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To feel betrayed by and concerned about DP?

(99 Posts)
cryingbuckets Fri 26-Sep-08 14:54:33

Sorry should really go in relationships. Just not thinking right. Please don't slate me.

DP is taking his children from previous relationship on holiday. No problem with that and no obection to not going as think its good for him to spend undisturbed time with them.

He told me where he was going and is flying out from Heathrow. I just looked at the departure board to see if plane is flying on time and there is no flight to the place he told me. I checked Gatwick just in case I got the airport wrong and again no flight. I phoned him and asked him to tell me again where he was going as I couldn't see the flight and he told me not to "interfere with his kids" and dropped the call. He's now not answering at all.

I just don't know what to think. He's not back until next Saturday and could be going virtually anywhere at all.

littlelapin Fri 26-Sep-08 14:56:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBella Fri 26-Sep-08 14:56:32

Are you sure he is going with his children? Did you actually see him go off with them?

Sorry, but I'd be suspicious. His aggressive reaction to your reasonable question is a bit odd.

cryingbuckets Fri 26-Sep-08 14:58:31

Well the children were in teh car when they drove off looking very excited about the whole thing.

bellabelly Fri 26-Sep-08 14:59:23

Agree that his reaction is very odd. BUT lots of flights have been cancelled haven't they, due to the air traffic control centre going wrong (yesterday or maybe Wednesday?) - could that explain it?

2point4kids Fri 26-Sep-08 15:00:17

Does he have an amicable relationship with the childrens mother?
He wouldnt be taking them somewhere to see his family or just taking them for longer than he should be so hiding where he is?

sitdownpleasegeorge Fri 26-Sep-08 15:01:07

If you are really concerned about his intentions you could contact the children's mother and see if she can shed any light on the mystery ?

Twelvelegs Fri 26-Sep-08 15:01:51

I would ring the ex and ask if she has all the info as you have it if she needs it!!

J2O Fri 26-Sep-08 15:05:07

how long have you been together? sounds a little suspicious to me, especially his reaction. I hope it turns out to be innocent

cryingbuckets Fri 26-Sep-08 15:07:57

He just texted me. It says "Its none of your business where we go, why are you checking up on us".

WHY???? because he's the father of my child. Because I love(?d) him. Because he lives with me. Because I thought I could trust him.

Would never contact his ex. She is completely mad, violent and unstable and has already hospitalised me once and I have no idea how she got custody of the children

Arrrrrrg, feeling cold and numb even though the room is boiling. DP has talked about taking the children away somewhere safe from her and not bringing htem back in the past....... so many things going through my head

cryingbuckets Fri 26-Sep-08 15:08:20

J20 - 10 years

littlelapin Fri 26-Sep-08 15:08:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulabellarama Fri 26-Sep-08 15:09:44

I'm sorry but that reaction is unacceptable. If someone is acting suspisciously it's usually because they have something to hide.
Why weren't you invited on the holiday anyway?

Bucharest Fri 26-Sep-08 15:11:09

Oh dear- CB- hope this all turns out OK....Is he normally this aggressive towards you when you ask about his other kids? I'm afraid it seems a bit odd to me.

MascaraOHara Fri 26-Sep-08 15:12:00

I would be concerned.

Do you think he will come back?

Has he lied about something majpor before. I would seriously consider contacting his ex no matter how derranged she is.. they are her children too and he could be up to anything.

J2O Fri 26-Sep-08 15:12:09

oh wow, i thought you where going to say a few months! yes he definately owes you an explanation.

Lauriefairycake Fri 26-Sep-08 15:13:38

Reaction is unacceptable. I would call the police and give them his car registration number. Maybe they can locate his mobile signal.

BlingLovin Fri 26-Sep-08 15:17:56

I get stressed and worried DP is out and I don't know where he is and he's late - not because I worry about him running off, but just because I am a complete paranoid who stresses about people being killed in car crashes (I'm working on it). If DP told me he was going away for a night even and wouldn't tell me where, I'd be absolutely livid. You need to make him understand this isn't about checking up on him, it's about being able to communicate and know where he is. What happens if you need to reach him because of your DC?

If he won't answer phone, what about a calm text?

mrsruffallo Fri 26-Sep-08 15:19:04

Is he always that rude to you?

cryingbuckets Fri 26-Sep-08 15:19:30

Everything is completely out of character - totally. Have texted him that I will call the police to express concerns if he doen't call me within 20 minutes - now waiting for phone to ring and feeling cold and sick. Got to pick DD up from pre-school too but don't want her to see me like this so they are going to keep her in after care until I can come

MascaraOHara Fri 26-Sep-08 15:22:57

If I were you I'd call the police non-emergency number and tlak through your concerns.. see what they say.

Do you know whether or not the mother of the children know he's taking 'them on holiday'.. do you think she'll be round later asking why he hasn't dropped them back yet?

IfYouDidntLaughYoudCry Fri 26-Sep-08 15:23:11

That is awful. Does he always talk to you like that? Hope things work out and it turns out to be nothing other than him having an arsehole day sad

mrsruffallo Fri 26-Sep-08 15:25:46


Piffle Fri 26-Sep-08 15:28:02

I'd be concerned too
You have an absolute right to know where he is.
Sounds like he's maybe planning to head off with the kids?
Sorry but it sounds very suss

TurkeyLurkey Fri 26-Sep-08 15:29:08

err, because he is possibly a missing person with his children in tow.

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