft conversion!!

Beat that!!!

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