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I know I'm not but here goes.....

(26 Posts)
BornToRun Sun 14-Sep-08 22:32:27

so, had shoulder op two half weeks ago, painful, not allowed to drive, bike, swim etc, great as h booked centreparcs for last week. Ended up sitting around pool, playing left handed bowling, ditto badminton etc. Today he told me i had to try driving coz his daughter (three of his children live with us) needs to get to six form later in day. I woke up this morning with raging sore throat, have cold brewing, today did shopping, cleaning tidying and then had a lie down. Inevitably I fell asleep, not feeling great, mind and body, h comes into bedroom and decides to shout for his son to come and see him, this stirs me, then they have a full discussion in the bedroom where it is obvious I had been asleep. I get up and go out to make coffee, what else can I do, they are having a full blown conversation, and guess what? H has got the nark with me coz I was cross with him for waking me up! Not spoken to me since about 4.30 and I don't give a c**p!

kittywise Sun 14-Sep-08 22:34:10

twat, sympathies to you.

BornToRun Sun 14-Sep-08 22:35:36

Thank you, I am very cross with him.

BornToRun Sun 14-Sep-08 22:54:51

and now it appears he will sleep on the sofa but come upstairs about 5am to shower and go off to work once again waking me.

Onestonetogo Sun 14-Sep-08 22:57:31

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BornToRun Sun 14-Sep-08 23:02:22

He will ignore me. Said I wasn't ready to drive, he said Id be fine. Not doing chores through choice. Think got cold coz Im run down, had op one day, out the next,day after he went to work leaving me with the five children (9-16), not liking him much at the moment.

Saturn74 Sun 14-Sep-08 23:05:45

Follow medical advice.
If they told you not to drive, do not drive.

Have you told your husband how poorly you feel?
Some people need things spelling out to them.

BornToRun Sun 14-Sep-08 23:08:28

I am invisible in our house!

BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 07:44:32

Then he had the cheek to come to bed, snore all night, keep me awake, set his alarm for 5am then text and call me at 6.15 as he had run out of petrol and I had to 'rescue' him.

Saturn74 Mon 15-Sep-08 09:48:14

I would have told him he had to sort the car out himself.
You are not supposed to be driving.

Ashantai Mon 15-Sep-08 09:53:02

Not being funny but i would have told him to take a running jump!

We all know that if a bloke gets a runny nose, they are confined to bed with us running round after them, picking up this and making that, and all the while he is surrounded by monks praying for him!

I dread to think what he would be like if he'd had the op shock

TheHedgeWitch Mon 15-Sep-08 09:56:23

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Janos Mon 15-Sep-08 09:56:52

Hmmm, this sounds somewhat like my XP who insisted I was fine to carry heavy shopping the day after coming home from hospital following an emergency appendectomy.

Of course I wasn't and was in a lot of pain, although I stupidly did it (why?)

I think he could not cope with me being ill.

One of the many reasons he is my XP.

Anyway...YANBU!

But don't bail him out when he behaves like this - they just get worse.

You need to be resting up and deserve some looking after yourself.

rubyloopy Mon 15-Sep-08 10:05:32

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BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 13:31:58

Thanks all, knew I wasn't being unreasonable, needed to vent. He hasn't been in touch since his cry for help, to be honest if I had left him in the lurch he would have gone mental and things would be a lot worse.

Hedgewitch, same op as your dh.

TheHedgeWitch Mon 15-Sep-08 13:56:52

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BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 14:02:38

Thanks for the grrrr Hedgewitch, just how I feel. Good news is he is staying in London tonight so my lovely bed will be mine, all mine and no snoring......bad news is I am off to London with two of the children and we will all be in a family room, grrrrrrrrrr!

kittywise Mon 15-Sep-08 14:25:43

BornToRun, stick to your guns. He is being a child.

BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 14:30:32

Kitty, I know he is, he is such a twit sometimes, I am just so hacked off with him at the moment. If I don't break the ice this will go on for days but I really just can't be bothered, managed to get out today and buy a nice top for tomorrow so feel a little happier.

NorbertDentressangle Mon 15-Sep-08 14:35:31

Sounds like hes being a complete arse

You should not be driving -if you've not got the go-ahead to drive from your consultant or GP then your insurance won't be valid (as well as the fact that physically you could do damage to the shoulder)

kittywise Mon 15-Sep-08 14:36:20

He is expecting you to do that though.

He might actually start to think if you behave 'out of character' i.e. DON"T break the ice this time!

BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 14:37:34

Norbert, complete arse just about sums him up at the moment. He just says "you'll be fine" grrrrr.

TheHedgeWitch Mon 15-Sep-08 17:15:09

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wehaveallbeenthere Mon 15-Sep-08 17:40:31

BornToRun, I don't know how things are run there but isn't there someone (a neighbor or friend) that can drive for you? I would be afraid you are putting yourself in more peril of destroying the work done on your shoulder. Now you have a cold, surely that will add to your suffering.
I have no advise other than what you already know...that you should have your husband talk to the surgeon. Maybe if your surgeon states the instructions your husband will then get it.
Is the 16 year old able to drive? I feel really badly for you.

BornToRun Mon 15-Sep-08 17:54:02

Thanks everyone, can get by walking, it's just can't carry loads of shopping. I know I am probably putting myself at risk, been feeling pretty ropey so defences down, pick myself up and no more driving etc.

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