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..to call the school I'm hoping ds1 will go to and tell them about the appalling behaviour of their senior pupils at the supermarket yesterday?

(78 Posts)
Aero Tue 23-Sep-08 12:01:36

This is our local grammar school and some of the sixth formers were at the supermarket at the same time as me around lunchtime. In the car park, a woman driver had obviously annoyed the driver of a carful of lads (I didn't see what she did to irritate him) and the torrent of abuse she received from him afterwards was nothing ordinary, followed by several rude hand gestures and further ranting. This was in front of parents with young children, myself (gladly ds2 was at school), and other shoppers. The Head Prefect was there, and although not directly involved, was telling his mates about it, laughing about it and certainly will know who was driving.

Now this school is top of our list (on our doorstep) if ds manages to get in and tbh, I was not impressed to see senior boys out in uniform conducting themselves like this and if it were my ds1 (in several years time), I would be very annoyed and would want to know so I could discuss it with him in the hope that such a thing wouldn't occur again.

WWYD - would you call or am I over-reacting?

mumblechum Tue 23-Sep-08 12:04:19

I think you should tell the school.

DS goes to a grammar as well and they are v v hot on the reputation the kids have in the town.

Once the school newsletter said some kids were pratting around in the road, almost causing accidents and they all got a bollocking.

Definitely give the head/deputy head a ring or email them.

mumblechum Tue 23-Sep-08 12:05:01

Just out of interest, does the town begin with M?

nickytwotimes Tue 23-Sep-08 12:06:13

I agree - call the school. Most schools are pretty hot on their pupils behaving reasonably when out and about at lunchtime.

Aero Tue 23-Sep-08 12:06:55

No, but the area does. Best not name it here though.

DaphneMoon Tue 23-Sep-08 12:11:46

Yep def contact the school, our local Grammar is hot on out of school behaviour too and so it should be. In fact all schools should.

mayorquimby Tue 23-Sep-08 12:12:24

i'd leave it.it's not really any of your bussiness and these kind of things happen all the time in car parks when two motorists get into a dispute. the only reason this is any different is because they are in a uniform and teenagers.
if it was a professional in a suit you wouldn't have any where to complain to.

Yanda Tue 23-Sep-08 12:25:27

Possibly unreasonable, as you didn't see the whole situation and would you be as bothered if it wasn't the school you want to send your DS to?

sitdownpleasegeorge Tue 23-Sep-08 12:26:40

Listen to that little voice in your head and do tell the school.

Think of the other motorist who experienced verbal abuse.

The driver of the carful of lads can't have has his licence more than a 12 months and already he is being abusive to other road users. Give the headteacher ammunition to nip it in the bud while they can.

Also point out that the Head Prefect witnessed the matter and laughed about it with his mates. It seems he was appointed to office based on popularity/sporting prowess or some other spurious reason, not because he is a mature socially responsible teenager.

Shame on anyone who says it's none of your business, standards of behaviour are declining rapidly in UK society because people don't speak out against unacceptable behaviour when they could.

The issue of this being different because of the teenagers being identifiable by uniform is irrelevant. The car is registered to someone and if only the registration had been taken by another witness the road rage/abuse incident could have been reported to the police.

I'd want my son taken to task over such behaviour whilst he was a teenager in the hope that it would be a good lesson learned to carry into adulthood.

2beornot2be Tue 23-Sep-08 12:28:14

I think you should just leave it since it was not directed to you and clearly none of your business, How do you know the lady was not rude to them first I am sure if she is that bothered she would call the school herself since they were in uniform

Aero Tue 23-Sep-08 12:29:39

The only reason I feel it is my business though is that I want to send my child there and tbh if they're allowed to behave like this while out in uniform representing the school, then I'd have reservations about my first choice of school. I certainly would want ds's knucked rapped, so to speak, ny a teacher in authority if he were ever to behave like this.

The boy concerned was aggressive and abusive. Not nice. Would you be ok with it if it were your child behaving in this way? Road rage isn't acceptable in any circumstances and his agression made me nervous (hence I said nothing at the time), but I think perhaps a word from the HT might make him think twice next time.

MamaG Tue 23-Sep-08 12:33:18

I agree with sitdownpleasegeorge, I do think you should report it aero.

kitbit Tue 23-Sep-08 12:33:19

When I was at school we had a uniform and it was drummed into us that while we wore that uniform we were ambassadors for the school. Very true - if you see a crowd of uniformed kids behaving badly it does reflect badly on the school as you wonder how and what they are being taught. If it were me I'd ring the school. If I was the head teacher I would want to be sure that the local view of my school was good.

