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AIBU?

to seriously consider getting rid of my cat? Yes I probably am but need to vent!

37 replies

spicemonster · 24/09/2008 18:31

God I am furious. And fed up. I have two cats, they're about 14. One of them started pooing in the house since my DS started standing up. It was initially every few weeks, then every few days, now it's every day. This has been going on for 6 months now. And not just in one place - I have to do a shit sweep when I get home from work and every morning when I get up. Tonight I missed some and found my DS sitting with a huge poo in his hand. That's the second time that's happened

I'm not so worried about infection, it's just the utter grimness of him handling it (and possibly eating it - yuck!) and also having to clean up three lots of cat shit twice a day.

There is nothing wrong with her - she's been to the vets twice now, she's in perfect health and she walks past the litter tray to use one of her favourite shit spots. I've bought a new litter tray which I keep scrupulously clean and have spent (on top of £100 vet's fees) 50 quid on stuff to make her happier (pheromones and herbal remedies) but to no avail. Next step is a behaviouralist apparently but that's going to set me back £££.

AIBU to seriously consider getting rid of her? They'd put her down though wouldn't they? No one wants an old cat

It's such a shame - she's a lovely cat for a single person, she just hates small children.

Oh god I don't know what to do - I'm just so fed up

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missingtheaction · 24/09/2008 18:36

some people do want to adopt old cats - try freecycle and your local cats home. 14 isn't that old any more - many cats live to 20+. It is really hard to change this behaviour once it starts - it's all about territory and also cats like to poo where they have ppooed before, and also they can smell it for ages afterwards.

if she hates ds it may be kinder to find a new home for her (assuming you don't want to find a new home for him )

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 24/09/2008 18:37

Cat Protection League may take her on ?

for you and cat too

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TheSmallClanger · 24/09/2008 18:40

Attitudes like this make me very cross indeed. When you take on an animal, it's for that animal's lifespan, not until you're fed up of clearing up after it.
Have you not tried moving the litter tray if she keeps using the same spot? There are also sprays you can get which neutralise the smell and make that spot less attractive in future.

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spicemonster · 24/09/2008 18:40

Do you reckon missingtheaction? She really is a lovely cat for an old person - she likes nothing better than sitting on your lap, being cuddled.

I don't really want to get rid of either of them but I guess I'd keep my DS over her at a push

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CarGirl · 24/09/2008 18:42

I'd take an old cat but we have young children so that's no help to you I'm afraid.

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spicemonster · 24/09/2008 18:45

Thanks TheSmallClanger. She doesn't keep pooing in one place as you'll see if you read the OP properly.

Yes I've tried the sprays and moving the litter tray. I've tried putting bowls of food in places where she had a shit. I've tried cuddling her and ignoring my DS. I've even tried keeping him out of the house for a few days and paying her loads of attention but nothing makes any difference.

I could have written all that in my OP but it's a bit dull. Nothing makes any difference.

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TheSmallClanger · 24/09/2008 18:52

It was the phrase "favourite shit spot" which led me to believe that there are specific places she does it.

The spray I was referring to is used by vets to sanitise floors and stuff. There is a stronger version marketed to care homes which will even get rid of the smell of human urine pretty much instantly. This works for dog scent marking.

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TheSoapEatersMum · 24/09/2008 19:08

Aw yanbu, if you really, really were sure about rehoming her, someone would take her on.
We adopted an old, 3 legged, half blind cavalier (best dog in the world!) so there is plenty of hope for her!

freecycle don't let you advertise pets, but there are loads of cat rescue places; also maybe try preloved?

I do hope she stops though, so you can all stay together.

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Whoopee · 24/09/2008 19:09

People do take old cats. I went to Battersea to adopt the two oldest cats they had, because it upsets me that they get overlooked in favour of cuter kittens and end up dying in captivity.

Mine are still alive, so I'm not looking for any more old cats, but someone else will be happy to give yours a home. Plenty of people favour old cats because they're more cuddly and stay-at-home than crazy kittens.

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dittany · 24/09/2008 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumjoanne · 24/09/2008 19:28

Hi SpiceMonster - lots of sympathy as we have had the same problems with our 2 male cats (11 years old) who started spraying all over the house when ds and then dd were born. We moved them into the garage and have made a wooden den for them with lots of blankets and cushions etc and we feed them in there. I think it is a much happier situation for them as well as us. We also tried the plug in pheromones and harbel cat stuff but it just didn't work - I think they just need somewhere quiet to call their own. have you got a shed or garage you could relocate your cat to?

