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to think people should not say no black at a funeral.

(164 Posts)
mshadowsisfab Sun 14-Sep-08 19:05:55

cos finding smart non balck clothes is a bloody nightmare.
I don't do smart, or wear skirts. dd has cp so what is the point when i will be covered in food and have to crawl arround the floor.

MarlaSinger Sun 14-Sep-08 19:06:48


MarlaSinger Sun 14-Sep-08 19:07:31

Sorry someone's death is such an inconvenience - stay at home?

I say this light-heartedly by the way...

Lauriefairycake Sun 14-Sep-08 19:07:45

all of the younger people's funerals I have been to have specified no black - it has never meant really smart though. Just normal brighter clothes.

TotalChaos Sun 14-Sep-08 19:08:53

YABU. As if it's what family really want... But I wouldn't buy smart stuff.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Sep-08 19:09:49


i have specified no black at my memorial services, all Scotsmen must come dressed as such (mmm, men in kilts), no teetotallers and no hateful anti-smokers (although i don't smoke).

pagwatch Sun 14-Sep-08 19:10:12

my DS has severe ASD but i have still dressed him in the manner that I think the family would regard as respectful.
the point surely is the wishes of the family.

Rubyrubyruby Sun 14-Sep-08 19:10:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaureenMLove Sun 14-Sep-08 19:11:28

I went to a funeral recently where that was the 'prefered' dress code, but it wasn't set in stone. Everyone has their own ideas or feeling on it. If you want to wear black, wear black.

Personally, when its my turn I shall insist that my friends don't wear black, just to hack them off one more time! grin

mshadowsisfab Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:04


so of course I will do what my dad wishes.
But I can moan privately on here.....

lulumama Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:19


for all the reasons pointed out

dress in a respectful manner and you ;ll be fine

if the funeral is for a child who had SN, i am sure their family will understand the limitations on clothes

Spink Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:22

hmm, I tend to think that no black might mean the funeral isn't meant to be formal, and so casual (as long at it is clean and in fairly good nick - otherwise seems disrespectful) would be ok.

ParCark Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:36

Message withdrawn

mshadowsisfab Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:39

do you think black trousers and a white top will be ok?

lulumama Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:56

x post! and that is why we need all the info in the OP!!

you are still BU reasonable thhough!±

MarlaSinger Sun 14-Sep-08 19:13:16

Very sorry you're having to attend a family funeral but yes if you do really want to wear black... then wear black.

mshadowsisfab Sun 14-Sep-08 19:14:27

well sorry
but most people don't go to funerals of complete strangers.

(childrens are the worst as black seems wrong then, no idea why)

Soapbox Sun 14-Sep-08 19:14:47

Do you not have a colourful top of any description? If so wear that with your black trousers.

Or wear a black suit with bright shoes, bag and scarf.

Or buy a bright purple hair dye!

lulumama Sun 14-Sep-08 19:16:30

no black is to make it more of a celebration of life..

mshadowsisfab Sun 14-Sep-08 19:17:14

lol my dad would have a heart attack if i died my hair purple.....bless him.
good idea I will wear the trousers with a bright top.

zippitippitoes Sun 14-Sep-08 19:19:30

i think if no black is specified then provided you feel comfortable and are not going to offend anyone with an inappropriate slogan on a slinky t shirt then it doesnt have to be smart/dressy

zippitippitoes Sun 14-Sep-08 19:20:05

and i think children just wear a tidy looking outfit

Peachy Sun 14-Sep-08 19:28:58

A friend had a funeral where e requested carnivalites attendng (many) wore costume

some objected and refused

bloody rude!

(your answer is embedded in that tale LOL)

unknownrebelbang Sun 14-Sep-08 19:31:46

YABU, sorry to hear you've a funeral to attend though.

The black trousers with a lighter/brighter top will be fine.

imananny Sun 14-Sep-08 20:11:24

black is respectful at funerals

though I did go to a little girls one a few years ago who died of cancer sad she wanted everyone to be happy at her funeral and not be sad or mope and mum asked us to wear pink (girls fav colour) and we all let off pink balloons as her spirit - was very sad but it was what mum and her dd wanted

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