Ok, to set the scene - DS is 8 weeks old, been mixed feeding him on Dr's advice (don't ask - big mistake) for 6 weeks.
DH has been gradually getting on my wick with the way we share caring for DS. I'm sure this is a bit of an old chestnut but this weekend he really upset me and I'm still pissed off so thought I should tell him really. I can't face an argument though, I really can't. So I'm going to put it in a letter. Please can you tell me if any of these points are unreasonable as I just want to get to the stage where things are fair.
Dear DH,
I'm afraid I'm still a little bit upset with you after Friday night. I know we hadn't made an arrangement long in advance that you would get up with DS the first time he woke that night. I understand now that you were confused about the arrangement we made but instead of arguing with me about it while the baby lay crying I don't think it would have taken much for you to recognise that I could have done with the break and just gone and fed him.
I know you work full time but I try my very hardest not to disturb you when he wakes in the night, and I don't ask you to do anything for him in the night. For the first time in 8 weeks I thought I had a chance to sleep through while you fed him but you refused and started an argument.
I understand that you are finding new fatherhood hard. I find it hard being a parent as well but I have to be honest with you - the hardest parts for me have been pregnancy, childbirth, getting up in the night and breastfeeding. I accept that you've tried to support me through these things, and that watching the birth was understandably distressing.
However, you don't seem to acknowledge that
these are things that I have to deal with alongside the general day to day care of our child. I amsick of arguing the toss with you over who's turn it is to change a nappy.
I'm fed up of you claiming that it's not your turn to give him a bottle as you gave him one 6 hours ago despite the fact that I've been breastfeeding him for 3 hours in the interrim.
You seem to be determined to split the load down the middle without acknowledging the many hours a day I spend feeding him and the broken nights that I spend with him.
This probably doesn't sound like much to me you but it is making me feel as though I am increasingly on my own.
I do appreciate the other things you do, especially the cooking. But please could you try to be more supportive and involved.
Sorry, v long...
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Please help me with this letter to DH and tell me if any of these points are unreasonable
77 replies
totallypeedoff · 29/09/2008 09:45
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
TheHedgeWitch ·
29/09/2008 10:38
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.