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countingto10 · 24/09/2008 19:32

You need to clean the places where shes goes with something like biological washing powder to get rid of all traces of smell etc and I would suggest putting small amounts of cat food in the places where she is currently going - you don't poo where you eat especially cats as they are very fussy.Try this as a first step.I know how you feel though - my cat's 19.5 years old, diabetic and driving me nuts.  Never used a litter tray until a couple of years ago, puts his front feet in and then craps over the edge !Good luck.

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friendlyedjit · 24/09/2008 19:39

spicemonster- also lots of sympathy. have 16 year old ginger who started leaving large soft presents about foot or so,away from his tray. Thankfully still peeing in tray. He goes three or 4 times daily and probably has colitis and is on steroids .We have also moved trays etc and that's when he walks over them to poo on the other side!It is really hard sometimes, but he has been with me for so long I think we are resigned to cleaning up poo- however we are lucky that it is confined to a tiled area.

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LazyLinePainterJane · 24/09/2008 19:40

Can she be kept out of certain areas of the house? Appreciate this is not always possible in some houses, but could you relocate the cat flap and maybe make a warm place in a room the you can keep your DS out of?

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friendlyedjit · 24/09/2008 19:41

oh meant to say also that i adore my little ( actually he's not so lttle) ginger friend!

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spicemonster · 24/09/2008 19:45

The thing with the sprays is that she just chooses somewhere else to poo although I've not got one from the vet but I can imagine that's what she'll do. Her favourite place is in the bathroom which is easiest to clean so if she only pooed there, that would be pretty easy to deal with. She does have favourite shit spots but occasionally poos elsewhere too for the element of surprise.

It's really odd - she'll go weeks without pooing in the living room and then poo there twice in one week.

I've tried putting down bowls of food and moving the litter tray. She's very much an indoor cat and doesn't really go out much (although she can). Unfortunately we live in London in a 2 bedroom flat so there is nowhere she can go to avoid my DS but I agree that is potentially a solution.

It's horrible becauss she's obviously so unhappy (and cross!) and I try to be kind to her but my patience is wearing a bit thin.

I think I will look into rehousing because I think it might be the best thing for her as well as me. I'd miss her but it's just doing my head in. I can't have her put down - that's just too vile.

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laweaselmys · 24/09/2008 19:52

She is obviously unhappy, I think getting re-homed is a good idea. She's not going to change and you can't look after her. It's the right thing to do IMO.

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falcon · 24/09/2008 19:54

Rehoming an old cat can be very traumatic. I'd look into other methods, visit a few cat forums for tips, talk to vet before considering rehoming.

I'll say no more because it makes me furious to think of people getting rid of their cat so easily, I know you're in a difficult and unfortunate situation but pets are supposed to be for life not until they become an uncovenience.

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falcon · 24/09/2008 19:56

OK have seen you;ve consulted a vet but I would try a behaviourist next or certainly a book on feline behaviour, there's one I have in mind but I can't remember the name of it right now. But it specifically addressed this issue.

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spicemonster · 24/09/2008 19:58

falcon - I agree in principle only I would say that six months of it could hardly be considered easy. I have visited more cat forums than I can count. And the vet is only suggesting a behaviouralist now and I think that will be very expensive.

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spicemonster · 24/09/2008 19:58

just seen your 2nd post - if you can remember the book, that would be great

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countingto10 · 24/09/2008 19:59

Is there really nowhere she can escape your DS - my old cat hides under a bed upstairs all day to escape my 3 yr old (who body slams him at every opportunity)only coming down in the evening when he's in bed.

She's obviously upset and may settle if you can provide a high ledge/hiding place where your son can't bother her.

You really don't want to be getting rid of her at her age but it's not problem that you can cope with indefinately.

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falcon · 24/09/2008 20:02

Is it at all possible to set aside an area that's just hers? OR at least an area your DS can't get to. She's obviously very stressed, I feel for you and the cat. It's tough on both of you.

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hippipotami · 24/09/2008 20:02

Are you sure there is nothing wrong with her? My SIL's cat started displaying the behaviour you have described at around teh same age. A year later he added weeing everywhere to his repertoire - behind the tv, behind teh wardrobe, on the kitchen worktop etc. Another year he had many other odd habits including constant crying and teh vet diagnosed dementia. Poor cat just had no idea where he was and hence pooped adn weed wherever he could find - he simply could not remember what the litter tray was for or to go outside to do it!

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StewieGriffinsMom · 24/09/2008 20:26

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