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To join my mate in complaining to school? not sure.

(17 Posts)
DisasterAreaIsOffToCostaRica Thu 18-Sep-08 19:30:36

my mate lives down the road. her DD and mine (both 10 yr 6) often walk down to school together. my DD being insane and clingy insists i walk with them which is fine.
today i had to go straight to work so when DDs friend called i offered to drive them both down. so i did. then walked them accross a road and saw them both in through the gate.

scroll forward a couple of hours. about 11.30 i'm in a meeting. get phone message - phone DH URGENTLY. so i did.
he tells me that DDs friend's mother - my mate has just rung him to tell him that the school had phoned her to tell her that her DD had not turned up for school and to ask what i had done with them that morning - whether i had walked all the way to school or not.

me - eeek. told him what i had done - he phones her - she phones the school. they say oh. don't worry i'm sure she'll turn up.

i worry about this and am about to set off for home when DH rings back to say that school had rung mate back to let her know that they'd found her. she wasn't missing, and the register had been marked wrong.

so in some ways i'm rather pleased that they have a system where they notify parents if child doesn't turn up at school - albeit 2 and a half hours later.

but the whole attitude of 'don't worry, she'll turn up'. stinks.

all sorts of things had run through my mind. did she really go in to school. what if she'd come back out. where was she... was my DD in school.etc etc
my mate not knowing if i'd walked them down. if her DD had ever got to school and if not where was she.

so do i complain to the school along with my mate?

nickytwotimes Thu 18-Sep-08 19:33:38

I understand why you are so upset, but human error happens. i'd have been scared witless tbh, but what can the school really do, other than apologise?
"I'm sure she'll turn up" was perhaps a little mis-judged.

DisasterAreaIsOffToCostaRica Thu 18-Sep-08 19:35:42

yes - acceot that it was an easy mistake to make but it is that bit that is bothering me. and my mate. and they haven't apologised. yet.

S1ur Thu 18-Sep-08 19:37:02

I'm not sure about complaining really. It sounds like a straight forward cock up on the register.

Policy is to call home to check and get excuses reasons for absent children. So they did. But on finding out that dc is NOT at home they say don't worry (ok she'll turn up not very sensitive!) and then they go and check with teacher.

Seems straightforward to me and not something to complain about.

Issues for you and mate though.

If you are not confident then you should see dds into classroom maybe.
Check what time pupils are responsibility of school from and deliever them to a member of staff.

But tbh I don't think you need to, school gate sounds fine.

nickytwotimes Thu 18-Sep-08 19:38:14

They should definitely apologise and I think if you got in touch they would do so immediately.
The remark was probably made by some silly misguided person. I wouldn't see it as being representative of the school, lol.

S1ur Thu 18-Sep-08 19:40:08

I dunno DA, saying not to worry she'll turn up is alright really I think, in that they just meant don't worry she is almost certainly here and its an error with the reg, I'll just go and check.

Course actually saying,
don't worry I'm almost certain she'll be here and its an error with the reg, I'll just go and check.

would have been better.

Still wouldn't complain personally.

DisasterAreaIsOffToCostaRica Thu 18-Sep-08 19:40:13

i'd bloody hope it wasn't representative of the school. 'your DD has been missing for nearly 3 hours but don't worry.....'

bamboostalks Thu 18-Sep-08 19:40:26

It was a mistake, get over it. Are you expecting a written apology? I find it difficult to believe that the person who rang to say your dd was safe did not apologise at that point.

DisasterAreaIsOffToCostaRica Thu 18-Sep-08 19:45:59

no was v flippant and breezy.
want them to grovel on hands and knees. in the mud.

Bettyboobird Thu 18-Sep-08 19:53:16

The register is a legal document. A teacher can be sacked for filling it in incorrectly-that is why every teacher I know would make every possible effort to ensure there are no errors.

Therefore I 'm sure this mistake was just that, a big mistake. The receptionist may have meant, she'll turn up, as in, she's somewhere in the school so she'll turn up in a minute. But if that is what she meant, she should have said that!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 18-Sep-08 20:00:37

This happened to me. I called a parent about their 'absent' child. She wasn't absent, the teacher had cocked up the register.

Mum was panic stricken, I was mortified, legged it down the corridor to find said child happily sitting in class.

Mistakes do happen, but I apologised as did the teacher at the end of the day. I'm shocked they didn't think to apologise.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 18-Sep-08 20:07:07

Good to see that schools do phone up if an absence has not been reported but child is marked absent on register, howver shouldn't it be policy that when this happens a check of the classroom is made before phoning what is going to be a very worried parent.

Grumpalina Thu 18-Sep-08 20:16:07

This happened with me. I dropped my DS1 off at school slightly late due to a traffic (literally about 5 mins). I mentioned to my parents the problem with the traffic in conversation as they were looking after DS2 at my house. When I got back from work my Mum said the school had rung up at 11 (again 2 hours after I'd dropped him off) asking why he wasn't in school. She told him as far as she was concerned I'd dropped him off (and mentioned my comment about the traffic). She was told fine she'd go and check (obviously this was the school secretary not the teacher). I think what was said to you was a poor turn of phrase as BBB says. Anyway they didn't ring back (Mum didn't think anything of it!!!)and my mother never even told me about the call until I returned home but by that point they'd pikced up DS1 safe and well at school. It turned out he'd missed the register due to being late and should have gone to the school secretary to sign in but he was new and the teacher didn't think to tell him.

I don't think it worth complaining about. It sounds like a poor turn of phrase and they have obviously got good procedures for ensuring children are in school.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 18-Sep-08 20:26:46

I don't agree Captain. The teacher should be trusted to mark the register correctly. After all if there was a fire you would be relying on it being correct. Plus it already takes sometime to call through the list of absent children without spending time double-checking.

I usually start with Yr6s though as they are the ones often making their own way to school and are therefore more likely to be AWOL.

AMumInScotland Thu 18-Sep-08 20:30:55

I don't think there's anything for you to complain to the school about - the arrangement between you and your friend really doesn't have anything to do with the school. But if I was her I would probably talk to the school about what their policy is - why did it take till nearly 11:30 to check why her DD wasn't on the register, and why didn't they quickly check the classroom before worrying her? I don't think the wording is cause for complaint, though it could hve been put a bit more sensitively - "We've no idea where your child is, but don't worry about it" doesn' come across very well!

LavenderTea Thu 18-Sep-08 20:38:14

I think they the school need to get more professional and apologise. I would complain definitely. Fair enough they weren't worried, but you can't say oh your dd has been missing for 3 hours and just dismiss it as "oh sure she will turn up" I'd be frantic if that was my child, and so should the school.

ShyBaby Thu 18-Sep-08 20:39:58

Our school (ds's former primary, dd's new primary!) are pretty hot on this. On occasion when ds has been ill and I havent called them straight away they are on the phone to me within a very short time asking where he is.

I wouldn't expect a register to be marked wrong, would be worried out of my mind. Possibly it was said in a joking fashion "oh im sure she'll turn up" as in the receptionist was confident the child was actually there, but still worrying. Dont think I would be too happy.

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