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Feeling shaken and stressed and a bit angry. I think I probably am BU, but need some MN soothing and slapping.

(63 Posts)
MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:04:25

Just been round to a (new) friend's house with DD and DS. When it was time to leave I went upstairs to retrieve DD, leaving DS (2) playing downstairs. The friend came upstairs to show me the view from her bedroom window (tis v beautiful). As I came downstairs I saw that she had opened the front door shock. I immediately panicked re: DS and rushed down just in time to see DS toddling across the frigging street (a city street, not much traffic, but the cars whizz along).

I nearly died of fear. DS was luckily rescued in one piece. She did apologise, but she seems kind of scatty and airy fairy and I don't think she appreciates how shocked and upset I was/am. Although that's partly my fault as I have a ludicrously stiff upper lip.

But seriously WTF was she thinking???!! Would you leave the front door wide open onto a city street and eave a 2 yo unattended?

I came home and have been cuddling a napping DS non-stop, but I keep imagining what might have happened if we'd spent a minute or two longer upstairs. sad

Oh and just to top it all off dd (3.9) thought it would be a lark to re-enact the drama and shot off across the street as I was strapping DS into his buggy. Great. My nerves are in tatters.

branflake81 Tue 23-Sep-08 16:06:58

I think your friend was careless but it was a simple oversight that anyone could easily make (including you!) so I think you need to calm down.

VinegarTits Tue 23-Sep-08 16:08:55

First of all, thank goodnss your all ok, secondly stop imagining 'what if' put it out your mind, snuggle on the sofa, have some chocolate (sugary for the shock) or a big glass of wine (would be my choice for shock) and be more vigalant next time you go round to your friends new house

noonki Tue 23-Sep-08 16:09:27


Stupid thing for her to do but it was a scatty mistake, not malicious and she apologised

I would have been annoyed but then let it go

StayFrosty Tue 23-Sep-08 16:10:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OMaLittle Tue 23-Sep-08 16:11:21

Ooh, DH did this (went over the road and left door on latch) - I was changing DD2's nappy (aged about 4 weeks at the time!) and suddenly a sixth sense made me jump up and go into hall, sure enough DD1 (2) was heading out of the door. We live on a quiet city street but totally lined with parked cars. I literally had nightmares for a month and found it really hard to forgive DH (post-natal hormones, moi?). I was angry at the time and he was defensive rather than remorseful, but later on let him know more calmly how much it had upset me, and I don't think he'll do it again.

What's annoying when it's DH is that he'll respond 'how could you possibly think I would do anything to endanger our child?' in a very MIL-style emotionally manipulative way - 'err, because you did?'

OMaLittle Tue 23-Sep-08 16:12:01

In conclusion, YANBU.

TinkerBellesMum Tue 23-Sep-08 16:13:27

I should imagine she wasn't thinking because she doesn't have children of her own it's not something that would cross her mind.

YANBU, I would be feeling exactly the same, but don't hold it against your friend she will learn one day when it's her own son running for the road.

OneLieIn Tue 23-Sep-08 16:14:32

Agree totally with noonki, calm down and be glad nothing happened. YOu had a close shave, it's over. She was scatty and airy fairy but if she does not have kids, that happens (and also a lot when you have kids).

She apologised.

BTW, someone could ask WTF you were doing leaving a 2 old alone downstairs (I am not asking, just saying)

YABU, calm down.

FabioVicePeeperPlopper Tue 23-Sep-08 16:16:44

I take it the friend doesn't have children?

I'd be shaken and stressed and angry.
And I wouldn't go to visit new friend with dcs again in a hurry.

MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:17:14

TinkerbellesMum - she has three DCs! The youngest is about 4.

I am pissed off at her, but I would have been equally (if not more) furious with myself if I'd been so careless.

forevercleaning Tue 23-Sep-08 16:17:58

does she have children of her own. If not you are being slightly unreasonable.

Until I had dc there are so many thaings I just wouldnt think about, not on purpose but my mind is not 'one step ahead' like it has to be when we become parents.

Let it go and dont let it ruin your friendship. She is probably mortified.

MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:18:56

I left DS downstairs as the house itself is totally child-proofed and safe.

suzywong Tue 23-Sep-08 16:19:23

Preferably Bombay Sapphire
Lots of ice and a splash of tonic

it's that kind of remedy that kept The Empire together for so many years

forevercleaning Tue 23-Sep-08 16:19:25

crossed posts just now, soz thought she didnt have kids.

FabioVicePeeperPlopper Tue 23-Sep-08 16:19:39

3 kids?
Perhaps they are dimwitted children, and it doesn't occur to them to explore the big wide world.
M'brother is just the same, the idiot.

Turniphead1 Tue 23-Sep-08 16:20:46

YANBU. I would have thought that an adult with an ounce of wit would know not to leave an open door with a 2 year old around. By the same token - it was malicious, just really really thoughtless. But I don't count it was one of those things you just wouldn't know unless you had children. But thank God all was ok - and just be very vigilant next time you are with her. Maybe not a potential babysitter hmm

Turniphead1 Tue 23-Sep-08 16:21:22

sorry - wasn't malicious!

MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:21:27

I won't let it ruin my friendship at all. I'm de-fuming as I type. I just needed to vent, as I didn't offload any of the anger and fear at the time.

MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:23:28

lol at Fabio grin

Wong - I have Plymouth gin, grenadine, limes and soda water...they are calling to me.

bloomingfedup Tue 23-Sep-08 16:30:05

Yes and no. I can totally understand where you are coming from but it was probably just a mistake. At least you know she may be a bit away with the fairies for future

PinkTulips Tue 23-Sep-08 16:35:53

i think those of us with curious exploratory children get so used to the precaustaions we have to take with ours we forget that other peoples kids might actually not endanger their own lives at every available opportunity.

i'm always amazed at the freedom most other parents can give their kids and no harm comes to them whereas mine have to be locked into the house and watched every second they're outside.

my friends can all sit inside while their kids of 2-6 years old play in the garden with access to the road and not have to worry about them wandering off as it simply doesn't occur to the kids.

mine tried to climb out of the unlocked playroom window last month shock(it's now locked) and cannot see a door or gate without feeling the compulsion to explore beyond it.

i've simply had to accustom myself to getting lots of eyerolling from other parents who think i'm a neurotic freak while i watch my kids like a hawk and constantly keep tabs on them while their kids are happy playing quietly close to mom...... til they see my kids make a dash for a road full of cars of course, and throw a tantrum when i prevent them running under said cars [sigh]

suzywong Tue 23-Sep-08 16:40:28

ooooh grenadine
how swish grin

MadamAnt Tue 23-Sep-08 16:42:15

pinktulips - it helps to know there are similarly afflicted parents out there. But do you ever ask yourself if we've somehow made them this way??? Maybe all that extreme kayakking and unharnessed rock climbing while pg gave them a taste for adrenaline? wink

PinkTulips Tue 23-Sep-08 16:52:32

oh, i know i made them like this..... genetics darling

there's a great story from when i was 2. my parents had just moved to germany and were unpacking the boxes when there was a knock on the door. twas a neighbour to ask them 'excuse me but is that your child running through that field?'. it was pitch black and the field was knee deep in mud and apparently i was trying to catch the moon hmm


on the day were were moving to ireland when i was 6 i decided to stroll a mile down the road to say goodbye to the horses in the fields, my mom only realised i was gone when my school friend and her mother called to say goodbye to me and i was nowhere to be found

therefore i clearly have no right to complain about my own wandering children grin

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