to want to moan at yet ^another^ blardy party

[citronella]

This weekend ds has another 2 parties to go to this weekend and next weekend he has another! I mean -

1. They will never end because there are 25 kids in his class
2. It's getting expensive
3. I am running out of present ideas
4. I'd like to be able to plan something else sometimes than just how to get to this that and the other party (and have to drag ds2 along)
5. We might actually get a look in to book ds' own party
6. I now feel like we have to have a party for him
7. It will be expensive because there will be so many return invites plus the ones we want to invite

There, I sound like a right miserable party pooper cow now!
Don't get me wrong - I am happy he gets invited at all but still...
I wish I'd had that social calendar when I was 6!!

[nailpolish]

you dont have to reply in writing to each party
you DO NOT have to have a party for your child with all the classmates - you ownt be the only one
you dont ahve to go to every party
buy the same present for every boy and same for every girl
take it in turns with other parents to take the children to the party then you can stay home with your ds2

[ComeOVeneer]

Bewtween the 2 of them mine have already been to or been invited to 11 parties since they went back to school/nursery just over 2 weeks ago! I agree it is ridiculous. I've had MIL moaning that it will be weeks until she sees them because our weekends are broken up by all these parties!

[DaphneMoon]

It gets less as they get older, my DS is 8 and does not get invited to half as many as he used to.........

[citronella]

11 parties!! Blimey -

I don't reply in writing to any - always phone
Ds gets the invites before me so knows they are coming up. Can't really say no and don't want him to miss out.
Yes deffo re the same presents - any ideas? and how much is reasonable to spend without being tight given it has to be spread over several?

[KatieDD]

They fizzle out in Year 3 if that helps then you find out how popular or not your child is

[staranise]

Buy presents from the Book People - nice stuff, you can buy online, and much cheaper than in say, Waterstones (I spend £5-10 per child). This is our sixth party weekend in a row and we have two next weekend so I did put my foot down and say no to this saturday's whether DD knows about it or not. You are not obliged to go to all of them!

[PrettyCandles]

Buy cards in bulk from The Book People.
Whenever you see anything suitable for presents, on sale, or on offer, buy several so that you can keep a stash ready for parties.
Invite the children you/ds want to invite, and don't worry about return invites.

[HuwEdwards]

Citronella,

1. You don't have to accept every party invite

1. No-one I know keeps a tally on who was invited to which party. Regardless of which my DDs are invited to, I let them tell me who they want at theirs. The DDs like to invite boys to their parties, however some of the boys have footie parties and exclude girls. hey ho, you win some you lose some.

[MadreInglese]

Citronella
Be grateful that your child is popular and getting invites.
As they get older the parties get smaller and so you won't always end up with 25 invites a year.
Buy the same pressies as others have said, no one will know, and you don't have to spend a lot each time.
There's no law to say party invites must be reciprocal, no one keeps tally (and if they do they're saddos)

[ComeOVeneer]

I have a stash of presents. I buy tings often in woolies, where they do BOGOF offers on things like ninja turtles, etc.

[citronella]

but isn't it rude not to invite back ?

[Issy]

Buy all presents in bulk from The Book People. Last academic year all friends of DD1 (Yr2) and DD2 (YrR) got a £5 cookery book from The Book People. I bought a load at the beginning of the year, stashed them in a cupboard with some non-gender-specific wrapping paper and a box of The Book People cards and that was one less hassle.

I agree that parties dwindle in Yr 3.

We have never had a 'whole class' party and to date neither DD1 nor DD2 have been ostracized.

[nailpolish]

its a childrens party not a dinner invite

[citronella]

Ah well I'll just have to get on with them - if it's not rude then may well have to not think about return invites unless they also happen to be who ds would like.
DS keeps wanting to invite these twin boys (he says they are his best friends although I think he has other best friends)but they have a bit of a reputation (already at age 5/6) for being real handfuls.

I really do sound like a miserable moaning minny (am not really)
Thanks for letting me sound off!

[TigerFeet]

1. They will never end because there are 25 kids in his class

Only 22 to go then ! You don't have to say yes to all of them although I appreciate it's hard to say no.

1. It's getting expensive

Buy books in bulk, boxed sets are good. A book from a box set and a packet of crayons/hair clips can cost £3-£4.

1. I am running out of present ideas

DD's mates all get pretty much the same type of thing from us, I can't be bothered to think of different gifts for different children other than boy/girl specific.

1. I'd like to be able to plan something else sometimes than just how to get to this that and the other party (and have to drag ds2 along)

Is your ds old enough to leave? DD's mates are all starting to turn 5 and some of them are now left. One on one time with ds2

1. We might actually get a look in to book ds' own party

Don't bother or just use the parties as trial runs - which venue does your ds enjoy parties at the most?

1. I now feel like we have to have a party for him

No need to feel like this - dd is active on the party circuit but not everyone has a party and no-one thinks anything of it ime.

1. It will be expensive because there will be so many return invites plus the ones we want to invite

You don't have to do return invites for the sake of it
Or, book a church hall and an entertainer so that the cost is pretty much the same regardless of number of invitees - that's what we did when dd turned 4. Food for children's party is cheap unless you are buying a meal per child at soft play. You could have a joint party with another child who has a birthday at the same time (also did this when dd turned 4 and so did many of her peers' parents, a godsend as it seriously cut the number of invitations)

HTH

[mabanana]

My son has Asperger syndrome and we are pathetically grateful if he gets invited to any parties at all. I could honestly cry at people moaning because their kids are so popular. Would it be better if you were leaving a play centre with your child and found that the party you are being told to vacate the room for is for one of your child's classmates, and your kid is the ONLY one not invited, as happened to someone else with a child with SN? Does this help put things in perspective at all?

[ComeOVeneer]

Mabanana, I am truly sorry, that must be a horrible thing for your son to go through. However, it doesn't mean that our situations aren't an issue for us and we don't have the right to moan about them. 11 patrite in 4 weeks, means a lot of ferrying around, disrupting the whole families weekends and a cost of a good 360 plus on cards/pressies/wrapping etc, plus I've had to sort out a couple of fancy dress costumes tooo. Now in no way as bad as your situation, but I get a little tired being effectively told we shouldn't post about our problems, "because my lot in life is worse". Sorry I don't mean to offend, but it does bug me.

[ComeOVeneer]

patrite? parties

[ComeOVeneer]

Blimey I must preview, not £360 (I'm not that generous ) £60.

[lulabellarama]

I love it. All have to buy is a cheap bit of tat from Woolworths and I get free childcare for an afternoon. My and my DP take the time to go for a nice meal or even go back to bed for an afternoon

[TigerFeet]

Mabanana, I'm sorry that your son is excluded, I really am, it's a really shitty thing for you and him to have to deal with - but I do agree with CoV. The OP is allowed to be pissed off that her family time is taken up with one child's social life.

[mabanana]

Until parties are compulsory, and people decide admission based on the cost of your presents, then I have to say, this seems an extraordinary thing to moan about. My dd is popular and I never moan about it. I think it often helps when you are getting uptight about something to count your blessings, and a popular child is a blessing.

[Turniphead1]

My DD is taking 3 friends to the children's theatre for her 5th birthday. Sometimes, we don't go to all the parties she gets invited to if we have plans etc.