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To expect people to make their own way home from a night out

(40 Posts)
hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 15:14:10

OK i'm feeling a bit annoyed about this.

Without asking me, friends assume I will drive an extra 15/20 miles out of my way to drop them off after a night out, then have a go at me about "how could I possibly expect them to make their own way back at that time of night/in the dark" etc etc. Grown women by the way, not teenagers.

I picked them up from a station on en route to where we were going and had planned to drop them back there afterwards.

I very rarely drink alcohol(once or twice a year) and so it feels like they have now decided i'm their taxi driver EVERY time.

AIBU

S1ur Sun 28-Sep-08 15:17:56

Hmm well, I think it is unreasonable of them to expect you to do it. That's rubbish for you.

I think it should have been decided beforehand. But since they were relying on you late at night yaba bit u not to take them.

cornsilk Sun 28-Sep-08 15:19:42

cheeky bints - make sure they know you won't be driving them home next time - if there is one!

LucyJones Sun 28-Sep-08 15:19:50

agree with slur
if it is always an issue than talk about it before you go out
seems a bit unfriendly to make them pay for a taxi but if it really annoys you ask thm to contribute for petrol
don't you like them or something?!!

lulumama Sun 28-Sep-08 15:22:06

driving 15 - 20 miles out of your way. ie a 40 odd mile round trip is a lot to just expect , if they all live near each other they should split the price of a cab.

bad form just to presume one person is happy to do all that extra driving and get home much much later

platypussy Sun 28-Sep-08 15:23:55

Do none of the others drive (so you could all take turns) or is it that they want to drink every time?

PavlovtheCat Sun 28-Sep-08 15:29:55

YANBU.
They should ask if you mind beforehand, and if you do, make their own arrangements, and if you agree to it, they should contribute to petrol, friends or not!

solidgoldbrass Sun 28-Sep-08 15:37:20

WHat a bunch of snivelling gutless wusses they are. I really do despise able-bodied adult women who are too fwitened to use public transport in the dark: the chances of something bad happening are actually really low, and the more women who are actually grown up and functional enough to go where they want, when they want, the better the general environment for everyone anyway.

bloomingfedup Sun 28-Sep-08 15:38:16

Just don't do it. simple.smile

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 15:40:03

One of the others drives, but, as they like a drink too they dont bother taking the car.

slur....it is always discussed beforehand ie "i'll pick you up/drop you off at X", but, with a bit of drink in them they then get all defensive and say i'm BU.

LJ ....of course I like them otherwise they wouldn't even get near the car and as they are friends I would never take petrol from them (they do offer).

It's just becoming too regular an occurance for my liking and altho they dont live near each other as such the do live in the same direction so could easily get cab to drop off on the way.

We are not talking about getting home around midnight either, we are talking at least 2am so yes it is a bit of a hike for me and I get back much later.

LucyJones Sun 28-Sep-08 15:41:22

I can see your point, thought you said 15-20 mins extra driving
think you'll have to have a word or decide not to go out with them maybe if they are unreasonable

Helga80 Sun 28-Sep-08 15:51:06

YANBU - your friends assuming you will make a 40 miles round trip to take them home is taking the piss.

I don't drink and get seriously annoyed when those people who drink assume it is my responsibility to take them home.

Why can't one of them not drink for one night and take a turn driving, for got sake why is alcohol so important to a night out envy

And sorry LucyJones, just because you like someone doesn't mean you should have to take them home at the end of the night.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 15:54:30

I love driving so dont mind picking up/taking to wherever we are going, but, just dont like the idea of the drop off at the end of the night when it's very late.
Will def go out again, i'll just have to think of a solution re: dropping off home.

I'll leave the car behind next time. See if the other driver takes hers.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 15:58:45

Helga...I dont see the point of drink either, I end up in a corner asleep so miss all the fun :O PMSL

I'm much more fun without a drink, you cant stop me LOL

Helga80 Sun 28-Sep-08 16:08:21

hardworker....we can be the boring sober ones in the corner grin

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 17:33:54

You'd never catch me sitting in a corner lol.

I once drove another good friends parents home after boxing day dinner/party and her sister was horrified that she allowed her elderly parents to get into the car with someone who was drunk. She had to explain that I dont drink, I was just happy and enjoying myself. I'm daft enough without it.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 17:59:09

Thinking about it.... why should I leave the car at home next time just to avoid driving them back???? hmm Just means i'll also be paying a cab fare when the whole point of buying the car in the first place was to avoid taxi fares (and covenient to get to work).

TheSmallClanger Sun 28-Sep-08 17:59:18

No, YANBU. It sounds like it has become a pattern, and they've got lazy as a result. You have to make it very clear what will happen. Invent an imaginary reason you need to be home, too - something like your DH waiting up for you.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 18:47:30

Thanks for your messages of support. I didn't think I was BU, but, it's good to know others points of view.

Blu Sun 28-Sep-08 19:04:36

15 / 20miles out of your way is a long extra drive - they are being selfish, lazy and taking you for granted. Actually I'm amazed that anyone thinks this would be reasonable for 'routine' lift giving.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 21:35:54

Or maybe I should start charging unreasonably high prices for petrol then they might think taking a taxi would be the cheaper option?

Couldn't do that, i'm too nice lol.

expatinscotland Sun 28-Sep-08 21:38:16

YANBU

KerryMum Sun 28-Sep-08 21:39:31

you are being a pansy.

stop letting your friends walk all over you.

hardworker Sun 28-Sep-08 21:43:33

KerryMum.......I know thats what they are doing, but, it's in my nature to be helpful. Only after a while (like now) I feel enough is enough and have to put my foot down. They just dont see it that way.

handlemecarefully Sun 28-Sep-08 21:45:59

YANBU - there's a fella who goes on a Dad's night out with dh who always neglects to arrange a taxi, and therefore dh ends up driving similar distance out of his way to drive drunken lairy freeloader home. It annoys the hell out of me (and I'm not even directly involved)

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