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AIBU?

to think that people who spent £12,000 on an engagment ring are very silly and pretentious.?

138 replies

vio · 24/09/2008 23:14

Recently a very good friend of mine just got engaged, she was given the chance of choosing an engagnment ring at Cartier in London, with a budget up to £12.000 ..though at the end she chose one cost £8.500 but I thought that's a complete waste of money...on the other hand, I felt bad for judging people becos everyone has its own right to spend money right?

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littlelapin · 24/09/2008 23:15

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expatinscotland · 24/09/2008 23:16

are they going to ask for money or vouchers as wedding gifts ?

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jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 24/09/2008 23:16

Depends on how much money they have. If they're going without food for it then daft obviously, if they can afford it then it's up to them.

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littlelapin · 24/09/2008 23:18

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Lauriefairycake · 24/09/2008 23:18

I wouldn't care about the cost and would be very happy for her engagement (you say she's a very good friend)

But I've often wondered what the cut off point is for people on here - is it 40k for a car? 10k for a ring? before it becomes immoral (immoral not quite the right word but something).

Her money, her/his choice obviously

silly, pretentious - hmm, no, I presume she's not going to be telling most people the cost and just saying look at my beautiful ring (and that you only know because you're close)

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expatinscotland · 24/09/2008 23:19

well, no one needs toasters and kettles anymore.

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cat64 · 24/09/2008 23:19

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ivykaty44 · 24/09/2008 23:19

It is all relative - if they have the money to spend on a ring and want to then why not? In fact it is probably a sensible place to put your money at the moment - gold should go up and it may well be safer than keeping the money in the bank.......

So I would think it is one of the most sensible things to spend your money on if you want to put it somewhere safe

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MrsFogi · 24/09/2008 23:22

Depends how much they earn - the tradition is a month's salary on the ring (definately gross not net ). Silly going to Cartier though, they'll be paying for the name rather than the rock.

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Fimbo · 24/09/2008 23:23

I know someone who has just put down a £300k deposit on a house.

But her exbf is an a/hole of the highest order. She is now a single parent with 2 young children.

Sometimes life isn't always as it seems.

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vio · 24/09/2008 23:23

No, I asked becos I wondered why they had to travel all the way down to London for a ring so i asked, couldn't you buy one in Manchester then she told me theres no shop in Man and I asked what shop so she told me.

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S1ur · 24/09/2008 23:24

It is a verrrrry low priority to spend money on if that's what you mean.

But if I had a ton of cash then spending 12 grand here or there might not seem so excessive.

Oh fuck it I suspect I could never shake feeling that £12000 is a hellava lot for a bit of shine.

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Chandra · 24/09/2008 23:25

I think is only silly and pretentious if they are advertising the cost.

Besides... Cartier is... is...

Cartier!!!

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S1ur · 24/09/2008 23:25

Fimbo £300k deposit? Holy moley how much is house worth???????

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wilkos · 24/09/2008 23:25

er, no. I think she is a very lucky girlie whoever she may be

i have a cartier watch that cost a lot less [smug] but I had to give birth to get that!!!

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littlelapin · 24/09/2008 23:27

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Chandra · 24/09/2008 23:29

But Fimbo... I still think that is better to be rich and miserable, than...


poor and miserable?

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vio · 24/09/2008 23:31

Dont get me wrong, i am very happy for her as shes a very good friend of mine..just that I think.. somehow it has something to do with what I've been through..after losing DS to a genetic illness....I often wonder why some people want to spend money like that as there are people out there who need help ( well, i know we cannot donate all our money to charities and i do agree, yes, her bf is wealthy but going to cartier is like ..you are paying for the name and thats what made me think ,are they pretentious ??

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S1ur · 24/09/2008 23:31

It is so relative then Lapin.

I have almost that much debt just less deposit

A house is dif from a ring though. One will give you a bed and a place to play with dc when rainy weather and so on.

The other will look really sparkly.

Actually I'm beginning to change my mind, do you think now is a good time to sell up and buy diamonds?

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thumbwitch · 24/09/2008 23:33

ivykaty, I don't think that reasoning stands up very well as you never really recoup the original cost - my engagement ring from st engagement (broken) was from Garrard's but is only worth about 1/3 of what it cost new.

Maybe it is different for Cartier but I suspect it's rather like buying a brand new car - you lose a huge percentage of the value the minute it's out the shop/showroom.

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littlelapin · 24/09/2008 23:35

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vio · 24/09/2008 23:39

Yes, i am happy for her and I think I should be happy that shes found someone who is willing to buy her a Cartier ring. I told DH and he said he would rather spend the money buying me a good & reliable car than a ring..fair enough. but I said £12K isn't enough for a good car !!

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MrsThierryHenry · 24/09/2008 23:46

Expat you are being a cheeky monkey! Again!

Am at this amount of money and I'm not going to get all PC and say 'it's their money, they can do what they want with it'. Instead I'll say 'Bloody flippin-monkey-wtf-is-the-world-coming-to hell!'

I do wish people would be more imaginative with their money sometimes.

I once took £2000 to a children's home in an East African country. For most people in the UK it's not life-transforming money, now is it? It's a lot, but not an extraordinary sum. Well, it turns out they'd been hoping to build a health centre for their whole region (as the existing one was in a horrific state) but couldn't afford the mortar to build it. The day after we arrived with the money, guess what they went out and bought? I cried.

So, yes, we are of course allowed to do what we like with our money but some of us are more creative than others.

Hope she doesn't get mugged with that rock on her finger.

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S1ur · 24/09/2008 23:49

MrsTH

respect.

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MrsThierryHenry · 24/09/2008 23:51

I should add here that in case anyone got the wrong impression, we raised the £2k - it wasn't out of our savings!

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