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fat bird on beach!!!!!

(101 Posts)
matildax Mon 15-Sep-08 14:28:40

hello, i am having a bit of a 'moment' hmm
i go on a holiday for 1 week next week with my dp and 2 of my dcs (it has taken us nearly 3 years to pay for this, as we are not well off, so its a huge deal for me that we all enjoy ourselves)
now i know its a family holiday, and im not 18 anymore, but im worried about what a state i will look on the beach... and if i will get laughed at, which will upset my dd2.
i know that when i go to the beach, i rarely look at other people (too busy running after kids!!) and i am packing sarongs etc... im just scared i get harpooned!! lol grin joke.
im posting on here, just to ask, do you look at people and think oh lord shes fat, or do you not really care. (im a size 18-20) and have been trying for weeks to shift some weight, it just doesnt come off, i walk daily, and wouldnt say i was mega unfit, but still very very large.
i suppose i just need a bit of encouragement, as my sister called me a a fat loser at the weekend, and i think ive taken this to heart, and feel slightly upset, instead of mega excited!!

tell me to piss of if you want, maybe im just a little bit paranoid at the moment.

and i know its about the kids having a a good time, i just dont feel very good about myself, and really want to snap out of it!!! (i dont want this to taint what should be a lovely carefree fun time for us all)
xx

RubySlippers Mon 15-Sep-08 14:30:52

your sister sounds charming!

No-one but YOU will care what you look like

go and have a great time and enjoy yourself

compo Mon 15-Sep-08 14:31:00

sad
What a horrid thing for your sister to say! No wonder you feel insecure.
people honestly won't be looking. Treat yourself to some new makeup and jewelry to wear with your bikini and you'll feel better in no time.

lulumama Mon 15-Sep-08 14:31:28

people are on the whole, too busy sorting themselves , to gawp at other people on the beach.

your sister is out of order for calling you a fat loser.

average dress size in UK is a 16, so being 18 /20 hardly makes you so huge and out of teh ordinary that people will stop and point!

MmeLindt Mon 15-Sep-08 14:32:09

You sister is a bitch. Is she always so horrible?

I have been 18/20, am now 14/16 so know what it is like, and how hurtful comments like that can be.

Go on holiday, never mind what anyone thinks of you, have fun.

When you come back from holiday, if you want to tackle your weight problem then do so. No point in spoiling your holiday worrying about it.

Fimbo Mon 15-Sep-08 14:32:22

Matildax when you get to the beach, honestly all your fears will fade away.

Ok there will be the usual dolly birds with their boobs out on display but there will be loads and loads of us mere mortals with hang ups about our bodies.

I went to Menorca in May and there were all shapes and sizes on the beach and noone batted an eyelid.

Enjoy your holiday! grin

Notalone Mon 15-Sep-08 14:33:40

Your sister sounds as though she needs a good slap.

Most people are so busy worrying about themselves / chasing their kids / catching rays that they don't look at other people. People will be all shapes and sizes on the beach - bigger than you, smaller than you, hairier than you, etc etc so you won't stand out in any way. My best tip is to maximise your good bits eg fab cleavage, good legs or whatever and minimise the bits you don't like by wearing perhaps a sarong, tankini etc. Hope you have a fab time!

wuzzlefraggle Mon 15-Sep-08 14:33:58

wow - not nice of your sister at all!!

Anyways, don't worry yourself about other people on the beach - they really won't be looking (what ruby said lol)

Have a really great holiday matildax grin

OrmIrian Mon 15-Sep-08 14:35:53

Unfortunately your sister seems to be a cow. Please feel free to disregard her opinion.

I can assure you from what I saw on the beach this summer, the majority of people were far from perfect and no-one cared.

Mutt Mon 15-Sep-08 14:36:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annya Mon 15-Sep-08 14:36:54

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. I bet most people on the beach will a) be too busy running around after their kids/reading to notice everyone else and b) be feeling a bit self conscious about their own bodies anyway. Plus sarongs are great, v flattering.

MaryAnnSingleton Mon 15-Sep-08 14:39:21

not nice of your sister - enjoy your holiday and don't give a second thought to people looking and judging, really I don't think people do that - hey are probably more concerned with their own families and having a jolly time smile

Blu Mon 15-Sep-08 14:39:24

Relax!

