Advanced search

arrrrrrrrrrrgh i am not your personal chef i will do dinner when i am ready to cook it......

(62 Posts)
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 19:10:11

and if you dont like it cook your fing dinner!!!

is what i said to dh before walking out of tesco and leaving him with a trolley full of food and no money. <i had to back when i realised he had the bread so i wouldnt be able to make dd2's sandwich>

the run upto to yet another argument is this; dd1 dances monday, tuesday and thursday 4pm untill 5 <but its more like 5:15> we got tesco for the dinner stuff after dancing so dinner is normally between 6:30 and 7:30 depending upon what we are having. now i dont leave them from lunch time to supper time with nothing they have a snack at 3:15 when dd1 finishes school. today they had two plums, a frube, a kinder hippo and half a bag of quavers each.

this is not good enough for dh. dinner is at 5pm. its not fair on the children so make them wait all this time. infact it is tantamount to neglect. he ignored me most of the way around tesco and was sniping the rest of the time before i had enough and walked out.

now AIBU? if i am cooking then dinner is served at what time i am readu to cook it according to what fits with my routine. if he doesnt like he can hire himself a chef or learn to cook himself.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 19:18:47

ah thats what i like to see no one daring to disagree with me grin i hope you are all quivering too!!!

either that or you are all just sick of my moaning hmm

batters Thu 25-Sep-08 19:21:38

home delivery.

I would rather cut my hand off than do grocery shopping with my dp.

Why do you put yourselves through this misery?!

Alambil Thu 25-Sep-08 19:21:45

So DH is around at about 5pm? So he could cook and have dinner waitin for the kids?

Or get a slowcooker - bung on in the morning and it'll be ready by half 5 for when the kids get in

I only say that because DS has to be in bed by half 6 so I can't fathom feeding him at 7 30 unless it's a special occasion

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 19:27:29

yes dh finishes at 4:30 so he could go straight home and be starting dinner. expect he is incapable of doing anything other than omlette. the dds go to bed between 8 and 8:30. usually 8 as dinner is normally nearer 6:30 than 7:30pm.

ChirpyGirl Thu 25-Sep-08 19:30:47

YANBU, but I also second batters, DH actually pays me not to go to the shops with him as we always fight, he gets bored and starts asking why we need stuff etc etc.

IS your DH an overtired child? cos that's what mine sound like when we are in teh shops, maybe he needs to sit quietly in the trolley with a nice box of raisins....

nooka Thu 25-Sep-08 19:34:24

Do you go shopping every night? Not sure how old your children are, but we seem to be eating earlier and earlier at the moment (usually because dh is hungry). I would move to a weekly shop, when everyone is not tired and ratty, agree on a tea time that works for everyone, and have dh cook at least once a week, possibly more often.

loobeylou Thu 25-Sep-08 19:35:57

how old are the kids? if primary school i personally would say that is late for them to be eating on school nights

and blimey, do you shop nearly every day then?! sounds like you would gain time from planning ahead a bit so you did not have to do that. my worst nightmare is having to take the kids shopping after school, only ever as an emergency thing

My top tip to save my time/sanity on nights we have manic after school activities is cook something big that will do double, save in fridge to be heated one or 2 days later, instant dinner in a hurry!

psychomum5 Thu 25-Sep-08 19:38:07

do you shop everyday then???

can you not plan in advance for dancing days and have tea in ready to get home to? Mine dance too, and we are often not home much before 6.15. 8pm on a friday<<sigh>>.

I would go mad tho if I did the tea shop each day on my way home, not least as going to tesco with 5 hungry children is tantamount to going to hell in my worldwink.

oh, and my slow cooker. I do loads in it, not just casseroles. I do pasta sauces in it, and then just have to cook the pasta once home, chilli, curry.....

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 19:39:18

yes i shop every night. if i know what dh wants then i get things during the day. he is incrediably fussy and so is dd so finding things they both like is near impossible.

i cant really do a weekly shop as i dont drive and its too difficult with the dds/dd2 so i get things as i need them.

normally its just me and the dds that go. yes its because he is hungry but surely he is capable of peeling a banana while he waits for his tea? he is a grown man ffs.

i dont think it is fair to stop dds dancing just because he wants his tea on the table at 5pm. the dds are fine at that time. dd1 gets a bit whingy but only because he winds her up.

ChirpyGirl Thu 25-Sep-08 19:43:52

Well in that case you need to show him why you go shopping at this time, as in make him something you can buy in advance and have ready and then when he snffs at it, you can yell your title again, and then he might get the hint.

