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to be so very angry

(16 Posts)
choufleur Mon 22-Sep-08 19:51:46

In-laws came over today to see DS. Ds (2.6) has been blowing rasberries all day it is very annoying, particularly as he spits whenever he does it. After MIL and step FIL arrived i asked him to stop doing it as it was becoming irritaing. He continued do it, so I said i would take a toy away if he didn't stop. DS did it again so the toy went. FIL held his hand up saying 'if you don't stop that you see this big hand'.

I know he didn't hit DS but the threat of it has made me really angry. DS is only 2 1/2 and wasn't really being naughty.

Also worries me as in-laws look after DS one afternoon a month while i'm at work, and i don't know what happens when I'm not there.

I feel a bit OTT to be this angry as DS was not actually smacked.

noonki Mon 22-Sep-08 19:54:59

I would tell them openly that you never want to smack or threaten to smack your children.

and give them whatever 'behaviourial techniques' (can;t think of better phrase) you are currently using

it is much better for DCs to have everyone who looks after them doign the same things, I regularly update my childminder as to how we are trying to manage any cheeky behaviour

ethanchristopher Mon 22-Sep-08 19:55:26

if you dont agree with smacking then you need to make that clear to your IL

ask father in law if he slaps ds when he is at their house?

ask dh if he got smacked as a child

gem1981 Mon 22-Sep-08 19:58:47

yanbu

but you need to tell them that you don't approve of this otherwise they will never know and carrying on doing it.

choufleur Mon 22-Sep-08 20:01:24

MIL knows full well that we have never smacked Ds and don't approve of it as a punishment. Problem is she 'smacked her DCs and it didn't do them any harm'.

I did tell FIL not to do that, but probably not in a firm enough manner. TBH was a bit shocked taht he did if after i had just took DS's toy away.

hotbot Mon 22-Sep-08 20:32:41

now my mum is pro smacking - not beating just a tap we do not approve- convo overheard th eother day my dad to dd, if you do that again your hand will get tapped- mum,,, hotbot and hotbots dh and dont do that thank god...... smiled to myself happily

hotbot Mon 22-Sep-08 20:33:10

now my mum is pro smacking - not beating just a tap we do not approve- convo overheard th eother day my dad to dd, if you do that again your hand will get tapped- mum,,, hotbot and hotbots dh and dont do that thank god...... smiled to myself happily

hotbot Mon 22-Sep-08 20:33:14

now my mum is pro smacking - not beating just a tap we do not approve- convo overheard th eother day my dad to dd, if you do that again your hand will get tapped- mum,,, hotbot and hotbots dh and dont do that thank god...... smiled to myself happily

hotbot Mon 22-Sep-08 20:34:25

doh !!! sorry anyway your parenting your way

justaflyingvisit Mon 22-Sep-08 21:32:18

yanbu - probably better to ignore the raspberry blowing, it seems to be working on the attention seeking front

LavenderTea Mon 22-Sep-08 21:40:54

Is it a generational thing??
My gran used to say if I was naughty at her house she would get her big stick out of the cupboard.
When she passed away, we looked. No big stick in her cupboard at all !!!!! shock

WallOfSilence Mon 22-Sep-08 21:45:54

I wouldn't let them slap my son, but I also wouldn't take a toy away for him blowing raspberries, seems a perfectly natural thing for a 2.6 yr old child to do

MrsBates Mon 22-Sep-08 21:46:08

My grandad threatened, jokingly, to hit my brother with a cane. My dad made us all leave and he never went to see my grandad again. He died 7 years later. I suspect there
WAS something in his cupboard that Dad had been quite familiar with. Explains a certain chill in their relationship I guess but Dad wouldn't talk about it.

I would be pissed off if I were you.

SlartyBartFast Mon 22-Sep-08 21:51:48

but do you know he meant it?

choufleur Mon 22-Sep-08 22:07:09

spoken to dh who is away at the mo, who is going to speak to FIL when he's back.

wallofsilence i took the toy away as he was spitting in people's faces in teh process of blowing rasberries. I had ignored it all day up until they arrived.

i think he meant it - he's a bully.

SlartyBartFast Mon 22-Sep-08 22:35:22

shame you didnt say it at the time.. otherwise you had better warn them

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