Now - I am a seasoned 'people watcher' on the beach, and whilst I will admit to having had ...oh, perhaps a mildly raised eyebrow - at people who totter along in the sand wearing stilettos and a mini-thing only, or hang out in the bar / cafe in a skimpy bikini with no cover-up (so tacky - imo), and have wondered at people who have burned themselves to a painful flourescent pink, I have never, ever had derogatory thoughts about anyone's size or shapes. People look good when they are relaxed, enjoying themselves and being themselves.

Enjoy youself with your family, smile, chill, swim, enjoy the warmth - you will glow, and look happy, relaxed and GOOD!

Unlike your carpy, unkind, mean sister!

herbietea Mon 15-Sep-08 14:40:13

Message withdrawn

LongDroopyBoobyLady Mon 15-Sep-08 14:41:12

I once saw a larger lady on the beach in 90 degree heat dressed in black trousers and black t-shirt. She immediately drew attention to herself because she was bright red and fully clothed. So strip off and enjoy yourself - you deserve it.

ginnny Mon 15-Sep-08 14:43:46

You'll be fine. I always worry about my flabby belly on holiday, but once I get there I couldn't give a toss.
You'll never see any of the people on the beach again so who cares what they think of you.
Like the others say, they will all be watching their kids / reading / frantically trying to hide all their wobbly bits.
As for your sister - what a bitch. She's probably jealous of you going off on holiday.
Have a fab time! smile

noonki Mon 15-Sep-08 14:43:49

Have a fantastic holiday and don't worry about your body,

I spent my teenage years when I was skinny (at points) hating the fact I was flat chested

now I have boobs and worry about my flabby bits

i will look back in 10 years and just be chuffed that my boobs weren't touching my knees

bet you look fab to your partner and who else matters hey!

matildax Mon 15-Sep-08 14:44:32

oh goodness thanks everyone.
fimbo, thats where we are going i love it there, but havent been for 7 years.
compo i have bought some lovely waterproof sparkly makeup that matches my sarongs and bikinis perfectly, so i hope they make me feel good!!
my sisters comment is tame in comparison to what she normally says. i think she is a a bully. my birth family, are all quite mean, but hey ho.
i cried when i read all your replies, (i think im a emotional wreck today)
but thanks everyone, you are very kind
xx

forevercleaning Mon 15-Sep-08 14:47:25

believe me there are all shapes and sizes on the beach. Nobody will be taking any notice. I understand you feel nervous, I always hate the first day at the pool/beach because i think i am so white compared to other people but you soon relax and enjoy.

Have a brilliant time, and dont bother sending your sister a postcard, the cow.

Rhubarb Mon 15-Sep-08 14:49:56

matildax - my dh once said to me that the good looking people on the beach are the ones who are noticed and stared at, everyone else is more or less invisble. And the good looking ones are stared at with a mixture of envy, hatred and lust.

So I'm more than happy to be invisible! It's true that firstly people worry about how they are looking and secondly they check out the good looking ones.

So be confident and happy in your skin. Because I secretly wish I was one of those people who flaunt whatever they size they are without so much as a care in the world!

snice Mon 15-Sep-08 14:50:00

Maybe do some fake tanning before you go-everyone looks better on the first day with brown(ish) legs

Ohforfoxsake Mon 15-Sep-08 14:52:14

Is she jealous by chance?

Get yourself on that beach! If you do feel a bit self-conscious do a bit of prep beforehand. Fake tan, paint your nails, do some grooming. Be confident and you'll look great smile

Rubyrubyruby Mon 15-Sep-08 14:53:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

matildax Mon 15-Sep-08 15:08:32

ohforfoxssake, she is rich and we are what she would call 'poor' she says we dont deserve a holiday, because i am a stay at home mum, and only dp works, so im not contributing.
financially.
she says that i dont deserve my 3 children because i dont work, and i am a second class individual because i live in a council house. hmm

shes not very nice at all, but she does scare me. i did retaliate, and called her a nasty witch who can never say anything nice about anyone..
i was very pleased with myself! smile

anyway im going to hold my head up high, and try to relax, and have the fun filled happy holiday, that i do think we deserve.
thanks everyone and herbietea, have a alovely holiday too smile
xx

compo Mon 15-Sep-08 15:09:30

god I would stay well away from her sad she sounds vile and has very dodgy views.

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