Mum2OliverJames Tue 23-Sep-08 12:34:40

i would def speak out and tell school!

"you wouldnt have anywhere to report it if it was someone in a suit"

thats completely different, these children are learning, they need to learn what behaviour is accectpable and what is not.
if they then still grow up to be an a*hole then that is their problem, at least you did what you could to help them becoming a good upstnading citizen.

Bramshott Tue 23-Sep-08 12:34:54

I would definitely ring the school, for all the reasons sitdownpleasegeorge has expressed more eloquently than I could. The kids need to learn that this is not acceptable (and it's NOT, whatever the other driver might have said to them) and they won't learn that unless someone tells them.

justaboutlikeshomebrew Tue 23-Sep-08 12:35:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kammy Tue 23-Sep-08 12:37:32

I agree with sitdown - we all have a responsibility to challenge unacceptable behaviour - sadly we often don't because of intimidation or fear of reprisal.

Phone the school.

UnquietDad Tue 23-Sep-08 12:38:03

Our headmaster uses to tell us "you are ambassadors for the school" and made it clear that our behaviour outside school premises should reflect well on us and the school. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Dandelioness Tue 23-Sep-08 12:39:40

'If they're allowed to behave like this while out in uniform representing the shcool'...

So while they in uniform they have to behave a certain way - and it's the school's responsibility to ensure they do - but when they take that uniform of, they can behave how they like?

Sorry, don't agree. Is the school really responsible for how kids behave when they're not at school - what about the parents or the boys themselves being in control of how they conduct themselves? They shouldn't behave like that whether they're in school uniform or not, but the fact is they're a group of teenage boys and they're going to behave like tossers on occassion (and you didn't see the whole incident).

I don't think you should call the school because, to be honest, I get the impresson you wouldn't if it wasn't a school you were interested in. I get the impression you're more concerned about the reputation and codes of behaviour of the school than you are about the feelings of the woman. She is the one who should report it to the school, if anyone does.

witchandchips Tue 23-Sep-08 12:40:19

I remember what happened at my school when such incidents got reported. The head would report it in assembly, everyone would laugh and then spend the whole morning trying to find out who did it. The children in question would then be hailed as heros by the school
i might call the head though and ask what he and she does to prevent such behaviour, always going to get some children behaving badly the question is whether there is a culture amongst the pupils that justifies it or lauds it

witchandchips Tue 23-Sep-08 12:40:35

I remember what happened at my school when such incidents got reported. The head would report it in assembly, everyone would laugh and then spend the whole morning trying to find out who did it. The children in question would then be hailed as heros by the school
i might call the head though and ask what he and she does to prevent such behaviour, always going to get some children behaving badly the question is whether there is a culture amongst the pupils that justifies it or lauds it

witchandchips Tue 23-Sep-08 12:40:37

I remember what happened at my school when such incidents got reported. The head would report it in assembly, everyone would laugh and then spend the whole morning trying to find out who did it. The children in question would then be hailed as heros by the school
i might call the head though and ask what he and she does to prevent such behaviour, always going to get some children behaving badly the question is whether there is a culture amongst the pupils that justifies it or lauds it

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Tue 23-Sep-08 12:40:54

I phoned a school to report a child had run out in front of my car (albeit on a pelican crossing) as they shouldn't have been out of school at that time and they could have caused an accident and harm to themselves. Luckily I had slowed down anyway and the lady behind had too but I was hsaken up for wuite a while.

The school appreciated me ringing. I would ring but not mention you might want to send your children there.

Dandelioness Tue 23-Sep-08 12:43:41

"Also point out that the Head Prefect witnessed the matter and laughed about it with his mates. It seems he was appointed to office based on popularity/sporting prowess or some other spurious reason, not because he is a mature socially responsible teenager."

Sitdown, how can you make an assumption like that when all you know about the boy is second-hand info from one person who saw him for about five minutes on one occassion? Dont' we all have good and bad moments? I don't think he should have been laughing, but to conclude that he must have got his role due to a 'spurious reason' is a bit much.

Idobelieveinfairies Tue 23-Sep-08 12:43:52

I would phone......especially as the head prefect was there-he should know better than to laugh about it!

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