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To not go to 'friends' DS's christening today???

(11 Posts)
glaskhamhasoneintheoven Sun 05-Oct-08 08:55:48

Long story, short version as follows:

group of about 8 of us all have DC's around the same age, all met at a baby massage group and got on great. Used to meet up twice a week for a chat and something to do, when the kids got older it was good for them to meet up and play.

Since i moved 10 miles away only 2/3 of them ever make an effort to meet up with me every couple of months etc.

One of the ones i dont speak to so much any more has invited me to her DS's christening today (well she invited me through facebook last week)....

The problem is i normally go out of my way to make their DC's birthday parties every year with lovely gifts, and always end up feelign 'left out' as the handful of them that dont speak to me often just chat amongst themselves... And none of them ever make DS's Birthday parties, or even my 2's Christening last year...

AIBU to pull out of going at last min?? She's not ordered extra catering esspecially for us, when she invited me she said 'there'll be plenty of food so you're more than welcome' so i dont feel bad about that...

also I hadn't told DC's we might have been going so they aren't exited to see their friends... I just can't decide... one one hand it'd be nice to get out as we wont get out mon-fri as DS at nursery.... but i dont want to feel like a sore thumb in the corner!!

mumto2andnomore Sun 05-Oct-08 09:00:12

If she only invited you through facebook last week I wouldnt feel bad about going if you dont want to.
What else would you do today though, might be better than sitting at home if you think your children would enjoy it ?

Mammina Sun 05-Oct-08 09:04:47

Maybe by inviting you she's being nice and trying to include you. By not going you give her more of a reason not to make the effort in the future...? However agree that it is rude of them to not include you in conversations - is this girl one of them?

glaskhamhasoneintheoven Sun 05-Oct-08 09:04:51

If i didn't go it'd probs be a day of arts and crafts round the dining table with the DC's... going would mean ironing DD's party dress and popping to my mums to straighten my hair and then a 25-30min bus ride... Oh i'm so indecisive!! I'll probs decide an hour before it starts that i'll go and rush about like a loon!!

EnchantedWithEdwardCullen Sun 05-Oct-08 09:04:52

If I had recieved an invitation through the post a month ago with a little letter asking how Im doing with the move etc ... I would go.

Facebook... a week before?

Bugger 'er.

giraffescantdancethetango Sun 05-Oct-08 09:04:59

I wouldnt go, id find something else fun to do

Chandra Sun 05-Oct-08 09:05:13

It's ok, just tell him that one of the children is feeling unwell, it's ok.

I had a friend who had some issues with me, and as we had talk the previous week, I was very happy to see her at church for DS christening. At the end of the mass her then husband came to us with a bad face, handed me a gift and said that she would'n come to talk to us. With her selfish attitude of bringing her own insecurities to some special time with us not only she almost managed to ruin the day, but she managed to exclude herself further from the group.

I know that you wouldn't do something like that, but if you are not really ready to celebrate better not to show up.

glaskhamhasoneintheoven Sun 05-Oct-08 09:06:39

I honestly dont think they intensionally leave me out, they are all still really nice, but because they all live close and see each other often they always chat together about things i don't know about, ie things they did last week, what they are doing the week after...

Mammina Sun 05-Oct-08 09:09:18

sorry I missed the bit about the facebook invitation - I wouldn't bother

wahwah Sun 05-Oct-08 09:18:18

I would go and show my face and remind them why they would want to see me again. At the very least it's free food and entertainment on a crappy wet day.

Heifer Sun 05-Oct-08 09:38:50

I wouldn't go, as an invitation through facebook a week ago is not a proper invitation to me.

I would say that one of the children was feeling unwell but if you want to keep the friendship going then arrange to meet up another time.

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