really fed up

[bovverred]

with everytime someone produces another disruptive, out of control, violent, rude etc etc etc child the pc brigade give them a condition, and name. whatever happened to just plain naughty and needing disipline. makes me soooooo blody angry.

[mamadiva]

My child is a monster and I admit it. He's 2.5YO but has had as much discapline as a 2YO can have! Doesn't seem to work though.

Smack his hand he laughs, raise my voice he looks at me as though I'm daft, tell him not to do it he ignores me, put him in his room he just throws mega tantrums and comes out then does whatever he did before.

YABalittleU because I know my child is not an angel but I don't need to hear someone moan on about it (am assuming you are talking about someone) they are enough stress without worrying what other people think! An people looking down their noses.

[FabioVicePeeperPlopper]

some children are naughty and need more discipline (or less)

you won't cure autism or ADHD by sitting a child in the naughty corner though.

is that what you meant?

[mrsruffallo]

It's society in general- everyone has something/someone else to blame for the things they do wrong.

[MissMarpleTastic]

Has something happened?

[Combustiblelemon]

What an interesting first post Bovverred. You wouldn't also be Bobbysmum07 would you?

[Carmenere]

Oh have a bit of compassion fgs. Some parents find controlling naughty kids a walk in the park, some parents don't. some parents need help, some don't and some parents do actually have children who have a condition with a name.

[mamadiva]

Oh and shouldv'e added I love my child to bits, I wish he were quieter etc but then again he wouldn't be him without it.

[hifi]

agree to some extent, when i was young there were 6 boys who lived near us, not related. they were all swines, setting fires, bullying etc. parents were pitied, no help from anyone. they have all turned out ok as adults.

[Bucharest]

I also agree with bovvered to a certain extent- and unfortunately the parents (for it is usually them) who leap for a label as an excuse, do absolutely no favours to the children who do really have problems through no fault of their own.
Some children are just vile.

[Tortington]

i know, its lke saying its fine that i am a piss poor parent, my child is the way he is because the ritalin dose isn't high enough

[ComeOVeneer]

Its not as simple as that though bovverred.

[mamadiva]

There are lots of kids who do have a name to their behaviour though, my brother and my cousin both have ADHD and that's been given by doctor not by my mum and aunt.

Just because your child misbehaves doesn't make you a piss poor parent, I try my hardest with my son but there's only so much you can do.

[Bucharest]

mamadiva- I think that's what most people on this thread are saying though- there are children with recognised, diagnosed problems, and there are children who are badly behaved. Unfortunately sometimes the definitions are blurred- and usually because the parents seek a diagnosis as a misguided answer to behaviour that is simply bad, not "bad" because the child has problems.

[ByTheSea]

You have no idea what it is actually like to live with a child who really does have an emotional and behavioural disorder. How is it that I have three other children who are considered so 'delightful' and 'well-mannered' by all who know them if my DC are simply lacking in discipline?

[Jux]

I know exactly what you mean, without denigrating those who really do have problems. I know a guy who is trying very hard to persuade his wife that he some type of high functioning autism, when in fact he's just a rude git.

[slightlycrumpled]

YABU, How would you be able to diagnose the children who do have a recognised diagnosis and those who are just plain naughty. You can't.

[bovverred]

well how is it that years ago kids were not so out of control. perhaps its the crap some of these parents feed their children. i just think it is bad parenting, i dont mean all childrn i think there are medical conditions but no where near the amount that the media etc would have us believe.

[mamadiva]

Bovverred I don't really understand what you mean! Do you mean all children who don't have a disorder are badly behaved because they ahve shit parents?

[bovverred]

quite possibly!

[ComeOVeneer]

I don't feed my children crap, everything is homemade, I think I am a good parent. DD is extremey well behaved, I am often complimented about her behaviour/manners etc. DS ia unruly and very naughty. Same food, same parenting techniques/discipline. Go figure!!

[bovverred]

some people give in more to second children

[shootfromthehip]

Know what you mean about this- there are medical conditions and there are parents who make crap excuses to what amounts to crap parenting. We live in an overly permissive society IMHO where many actiona are excused by certain parents.

This goes for lots of other things too. I tutor secondary kids and have had to explain to many parents that their kids DO NOT have dyslexia and that the tests are NOT wrong. Their children are just not good at the subject/ lazy/ not interested (delete as applicable). Some parents seem to think that if you have a kid who is good at somethings and not others, rather than accepting that they have specific talents, it is either the school's fault or there is a medical reason / SN.

Bollocks

Another case in point is that bloody programme X Factor- full of indignant people who think that because they want to sing and be famous and their family wants them to sing and be famous that that is enough- forget about having natural talent.

I know so many parents who make too many excuses and are too indulgent towards their kids. It will not serve them well in later life.

[MorningTownRide]

bovverred - do you actually have children?

[mamadiva]

I have one DS who only eats a select few things, none of which are crap all homemade as he is very very fussy.

So I don't feed him crap, I try to discipline him as much as I can he is only 2, and he gets out plenty has lots to do etv gets loads of attention so how exactly is that crap parenting?