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To be upset with my MIL for refusing to help pay for DS's photos.

(44 Posts)
BabbaMamma Mon 22-Sep-08 13:47:49

My MIL has absolutely spoilt her great nephew rotten. She buys him everything he could ever need to the point where we don't know what to get him for his birthday as he has everything twice- once at home and once at her house. She talks about him none stop (even DPs nana said she's sick of hearing about the nephew and thinks MIl should try talking about her GS once in a while).

Anyway, she's gone out with her husband a few times this week and got absolutely leathered and got home falling down drunk. She thinks she's really cool for it and kept going on about it.

We entered DS into a cute baby competition thing as we thought the portraits were free nd we couldn't afford to pay to get them done ourselves. Turns out you have to buy the pictures. DS's is absolutely gorgeous- the cutest pictures ever taken of him. But we can't afford to buy them ourselves, so we laid the cards on the table and said we were very embarressed but we'd put to it what would could and we'd be very grtesful if anyone could spare a little towards it.

My mum said of course and put money in. SIL said yes and put money in.

Before we'd even finished our sentences MIl said 'No way, I'm skint, I'm not putting money in'. Yet she was going out all weekend drinking, and she has started buying her great nephews xmas prezzies.

DP was very embarressed as we never ask for anything and it's really obvious that she won't buy anything for DS but she spoils this other kid.

So I asked SIL to come and help me pick which picture to use for the baby competition and MIL got pissed off that I havn't asked her to go.

So I'm really disappointed in her, AND she wants one of the pictures. Which I'll give her anyway as I don't want to be rude, but I think it's cheeky.


cornsilk Mon 22-Sep-08 13:48:48


Lauriefairycake Mon 22-Sep-08 13:49:40

what a weird woman hmm someone who hasn't enough love to go round for both

Her money, she can choose what to spend it on. Your feelings, of course you have a right to be upset smile

Fimbo Mon 22-Sep-08 13:49:41

Unreasonable. Her money, up to her what she wants to do with it.

Octothechildherder Mon 22-Sep-08 13:49:41

YANBU - don't give her a pic.

cornsilk Mon 22-Sep-08 13:50:02

Sorry if that was a bit blunt - didn't mean to press the button then! But yes I think YABU even if your MIL is a lush it's her money.

BabbaMamma Mon 22-Sep-08 13:50:20

Fimbo- don't you think it's rude and cruel on her part to favour one child?

Dropdeadfred Mon 22-Sep-08 13:50:49

you'll give her one???

no way - tell her she can buy it from you when she next has some money!!! angry

haven't you ever asked her why she cares more about her great nephew instead of her own GS?

AnarchyAunt Mon 22-Sep-08 13:50:50

Yes. She can do what the hell she likes with her own money.

And cute baby competitions are revolting.

onepieceoflollipop Mon 22-Sep-08 13:52:07

I can understand why you are hurt but YABU. My ils spend a lot of money on stuff that I wouldn't choose to spend it on, and are not generous with the gcs particularly but that is their prerogative and I don't really think about it.

Saturn74 Mon 22-Sep-08 13:52:50

You should have read the small print re the photos.
Why on earth would you think the portraits were for free?

What your MIL spends her money on is none of your business.
Perhaps she thinks you should learn from your own mistakes, and not assume she would bail you out?

onepieceoflollipop Mon 22-Sep-08 13:52:55

It is of course wrong that she seems to favour one child, but that isn't the main point of the op (unless I missed that)

Fimbo Mon 22-Sep-08 13:53:26

Look my mil favours her daughter's children over those of her 2 sons. Dh's niece and nephew get far more than my dd or ds ever do.

Nothing I can do about it, I just accept it and thats that.

Agree with AA's comment about baby compeitions but would have put it rather more delicately!

BabbaMamma Mon 22-Sep-08 13:55:21

Each to their own though eh? And I'd like to put him in the baby competition, it's lovely. And it simply said '£3'. That was just to enter, but I'd love to get the pictures as they're just gorgeous, he was giggling his head off on it.

VinegarTits Mon 22-Sep-08 13:55:31

YANBU to be upset with her, of course its her money and she can do what she likes with it, but she cant expect to have a pic, or be involved in picking pics, if she isnt willing to contribute. She sounds like a cow.

RubySlippers Mon 22-Sep-08 13:56:17


but this clearly runs a lot deeper than some photos

Charlee Mon 22-Sep-08 13:56:18

My sister has her kids pictures done reguarly and its always the rule, if we wnat one we put some money in, if not she just gets one for herself.

I would except the fact that she isn't going to chip in but not give her one. If she asks why tell her!

As for favouring the other child i am afraid i would have to say something quietly in her ear......

RubySlippers Mon 22-Sep-08 13:57:13

if you think you have been ripped off by the photographer then you should tackle it with them

did it really only say £3?

if so, then i would pursue them about it

4andnotout Mon 22-Sep-08 13:57:28

YABU If you want the pictures you should pay for them, not expect other people to pay.

ingles2 Mon 22-Sep-08 14:00:32

Sorry but YABU...
If it was a high street photographer or one of those in Boots or whereever you could buy 1 picture for about £10 surely?

BabbaMamma Mon 22-Sep-08 14:00:46

I don't EXPECT her to pay, i expect her not to want one if she's not going to pay. And I expect her not to want to pick which picture is going in the paper.

It said £3, but that's just to enter the competition which I'm not overly bothered about, it just happened not to mention there's a whopping charge if you want the pictures.

I know she paid for the other kid's pictures which annoys me even more. It's like she can't be bothered with DS at all.

VinegarTits Mon 22-Sep-08 14:02:28

Oh come on people, the mil sounds like a bitch, i would be upset too if i were you.

Octothechildherder Mon 22-Sep-08 14:03:00

If I had no money and my mum wanted a pic I would expect her to pay for it. But my mum wouldn't either, so I wouldn;t order one.

ingles2 Mon 22-Sep-08 14:03:23

well just tell you her it'll cost £X for the pic if she wants one. Whats that got to do with her coming over with SIL to look at the pics. That doesn't cost anything.

nervousal Mon 22-Sep-08 14:05:28

yup - if you want them you pay for them, if she wants one she pays for it.

And baby competitions are horrible

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