Dropdeadfred Thu 25-Sep-08 19:46:36

why not have shopping delivered?

Turniphead1 Thu 25-Sep-08 19:47:47

shesells - you life seems unncessarily complicated. If you didn't have to go to a supermarket every evening, then you could all eat earlier. Yes, internet shop is the way forward. (not that I am suggesting you should give in to a tantrumy DH - but it might be easier for you).

I do hope given that he is home so early that he is doing something except demanding his dinnner at the time children normally eat...

My DH starts work at 7.30am and would be extraordinarily lucky to be home before 8.30 any given day. If he gets back before 7 he is on full cooking or children duty.

Tortington Thu 25-Sep-08 19:49:32

my dh is like a bear - screaming FEED ME NOW when he gets in from work.

inveriably i have been home from work for about an hour at that point and sat and had a brew and talked to the kids - maybe picked a few pieces up - you know how an hour goes.

but the tea is usually in the oven albeit not cooked by the time he gets home.

he is always STARVING!!!!!

i tell him he should have eaten more at lunch time becuase this is how it always shall be so shut the fuck up.

now if i am at work and he is at home - my tea is ready as soon as i get in!!! this is his own displacement - as i can't eat when i have just walked in - i want to sit and have a brew and a chat.

if he is hungry then he can cook.

cooking isnt exactly a fucking science is it.

bung the fucker in the oven

psychomum5 Thu 25-Sep-08 19:50:57

why don;t you get the entire family to sit down and sort out meals that you will all like and eat.

then sort out a meal planner

then get food delivered, and while you are at dancing, DH can cook whatever is on the menu for that particular night.

Anna8888 Thu 25-Sep-08 19:55:02

It's not very efficient to shop daily. I understand that you cannot do a big weekly shop if you aren't shopping with a car (I am in this position too) but it would be better to try to limit yourself to 2 or 3 supermarket shops per week, on your own if possible.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 20:05:38

i dont normally go to supermarkets. if i know what he wants i go the butchers and the local fruit shop. i pass a butchers and a fruit shop on the way to dancing so if he would just tell me what he bloody well wants instead of "i dont know what do you think? well just do what you think" and then when i do what i think i get "er i dont know if i like that/oh i didnt fancy that can i have this instead?" honestly its like dealing with a child. infact the children are easier "do you want cheese and broccoli pasta?" "yes please"

internet shopping would be a good idea. as would a meal plan i have tried doing one before but we didnt stick to it. i normally just cook what he we fancy on the day.

differentID Thu 25-Sep-08 20:13:15

seashells, was this the way he was brought up, by any chance? his dad got in at 5, tea was on the table waiting?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 20:15:54

yes the exact way its also way his mum still tells him things 'should be' she tries to tell me the same and is usually greeted with a nod or cold stare depneding upon what mood i am in.

my mum worked fulltime and was part time at college so my dad would cook when my mum came home from work so im used to dinner at 6pm. i dont see what is wrong with having a later dinner.

differentID Thu 25-Sep-08 20:37:39

sorry, but he's an arse. If he wants tea at 5pm then he needs to learn how to cook. Could you just cook for the dc and tell him that your striking because of his stinking attitude

Turniphead1 Thu 25-Sep-08 20:38:30

Shesells you haven't answered the questions about internet shopping?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 25-Sep-08 20:41:54

sorry i didnt see any questions on internet shopping? i did say it sounds like it might be a better idea for us. and easier, though its not the shopping together thats the problem its the time we are eating. even with internet shopping i would struggle to have dinner ready before 6pm.

and i generally go to the butchers and fruit shop as much as possible <miles cheaper than supermarkets>. a meal planner is a great idea though ill definately be trying that one. and im sorry i have heard of slow cookers but im a bit clueless i thought they were for meat?

bellavita Thu 25-Sep-08 20:43:45

Online shopping and a slow cooker smile

That way, you can put something in there on a morning, DH can help himself to it when he comes in and then you and the girls get yours after dancing.

Moski Thu 25-Sep-08 20:44:29

Compromise perhaps? He can shop (if it has to be every day)and cook on dance nights. He may be forced to expand his repertoire.

rempy Thu 25-Sep-08 20:45:17


Are you seriously saying your husband wants to be so picky about what he eats that you shop everyday for something he has chosen, and then he expects you to cook it for him, for 5pm when you're not even in the house by then?

What a (£)%(".

Men are not incapable of cooking, they are just disinterested. I assume he can read? And you have recipe books?

Leave him properly hungry for a few days and then show him where the pans are...

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: