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to expect my neighbours to tell their kids to stay out my drive?

(63 Posts)
StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:07:44

My neighbours have 4 kids aged between 3 and 7. Whenever we come out or go in our house, (if they are outside), the kids all come into our drive and talk to me and my DS (aged 5). I have told them many times that this is our front garden and please could they not just come in. But they persist in coming in because their parents don't tell them to stay out.

I should say that the parents never ever talk to me apart from occasionally acknowledging my smile with a small nod.

Today we had just arrived home frazzled from school with DS just about to lose it completely and again all 4 kids appeared next to me, between my car door and my front door. I was a bit too strong in asking them to please get out my garden and the mother had a go at me.

They seem to expect me to talk to all their kids politely even though they will scarely acknowledge me. I think it's also that I am only used to one DC and to have another 4 kids appearing at my side is just a bit too much. After 4 years of asking them to respect my privacy, I'm getting a bit tired of it.

Am I just being old-fashioned in that I expect people not to come into my property unless I invite them, even if it is little kids?

LittleBella Fri 26-Sep-08 21:09:31

Have you ever actually told the parents that you don't want the kids in your drive?

Because if you've only told the kids, then yes, YABU. But if you've told the parents, then no, YAN.

StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:11:08

Well, I've said it to the kids but the parents are usually only standing feet away so can hear.

llareggub Fri 26-Sep-08 21:12:47

Honestly, I think you are being just a little bit precious about this.

myredcardigan Fri 26-Sep-08 21:13:13

This is what roofs and air guns are for! wink

falcon Fri 26-Sep-08 21:13:39

NO YANBU. I'd feel the same way.

loobeylou Fri 26-Sep-08 21:14:01

I don't think YABU

we have even worse prob as we have shared/double drive with neighbour whose kids treat the whole area as ther own and dump all their bikes, scooters etc all over, so i have to get out and move them all before I can park on the drive!! I would not allow mine to do the same, they don't seem to even notice (kids out unsupervised all day etc)


Mutt Fri 26-Sep-08 21:14:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:16:07

I do feel mean sometimes as they are only kids (and I usually do talk nicely to them). I just wish they had realised there are boundaries.

LittleBella Fri 26-Sep-08 21:16:42

Hmm, I wouldn't be too sure of that. If they're not concentrating on what's going on or just not that great at hearing (loads of people not diagnosed with hearing problems have them) they might not realise that it's a problem. Or they might think that you should tell them directly, rather than talk to the children about it.

If I heard my neighbours telling my kids they had to keep off their garden / drive/ whatever, I would expect them to talk to me about it tbh. I would still enforce it, but perhaps not as vigorously as I would if the neighbour had actually spoken to me.

StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:18:27

Thanks for your opinions. I have been wondering all day whether I should just let it go and not bother. I think if the parents were friendly, I wouldn't really mind.

Loobeylou - oh that's worse! Poor you. Do you ever say anything?

travellingwilbury Fri 26-Sep-08 21:19:15

Why do you care ?

Is it just that they are standing on your property ?

It doesn't sound like they are being rude , they are just saying hi and playing

I don't understand , sorry

Heated Fri 26-Sep-08 21:21:46

I think YABU. The neighbouring children sound young, friendly and enthusiastic talking up the drive to your dc. They'll be potentially lovely playmates for your dc as long as the grump of a mother doesn't scare them off! grin

StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:22:44

Why do I care? Good question...Um...sounds really petty but I think it's mainly the principle that they don't understand it's my garden. Oh dear, that makes me sound horrible. I think also it's that I often just want to get in the house with the armfuls of stuff you have to unload from the car and not have to push past loads of kids in the drive.

Maybe I am being too petty - that's why I asked! To see what you lot thought!!

falcon Fri 26-Sep-08 21:23:51

I hardly think she's being a grump just because she doesn't want the children to enter her property without permission.

It's basic good manners to learn respect for other people's property and personal space and to ask before entering or touching someone's belongings.

deepinlaundry Fri 26-Sep-08 21:23:56

I dread living next to people like you

Mutt Fri 26-Sep-08 21:24:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mutt Fri 26-Sep-08 21:25:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

falcon Fri 26-Sep-08 21:25:37

If my neighbours wanting my children to ask permission before entering their property, was the biggest problem I had with them, I'd be delighted.

falcon Fri 26-Sep-08 21:26:25

Yes I know it's kids being friendly, doesn't mean that it's wrong to expect them to ask first.

falcon Fri 26-Sep-08 21:27:54

And if they were doing it every single time I stepped out of the house it'd drive me crazy too, much as I love kids.

StrawberrySauce Fri 26-Sep-08 21:30:03

Maybe for the sake of general life happiness, I will forget about it. I know it all could be so much worse!! I KNOW it's petty but it's always the small things in life which are petty which get to you...

Mutt Fri 26-Sep-08 21:31:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twims Fri 26-Sep-08 21:31:46


Our neighbours kids are always playing on our driveway which makes it hard to get onto the drive.

We don't mix with the neighbours due to age difference of children.

Don't see why she's being unreasonable - would you like loads of people even if children to be stood on your drive way etc.

It's not their property they have plenty of space on their own drive, the path and the road.

WigWamBam Fri 26-Sep-08 21:32:30

It's a drive. Children being on it isn't going to break it, damage it, or impact badly on you in any way.

The children are being friendly; why shouldn't you talk to them politely? You would have something to complain about if they were swearing, flicking you the finger or damaging your property.

But they are walking on a piece of tarmac, and your complaining is making you sound petty and mean. Sorry, but it's really no big deal.

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