my stroppy aunt -

[familyproblems]

Hi I have a really stroppy aunt. She is 73 and has never married or had children and is very wealthy.

At times she can be very generous and kind but other times she is really rude.

When my son was a baby, I had various mugs done with his photo on them, some with me and him, some him on his own and one with my mum and him on it for my aunt as she is so close to my mum. When I gave it to her she said 'I don't want that one, (the one with my mum and my son) as everyone'll think she's the one bringing him up, mary (her other sister) does anyway'. I am a single parent and my mum had helped me a bit but theres no way she was bringing my son up. I visit my Mum maybe twice a month for lunch etc but no more.

I was really hurt by the comment especially as I was giving her a gift which she was really rude about.

She can't stand my Dad (who admittedly can be quite selfish) but openly said to me 'I don't like him and never have and never will'.

She called me a silly little girl (I'm 42!)when I stood up for him once when she humiliated him at the dinner table.

She is kind and generous when you do things her way, but awful if you don't and gets into terrible sulks if you say the wrong thing.

At the moment she is in a strop with me because there was a terrible incident where someone recently got shot in her area in London. He was shot by someone black. Her cleaner is black and when her cleaner's son was walking around the area he was made by the police to produce ID and say what he was doing in the area. I think this is awful as he is entirely innocent, just the wrong colour in a posh area and shouldn't have to prove himself in this way.

[familyproblems]

anyway, do I stand up for myself or bow down to her like everyone has always done?

[familyproblems]

anyone?

[BigBadMousey]

IME people that age are unlikely to change their ways.

Probably best try to find a way to cope with her behaviour than try and change it.

[ScareyBitchFeast]

are you being unreasonable about what? that you think she is stroppy.
is she a spinster?
you can't teach old dogs new tricks, for starters. i.e. she aint gonna change. take her with a bucket of salt

[kiddiz]

I think as she's 73 she's unlikely to change no matter what you do. I'm all for choosing one's battles and only you know how likely you are to win one with her and whether it would be worth it in the long run anyway. My fil has done some horrible things over the years and dh has never been able to let them go but fil is still a cantakerous old thing anyway!!!

[chipmonkey]

Sorry, but about her cleaner's son... Does she think it's OK that he was stopped and questioned? Is that why you're annoyed?

But you know, there is one of these aunts in every family, don't you?

[beanieb]

Is she saying that Mary thinks yor mum is bringing up your child? I'd be pissed off with Mary too.

[lolfish1]

We've all got one of these in the family! Just suck it up and be relieved that you get to be the one with a lovely family who you obviously care about and are not alone and bitter. In fact maybe that's why and how she's ended up that way!

You can't change her so focus on the good things in your life and try to tune her out like white (supremacist) noise!

[nametaken]

Can't you just avoid her

Or are you hoping she'll remember you in her will - you did say she was wealthy but I don't understand how that's relevant.

[cornsilk]

I don't understand the bit about the cleaner's son. Why is she in a strop with you about it?

[Mulanmum]

If I had a spinster aunt who was wealthy I would be very nice to her

[Seabright]

Agree with Mulanmum. I have a uncle a bit like this. I nod, smile and hope he's remember me in his will.

[beanieb]

I really want to know the answer to my question about Mary. Was this a troll?