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to think I am being treated differently for formula feeding?

(86 Posts)
discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:32:21

Name changed, don't want any of them to recognise me.

Of my NCT groups of 6 I am the only one who is formula feeding. I get on ok with most of the NCT girls but there is one who is a bit funny with me.

Anyway, we were at her house and two of the other babies were sick and it went on her sofa. "Oh don't worry my DS does that all the time" so they just wiped it with a muslin.

Anyway, my DS was sick and I said sorry and she made a huge fuss about it - went to get a bowl of water and some spray and a cloth to get it out and just looked really pissed off.

I really feel as though I am being singled out as DS is ff. AIBU?

NotCod Wed 01-Oct-08 20:32:37

you are

lulumama Wed 01-Oct-08 20:33:43

maybe formula stains more than breastmilk?

dunno, i formula fed

she might just not like you anyway

electra Wed 01-Oct-08 20:34:23

No, I don't think you are. Mother and baby groups can be soooo cliquey - it's rather pathetic! If they make you feel unwelcome I doubt you are imagining it.

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:34:34

I don't think she does. She made a big fuss about me having an epidural but my DS was almost twice as heavy as hers!

lulumama Wed 01-Oct-08 20:35:19

so, maybe it is time for a parting of the ways?

you are not obliged to like people or stay friends with them, just becsue you have babies the smae age

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:36:18

I know, but I like the rest of the group. She really dominates it unfortunately but I don't want to give it all up because of her.

pattymc Wed 01-Oct-08 20:37:42

just ignore her

Winebeforepearls Wed 01-Oct-08 20:38:04

I'm less polite than lulumama:

drop her and move on already grin

lulumama Wed 01-Oct-08 20:39:01

i have used up my nasty quota on the troll outing threads today !

can you meet with some of the other mums seperately?

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:40:52

I dunno. Oh this is awful, they are the only people I know with babies and I have found the group really helpful.

Was hoping I was BU and there would be a reason for it. Now I just feel bullied by her sad sad

I can't cope with this..

doggiesayswoof Wed 01-Oct-08 20:41:37

I don't think it's the ff - she has it in for you for some reason. I'd phone some of the others and meet up with them (individually?) without her.

doggiesayswoof Wed 01-Oct-08 20:42:30

You don't need to cope with it.

Avoid her.

electra Wed 01-Oct-08 20:43:52

'made a big fuss about me having an epidural'

does this woman actually have a life?? I would not be spending any time with someone like that.

lulumama Wed 01-Oct-08 20:43:58

do as doggieSW says

meet the ones you do like

or ask her outright if she has a problem? she iwll be caught on the back foot and be all nice to you from now on! grin

ohdearwhatamess Wed 01-Oct-08 20:46:14

She sounds dreadful. I'd have nothing to do with her.

Can you some of the nicer ones round to your house instead.

doggiesayswoof Wed 01-Oct-08 20:47:56

I had an epidural with dd and I am ff my ds

Meet me - I won't be nasty to you! (if you are in Glasgow that is)

MarlaSinger Wed 01-Oct-08 20:48:19

Twice as heavy? What weights?

When you say making a big fuss, what do you mean exactly? What did she say?

How did the others react when she a) acted like your baby's sick was acid and b) told you off for pain relief?

lisad123 Wed 01-Oct-08 20:49:26

invite the others to yours for coffee and dont ask her. If she asks, tell her you feel she doesnt like you and so didnt think she'd want to come.

We are always a little more sensitive just after babies and i have a friend who is like this but i know its just her way.
enjoy your baby and dont worry about some stuck up cow you hardly know

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:52:11

Her baby was 4 weeks early and weighed 5 pounds - "two pushes and he was out".

Mine was 9 pounds 12 and had to be wrenched out of me sad

She just says things like "I don't understand why so many people go for epidurals - I would hate to not know what it feels like to give birth". But she says it when I am there, which is either deliberately mean or just really tactless.

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:52:48

thanks doggiesays smile (am in Sussex though).

lulumama Wed 01-Oct-08 20:53:08

can you tell her that actually, she is being really insensitive and that you dn;t appreciate her tone?

discriminatedagainst Wed 01-Oct-08 20:54:11

p'raps Lulu. I guess I just don't want to create a division and have the others all be on her side.

MarlaSinger Wed 01-Oct-08 20:54:15

She is a knob

but I'm more interested in how the others react

because if no one says 'well, poncey bitch, some people choose to have an epidural because they're tired and etc etc' then they are all knobs too

I went out with an NCT group a few times, my face ached after for ages after with all the pretending to smile

Where do you live, have you tried mumsnet local, or the post-natal threads?

dinny Wed 01-Oct-08 20:54:23

what a stupid smug cow, ignore her

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