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to think this is unacceptable and want to do something

(20 Posts)
suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:18:12

ok, someone I know takes a lot of drugs she has four children and is a single parent so I know life is hard. But she takes, speed, coke, pills and ketamine. She used to take heroin but was on a methodone programme when she was pregnant and no longer takes that.

But when she takes these drugs at least every weekend, she sleeps all day the next day and leaves her oldest - 15 to look after the youngest 9 and 5.

even after going on a bender - she drinks cider and smokes spliffs to come down the next day.

FabioAsGoodAsItGets Sun 05-Oct-08 20:18:54

YANBU obviously.

What are you going to do?

expatinscotland Sun 05-Oct-08 20:19:41

YANBU

expatinscotland Sun 05-Oct-08 20:19:42

YANBU

noonki Sun 05-Oct-08 20:20:00

YANBU poor 15 year old sad

donnie Sun 05-Oct-08 20:20:58

not unreasonable at all. What will you do though? and where does she get the money for all the drugs?

ShinyPinkShoes Sun 05-Oct-08 20:21:04

How awful

Please call social services.

suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:25:28

she gets the money from selling weed. Also the drugs she takes are cheap apart from the coke.

I don't know what to do. Someone I know already called SS and they called on her but obviously thought she was ok as they didn't do anymore about it.

I have spoken to her, said it was ok in moderation but she was taking things to an excess. I said that because there is no way she would stop altogether.

ScareyBitchFeast Sun 05-Oct-08 20:26:30

the children are surely neglected.
report again

suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:27:27

I feel it would be stirring things up though in that the outcome could be that the children are taken away from her and they adore her.

noonki Sun 05-Oct-08 20:32:27

It would be very unusal for SS to take the children away in these circumstances, but maybe they could shake her up a bit to realise that what she is doing is not acceptable.

Do you know her family, are they aware of the situation?

suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:33:25

she also drinks and drives sometimes - certainly takes drugs and drives. She also has terrible moods and gets ranting angry. Sometimes she is lovely, other times awful. She is really good friends with someone who has a major heroin habit and I worry she is being influenced by her.

onager Sun 05-Oct-08 20:33:48

It's a long way from ideal, but 15 is old enough to look after kids one day a week and splitting them up could be much worse. I guess the social services thought so too.

It is a shame though

suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:34:27

her family is probably part of the cause of the problem. Her mother won't speak to her because of the mess and is not supportive and she has no other close family.

donnie Sun 05-Oct-08 20:34:38

ok this may sound awful but it is possible that it would be in the childrens' best interests to be removed - maybe temporarily- from her care. I think if I was in your position I would report her: leave it to the professionals to make the decisions - that's what they are there for. A junkie is no good to anyone, least of all her own children, if she is neglecting them.

suzannejarv Sun 05-Oct-08 20:38:02

she is in a terrible mood with me at the moment though, she hasn't spoken to me for weeks because she called a friend of mine a snob and I stood up for my friend. So she might suspect it was me.

chuggabopps Sun 05-Oct-08 20:45:32

have you actually asked her if she would appreciate help with child care? or any of her other issues?

chuggabopps Sun 05-Oct-08 20:57:14

I only ask because it sounds rather like you know some very personal information about her and are effectively talking about her problems behind her back on here, judgy judgy like- so no wonder she may not be speaking to you...?

Jackstini Sun 05-Oct-08 21:02:54

Does she drink/do drugs and drive with the kids in the car? If so I think I would have to say something - just in case she had an accident where something awful happened and I hadn't done anything when I could.

exasperatedmummy Sun 05-Oct-08 21:08:05

being a single parent is no excuse for taking drugs. She sounds seriously screwed up and in need of help to me. How to help people like this though? That, is something i don't have the answer to. I mean, first instinct to me is, Well - no one forces her to snort the shit or whatever these junkies do. But, how did she get to this stage in her life? Shit happens and we cope in different ways.

Not sure what i would do if i were you. Are there any organisations locally that can help with drug addictions? You say the children adore this woman? So i would assume then, that despite her dispicable habits she can't be all bad. Are there times when she is straight where she would listen to you, and maybe go with you to one of thse organisations to help her kick the habit. The only thing that doesn't sit well with me is the dealing, that reduces my sympathy for her quite a bit.

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