to be really mad at my director? [angry]

[Ewe]

I had some ishoos with the accounts team today regarding there calculations of my revenue and bonus, they were in the wrong and they were incredibly unhelpful, refusing to discuss any of the many solutions to the problem I suggested. I was very frustrated and towards the end of the conversation I was visibly annoyed with them. Anyway, the issue was sorted in the end.

One of the directors then emailed my line manager who is on holiday and all her emails go through to me, he knoew this and had asked me only hours earlier. The email was from the FD who manages the accounts team saying:

"Ewe's attitude where apparently she came round and basically demanded that it had to change was not well received. I can understand she has a sick child but I think we both agree that we need to maintain the good finance/Ewe's team relationship and I don?t want to get my guys offside"

I am SOOOO angry, yes my attitude wasn't great but it was because they had messed up NOT anything to do with my sick child? I am still fuming about this, so, AIBU?

[cmotdibbler]

YANBU. As they know the emails go to you, I'd reply and say very calmly that if he has a problem with you, you'd appreciate it if he came to you to resolve it first. Very calm, very reasonable, just the facts. Then if there is an issue with what they are doing, ask that you can have a meeting to try and resolve these.

[Ewe]

I knew I should have put a shocked/disgusted/appalled/revolted or similar emotive word in the title [sigh]

I just don't belong in AIBU

[Janos]

YANBU!!

I hate this kind of sexist attitude in the workplace.

I'd be furious at this kind of comment too.

[AMumInScotland]

I'd be fizzing personally - basically what he's saying is "we can't expect her to be professional, but she could try"

Assuming you're not overwrought and hysterical , if I was you I'd reply pointing out exactly what the failings of his team were which caused you to be angry at their attitude, and suggest how they could improve their service.

[Ewe]

x-post!

I was too angry to deal with it today but need to tomorrow. I did contemplate just emailing back saying I don't think you meant this for me and see what he said.

[Janos]

Not very eloquent of me (it's getting a wee bit late for me and I'm tired). But just to reiterate - YANBU.

What's your directors excuse, that he's an ignorant nobboid?

[squeaver]

"get my guys offside" WTF?

YANBU. I'd actually think about copying in HR on your (professional and reasoned) response.

[Ewe]

Maybe I could just steretype him (like he has me) as a typical sexist Australian? Just like I'm an incapable of keeping my emotional side under control working Mum.

DD only has a cold and conjunctivitis, he only knows this because he saw me in the lift coming in late as she choked on her pleghm as I was dropping her at nursery. Hardly a major thing that would impact my performance

[Janos]

I'm being unprofessional, sorry..

Would it be the done thing to say something like 'I saw this email and am very concerned by your comments. Please could you contact me directly to discuss any issues you are concerned about - you arrogant tosspot'

Maybe leaving out the last three words?

[Ewe]

But the last three words are the best bit!

[Twiglett]

something along the lines of

Dear xx

As you are aware,

[AMumInScotland]

Seriously? He's implying to your manager that your performance and attitude are being affected by your child's illness, and it's just a cold and conjunctivitis???!!! What a complete knob! I'd definitely get HR involved. No way that's a reasonable way to discuss a member of staff with their manager.

[blueskythinker]

Great e-mail Twiglett.

I would tweak slightly:

I do apologise for my obvious frustration with your department over their error on the calculations of my revenue and bonus.

[Ewe]

I am so glad, I was absolutely livid earlier and XP thought I was being a bit precious. Very relieved IANBU

Will send him an email tomorrow I think and mention it to my HR Director as I have lunch with her tomorrow to review my first few weeks back from mat leave.

[squeaver]

Your HR director's going to have a canary.

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Twig's email is perfect.