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I think DH has been selfish this morning, he doesn't - surprise.

(25 Posts)
everlong Sun 21-Sep-08 13:49:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

differentID Sun 21-Sep-08 13:56:55

most definitely not. If you wanted to be unreasonable, sell his bike and tell him he can forget about the biking until he pulls his finger out and does his share with the family and house. Alternatively, reverse the car over the bike.

SmugColditz Sun 21-Sep-08 13:57:32

no you're not.

LazyLinePainterJane Sun 21-Sep-08 14:02:57

YANBU, you have been extremely accommodating wrt his hobby and now you are asking if you can have a family day trip? Miserable fucker, go without him, have a great time and leave him to mow the grass.

compo Sun 21-Sep-08 14:04:21

why didn't you go without him?

RubySlippers Sun 21-Sep-08 14:06:25

there is nothing wrong with hobbies

but everyone should have time to do the things they want

and family time shouldn't be compromised


and as Compo says, i would have shoved the kids in the car and gone on to the seaside

crokky Sun 21-Sep-08 14:09:22

Would definately go without him.

DH putting his crap first has resulted in me taking kids to Thomasland and Longleat without him. His loss.

VinegarTits Sun 21-Sep-08 14:09:34

Compo - I think she didnt go on her own because she wanted to go as a family, and for her dh not to think about himself for a change, and do something the dc might enjoy smile

YANBU, he is being very selfish

unknownrebelbang Sun 21-Sep-08 14:12:51


And whilst I'm sure everlong is quite capable of taking her DC out by herself, I think she expected DH to want to spend some time with his family.

babymt Sun 21-Sep-08 14:14:28

Thank god I'm not alone!! I jokily refer to myself as a cycling widow as dh seems to be spending so much time cycling at the mo including weekends which I think should be equal time.

He is doing a charity cycle ride so I can't overly complain. And he says I'm welcome to go out whenever I want and its not his fault I a. haven't got anywhere to go b. anyone to go with or c. the inclination as I'm pregnant and exhausted.

Anyway no YANBU. Going out at weekends should be an equal decision. If you got to lake district one weekend then the next you should get to choose where you all go. Its only fair.

everlong Sun 21-Sep-08 15:21:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog Sun 21-Sep-08 15:26:37

No, don't go without him, it allows him to wriggle out of his responsibilities.
What is wrong with these blokes who don't want to be with their families and babuies??

VinegarTits Sun 21-Sep-08 15:38:44

Blimey, hes getting all that time to himself and he cant even spend one day out with you and the kids!

Slash his tyres.

moondog Sun 21-Sep-08 15:40:45

does he spend 4 hours each time he goes out, ie 2/3 times a week . in other words 12 hours a week.

everlong Sun 21-Sep-08 17:02:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog Sun 21-Sep-08 17:32:16


UnquietDad Sun 21-Sep-08 17:35:28

Do you have a hobby or favourite leisure activity? If so how does the time he spends on his compare with the time you spend on yours?

Klaw Sun 21-Sep-08 17:36:53

YANBU, And no I wouldn't have gone on my own either as I'm sick fed up being alone with kids. Hurts when you see other families put together

BABYMT <<waves frantically>>

yomellamoHelly Sun 21-Sep-08 17:59:36

Invest in a padlock. Next time this happens lock up his bike. Leave him to "mow the lawn" and disappear or the day! (Only joking - but it would hit home!) I'd have been fuming too.

Judy1234 Sun 21-Sep-08 19:01:19

You need to ensure you spend the same amount of time on your hobby per week as he does and that he often has sole care of the children for a day at weekends whilst you're pursuing it, never mind the family outings.

UnquietDad Sun 21-Sep-08 19:31:05

Be honest, you wouldn't want him not to have a hobby. People with no interests outside work and family are dull. So the issue is not the hobby, but how much time he spends on it. You just need to sit down and agree what is a reasonable amount of time per week to devote to it.

The occasional weekend surely won't hurt. (Some men go off the football every Saturday rain or shine, after all - no questions asked. My DW wouldn't put up with that and I suspect nor would you.)

PinkyDinkyDooToo Sun 21-Sep-08 20:28:54

YANBU. The coast was for the enjoyment of the chidren and it shouldn't matter if its not his thing. He should enjoy it just by seeing his DC enjoy it

everlong Sun 21-Sep-08 20:59:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Judy1234 Sun 21-Sep-08 21:50:13

So what about you being out every Saturday aftenroon, shopping, gym, running etc and he has the children as a reasonable swap?

Anifrangapani Sun 21-Sep-08 21:54:02

I find adjusting the gears so they get chain suck or some other minor, but truly irritating problem with the bike puts them off going out so often..... wink

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