I'm really not sure if I am being a little PFB or reasonable? My Dad likes a drink, in fact every time I see him, he doesn't live near me, we end up in the pub or goes on his own if we don't want to go. I think he has a problem but he says he doesn't as it is only a few pints and helps him unwind!
Anyway he came round the other day with his wife after a drink and DD was still up. He went to hold DD and said 'no' has he had had a drink. I then had an arguement with his wife as she thinks I am being silly as he was not 'drunk' and we were all around anyway. She also pointed out that she had had a drink so was she not allowed to hold my DD! and that I would have a problem at Xmas if anyone who had had a drink couldn't hold her!
My response is that if I think some one has had too much then I ANBU and if people decide to drink like that then that is their chioce not to hold DD.
Mylittlebubble - I know exactly what you mean, my dad's an alcoholic and I used to whince every time he came near dd (even if he claimed to be sober.) I was too scared to say anything to him, and feel really bad about it in hindsight. I think you done good
Sorry mylittlebubble, just seen your last post; I think you're right to take every situation as it arises. If someone was a leetle bit drunk, but I care about their feelings and don't want to offend, I suppose I would just make sure they are sitting down safely on the sofa, then let them have a hold. Then sit down beside them and watch like a hawk If they were hammered though, I'd make excuses and take lo off into another room (needs changing/sleep/bath etc). If they still pushed it, I would just have to be blunt and say "No, you're too drunk".
On a more positive note, I think it's nice that your dad clearly adores your DD
YANBU- I think that the excuse of changing/ feeding is the least hurtful way to do it. My DF was an alcoholic and was not allowed to have my LO's if he had been drinking. At all. If there is an alcohol problem then 1 or 2 could just be topping up a previous session. Why risk it? Stick to your guns but it is probably worth talking to him and the SM to explain your concerns. They may be offended but it may nip something in the bud that could become more serious. Give it a shot