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to be really mad at my director? [angry]

(18 Posts)
Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:05:43

I had some ishoos with the accounts team today regarding there calculations of my revenue and bonus, they were in the wrong and they were incredibly unhelpful, refusing to discuss any of the many solutions to the problem I suggested. I was very frustrated and towards the end of the conversation I was visibly annoyed with them. Anyway, the issue was sorted in the end.

One of the directors then emailed my line manager who is on holiday and all her emails go through to me, he knoew this and had asked me only hours earlier. The email was from the FD who manages the accounts team saying:

"Ewe's attitude where apparently she came round and basically demanded that it had to change was not well received. I can understand she has a sick child but I think we both agree that we need to maintain the good finance/Ewe's team relationship and I don’t want to get my guys offside"

I am SOOOO angry, yes my attitude wasn't great but it was because they had messed up NOT anything to do with my sick child? I am still fuming about this, so, AIBU?

cmotdibbler Thu 18-Sep-08 21:12:17

YANBU. As they know the emails go to you, I'd reply and say very calmly that if he has a problem with you, you'd appreciate it if he came to you to resolve it first. Very calm, very reasonable, just the facts. Then if there is an issue with what they are doing, ask that you can have a meeting to try and resolve these.

Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:12:51

I knew I should have put a shocked/disgusted/appalled/revolted or similar emotive word in the title [sigh]

I just don't belong in AIBU

Janos Thu 18-Sep-08 21:13:40


I hate this kind of sexist attitude in the workplace.

I'd be furious at this kind of comment too.

AMumInScotland Thu 18-Sep-08 21:14:10

I'd be fizzing personally - basically what he's saying is "we can't expect her to be professional, but she could try" shock

Assuming you're not overwrought and hysterical smile, if I was you I'd reply pointing out exactly what the failings of his team were which caused you to be angry at their attitude, and suggest how they could improve their service.

Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:14:48


I was too angry to deal with it today but need to tomorrow. I did contemplate just emailing back saying I don't think you meant this for me and see what he said.

Janos Thu 18-Sep-08 21:15:17

Not very eloquent of me (it's getting a wee bit late for me and I'm tired). But just to reiterate - YANBU.

What's your directors excuse, that he's an ignorant nobboid?

squeaver Thu 18-Sep-08 21:17:56

"get my guys offside" WTF?

YANBU. I'd actually think about copying in HR on your (professional and reasoned) response.

Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:19:05

Maybe I could just steretype him (like he has me) as a typical sexist Australian? Just like I'm an incapable of keeping my emotional side under control working Mum.

DD only has a cold and conjunctivitis, he only knows this because he saw me in the lift coming in late as she choked on her pleghm as I was dropping her at nursery. Hardly a major thing that would impact my performance angry

Janos Thu 18-Sep-08 21:19:51

I'm being unprofessional, sorry..

Would it be the done thing to say something like 'I saw this email and am very concerned by your comments. Please could you contact me directly to discuss any issues you are concerned about - you arrogant tosspot'

Maybe leaving out the last three words?

Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:25:46

But the last three words are the best bit!

Twiglett Thu 18-Sep-08 21:26:04

something along the lines of

Dear xx

As you are aware, <line manager's name>'s emails are currently redirected to my account as <line manager> is on holiday.

I feel it is important then that I respond to your concerns and reassure you that our departments can continue to work well together.

I do apologise for my obvious frustration with your department over the error on the calculations of my revenue and bonus. I feel it important however to point out that this is certainly not due to any stress in my personal life.

I am pleased to confirm that the error in calculation has now been rectified.

If you would like to discuss this further with me, please call me on ext xxx.



AMumInScotland Thu 18-Sep-08 21:29:54

Seriously? He's implying to your manager that your performance and attitude are being affected by your child's illness, and it's just a cold and conjunctivitis???!!! shock What a complete knob! I'd definitely get HR involved. No way that's a reasonable way to discuss a member of staff with their manager.

StewiesMom Thu 18-Sep-08 21:32:51

Message withdrawn

blueskythinker Thu 18-Sep-08 21:39:33

Great e-mail Twiglett.

I would tweak slightly:

I do apologise for my obvious frustration with your department over their error on the calculations of my revenue and bonus.

Ewe Thu 18-Sep-08 21:41:19

I am so glad, I was absolutely livid earlier and XP thought I was being a bit precious. Very relieved IANBU

Will send him an email tomorrow I think and mention it to my HR Director as I have lunch with her tomorrow to review my first few weeks back from mat leave.

squeaver Thu 18-Sep-08 21:43:09

Your HR director's going to have a canary.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Thu 18-Sep-08 21:49:49

Twig's email is perfect.

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