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to want to slap the doctor for her annoying comment in the hospital

(60 Posts)
chipsandtart Sun 05-Oct-08 21:11:00

took dd1 to the hospital drop in today cos she has a supisious rash and has been poorly.

dd is 21 months and the doctor asked if i had any other children and i said i had two ds's aged 4 and 10 weeks. she replied 'oh you have a 10 week old and a 20 month old you poor thing'

i was so pissed off i feel like the luckiest women in the world having my gorgeous children even with the small age gap and its not that much hard work
why is everyone so negative when you have 3 kids esp when you preg

savetheplanetdontiron Sun 05-Oct-08 21:13:57

YABU - she was probably trying to be nice and human which is a skill to be cultivated in any member of the medical profession. Some doctors can be very arrogant. Maybe she had her kids close together too and remembers it was hard work. Mine are 2 years apart and I am totally gut-wrenchingly knackered 99.9% of the time even though I love them more than anything in the world

noonki Sun 05-Oct-08 21:14:04

YABU

I don't think that was unfair she was trying to be sympathetic - however lucky you must feel it is also loads of work!

exasperatedmummy Sun 05-Oct-08 21:20:03

i have been known to say "bugger me, thats a close age gap, was it an accident" and "you must be mad" along with "i dont know how the hell you cope". Im not known for my tact but none of those comments are meant to be patronising just recognising that having children so close together is fecking hard work. Sometimes though i wonder if that is offset by having them play together - i couldnt do it, so hats off to you. I think you ARE lucky btw, i have a 15YEAR gap between mine and that was harder than i expected for other reasons.

MsSparkle Sun 05-Oct-08 21:21:56

YANBU. What a thing to say! She didn't sound sympathetic to me, she sounded rude and like you having 3 children with a small age gap was a bad thing.

mytetherisending Sun 05-Oct-08 21:22:03

YABVU she was just trying to acknowledge that it can be hard work having 2 very small children, which it can be. Get a grip!hmm

chipsandtart Sun 05-Oct-08 21:25:22

i see what you are saying, i just get fed up with people being so negative all the time i guess, right from when i told people i was pregnant.

MsSparkle Sun 05-Oct-08 21:30:17

Then there's the other end of the stick which is when your dc gets to a certain age, people start saying the annoying "So when are you going to have another one then," comments.angry

People just don't know when to keep their gob shutwink

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Sun 05-Oct-08 21:35:54

EMPATHY

YABU - so there!

PumpkinPatty Sun 05-Oct-08 21:49:38

I think she probably meant well. She was obviously seeing it from her POV - she would probably find it difficult with two very young children.

I agree with you though you are v lucky

Hope your DD is feeling better soon.

onthepier Sun 05-Oct-08 21:52:01

YANBU, Chipsandtart, her comment does sound negative.

I remember several years ago now, being in town with my friend + running into a lady we used to work with who'd recently given birth to twins. She had them with her in the pram + at the exact moment I congratulated her, my friend said, "I feel so sorry for you!!"

The lady's mouth dropped, she was looking pretty good considering she only gave birth 4 weeks before, + was proudly pushing along her gorgeous newborns! People really should think before they say things.

controlfreakinfreaky Sun 05-Oct-08 21:55:15

oh yes. give her a slap why dont you. she definitely deserves it. what a cow. hmm

did she help your dd or did you storm of due to her extreme rudeness?

ScottishMummy Sun 05-Oct-08 22:01:07

an innocuous comment acknowledging your commitments has been taken out of context.over reaction methinks

mygod she showed an interest in your social circumstances, didn't just stick rigidly to a set of symptoms.

and you are unhappy?

want to slap her?
aye go on kick her too, she deserves it, heh

anyways enough of that.is your lo okay?how did this resolve.you must have been v worried

congratulations on your pg btw

BigBadMousey Sun 05-Oct-08 22:14:05

YABU - god knows I was fed up with the comments when I was pg with DC3 - everyone has an opinion and they're going to tell you whether you want to hear it or not. I think in this case she was probably trying to be kind and acknowledging that, at that particular moment, things may have been hard for you (worrying about DD1 and having a young baby too). I think most people do find it quite hard work.

That said you were probably worried about your DD1 and thus can be excused for any over-reaction.

chipmonkey Sun 05-Oct-08 23:13:36

She probably just meant that she felt sorry for you with a sick dd and 2 very small children. I think YABU but I can see why if you've been getting negative comments from the start.

ScareyBitchFeast Sun 05-Oct-08 23:18:10

did the doctor even have children, or was she very young and childfree - ? <<i dont spose you know>>

at least she was making conversation, and she was being sympathetic! what more do you want?

macdoodle Sun 05-Oct-08 23:39:18

Wow what a cow hmm hmm

bebespain Mon 06-Oct-08 08:10:32

Annoying comment? Blimey!

Like SBF says at least she was making conversation and being sympathetic.

You should try the Doctors in Spain. Last time I had the displeasure of seeing one I was asked what was wrong with my face (high-colouring) and that I should get that checked out shock I wouldn´t mind but I was there for a check-up after a lung infection I had had.

Give me UK doctors any day of the week wink

Libra1975 Mon 06-Oct-08 08:19:17

Overreaction from OP! are you sure you are getting enough sleep with 2 children under 2?

belgo Mon 06-Oct-08 08:23:44

that was my thought, overraction due to sleep deprivation, I echo what the doctor says, 'poor you chipsandtart'grin

princessglitter Mon 06-Oct-08 08:39:49

I don't think that was an bad thing to say tbh.

Although exasperated mummy, I have 2 dds 19 monthhs apart and if you asked me if dd2 was an accident I would be angry

2point4kids Mon 06-Oct-08 08:48:34

She probably meant you por thing having a poorly lo as well as others to look after, including a demanding newborn.
She was trying to be sympathetic.

Imagine if you were feeling run down, exhausted, woried about your poorly toddler and you turned up at the hospital t have the Dr say 'Oh you must feel so lucky'! Most people would find that odd!

pickledparsnips Mon 06-Oct-08 09:18:08

you poor thing...I've heard worse! I think you're being over sensitive. More importantly is your LO ok and did she medically treat you correctly??!

sprogger Mon 06-Oct-08 09:22:49

Good lord, you seem to be looking for a bit of a fight. Speaking as someone with a 20 month gap between DCs I would find someone who commented on what hard work it is at the beginning to be SYMPATHETIC and UNDERSTANDING.

MaryAnnSingleton Mon 06-Oct-08 09:24:12

tsk, she was only being empathetic - don't be so sensitive smile

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