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to expect to wak to my local shop without being sexually abused by some old t*sser?

(183 Posts)
itbird Tue 30-Sep-08 19:02:37

just now was walking along with my ds 4 and this old git gets out of his van and looks me up and down and says 'nice titties girl' i was dumbfounded - bearing in mind i was wearing a jacket and a scarf around my neck and my 'titties' were not visible unless he was wearing x-ray specs of course . clocked the name of the firm on the van and will be calling them in the morning to complain!!! how rude of him to make me embarrassed like that - i went a deep shade of red with the shock of it as i do have a thing about my chest in so much i have spent my entire life sort of hiding them as they are big in realtion to the rest of my body and i feel so concious of them - horrible pervy old git !!

ScaredOfEverything Tue 30-Sep-08 19:04:15

definitely call and grass him up! disgusting old codger

Carmenere Tue 30-Sep-08 19:05:22

Ah now the correct reaction there is 'what an odd thing to say when you are in your work vehicle as I will be ringing to complain about you'

Which is exactly what I said when some neanderthal mooned at me outside the pub whilst wearing his work clothes with the company name on it. Oh did he apologisegrin

MrsBadger Tue 30-Sep-08 19:06:34

I think you might mean 'harrassed' not 'abused', you know hmm

do ring the firm though

itbird Tue 30-Sep-08 19:09:08

am out of practice not having being sexually harassed in a long time. normally am quite quick witted - just didnt expect it, he was watching me as i was reading the rear of his van so maybe he regretted it as i didnt even make eye contact with him, well its his problem now sad old f*er

itbird Tue 30-Sep-08 19:11:05

mrsbadger - in my world referring to appendages of a total stranger is abuse, what is the definition of harassment ?

Carmenere Tue 30-Sep-08 19:13:10

In fairness itbird, sexual abuse is a serious thing, with damaging consequences and many mners have suffered from it. what happened to you, and it sounded very unpleasant, was harassment.

TheCrackFox Tue 30-Sep-08 19:21:08

I would definetly phone up and complain about him.

Grumpalina Tue 30-Sep-08 19:21:42

It's not abuse by any definition. If he'd said, 'awful titties girl' that would be abusive and as Carmnere states not sexual abuse just rude and unpleasant behaviour (harrassmnet needs to be more than one incident).

itbird Tue 30-Sep-08 19:21:56

The consequence of his attitude and the rest thatg i been subject to through the years has me walking around hiding my body because of comments like his - you have no right to tell me how i felt - this is not a police station or a court of law if i want to call it abuse i will - i am not talking about anyone else but me, if you or anyone else has been sexually abused which can be physical and mental abuse have been offended from what i have called this incident, well i dont honestly give a flying fig.I am not getting in to a argument with a nameless faceless self appointed cyber cop !!!angry

Carmenere Tue 30-Sep-08 19:23:58

Oh now stop being over dramatic. He is an old perv and he certainly deserves your wrath but no one on here does. You are wrong. He did NOT abuse you and insisting that he did trivialises the horror that is sexual abuse.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 30-Sep-08 19:29:39

Just a thought, but as this happened in the early evening (and outside of "normal" working hours) I'm not sure his employers would be all that interested. And what if it's his van, his own business? What will you do if he laughs at you in the morning? (Remember to hide your phone number before you call.)

I can see you're distressed, OP, but agree this wasn't sexual abuse.

lucyellensmum1 Tue 30-Sep-08 19:30:42

I used to get this all the time - "phwoooaarrr, you don't get many of them to the pound" (once said by the carnival commentator in front of loads of people when i was in the carnival one year - luckily for him i knew he was a fecking perv wink) I was "blessed" i suppose with enormous boobies, but i pretty much flouted them so comments to be fair, were expected and i rather enjoyed it. That is the difference though, i did enjoy the attention but the OP doesn't. Im not sure abuse is technically the right term but it is certainly out of order and upsetting for the OP and something she clearly feels strongly about so to question the semantics is a bit pointless really. No one really has the right to make another person feel uncomfortable about themselves.

bloomingfedup Tue 30-Sep-08 19:31:13

OMGangry How dare you say that you were sexually abused? You were perved at not groped, raped, kidnapped. gety over yourselfangry

janeite Tue 30-Sep-08 19:34:00

Itbird: you may not have intended to be unreasonable in your first post but are really being so now. Yes, it was horrible and he's a nasty old git but being rude to people on here won't make it any better.

lucyellensmum1 Tue 30-Sep-08 19:34:40

C'mon girls, its only a poor choice of words FFS, cut the OP some slack

onager Tue 30-Sep-08 19:36:14

Not to mention that he probably thought it was a compliment.
How old was he? 90? I didn't think people talked like that any more.

bloomingfedup Tue 30-Sep-08 19:37:10

Message withdrawn

lucyellensmum1 Tue 30-Sep-08 19:38:46

" am deeply offended that the OP would say this was abuse. Thoses people who have actually been abused know hat abuse is. "


bloomingfedup Tue 30-Sep-08 19:40:36

Message withdrawn

bythepowerofgreyskull Tue 30-Sep-08 19:42:12

agree with MrsBadger

nickytwotimes Tue 30-Sep-08 19:43:49

It was harassment. It was horribly unpleasant and unacceptable and most definitely should be reported, but is not abuse.

lucyellensmum1 Tue 30-Sep-08 19:45:58

There is legislation in place to prevent the sort of leery behaviour that the OP describes on building sites. It is NOT taken lightly in the eyes of the law. This is because whilst it is trivial to some, even most women, for others it is offensive and upsetting. I think you are being a little unfair, the OP clearly has some sort of issues about her body and what the old git said upset her. It wasn't abuse in the strictest sense of the word, but if we want to be pedantic about it, there is such a term as verbal abuse. She was i suppose, verbally abused, in a sexual manner. If it had been me he said it too, i would have been quite chuffed, and if i were feeling brazen i might have embarrased him by pulling my top down and saying "here, get a better look you old perv" but thats me and i rather like my breasts, the OP clearly feels self concious about hers. I don't think it makes her stupid.

bloomingfedup Tue 30-Sep-08 19:48:37

Message withdrawn

muggglewump Tue 30-Sep-08 19:50:51

Wasn't it just a guy being a bit sleezy, no harm done?
Perhaps it's just me but I'd have thought "eww yuck" and carried on with my day.

I certainly don't think it's abuse and I wouldn't be offended enough to report it.

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