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To think that my MIL is just a tad patronising?

(21 Posts)
steviesgirl Sun 14-Sep-08 18:03:06

Was over MIL with my dd about an hour ago, (she lives next door to us), and she said she was just about to get tea/dinner for the men, (her husband and the workforce), we have a farm and she said to me "You can stay longer if you want, but she, (meaning my dd), will want something to eat now, unless she has a bit of bread and butter". I had every intention of going before she mentioned tea for the men, to get my dd's tea, I never even wanted to stay, as I knew my little girl would be getting hungry.

As I was leaving MIL then piped up "She will probably need a nappy change now"! Is it me, or is my MIL forgetting who my dd's mother actually is! Surely I make the judgement as to when my dd is hungry or needs her nappy changing? hmm

cocolepew Sun 14-Sep-08 18:04:42

You live next door to your MIL?!? <<thud>>

FabioBigBangBlackHole Sun 14-Sep-08 18:06:27


Tell me, by 'next door' there is, like, a 2 mile lane between your properties, and woods, yes? please?

vjg13 Sun 14-Sep-08 18:06:58

Think she was just acting like a caring

cocolepew Sun 14-Sep-08 18:08:03

Fabio, maybe she meant the next county. Yes that sounds normal. <<faints again>>

nametaken Sun 14-Sep-08 18:09:17

Hmmmm very difficult to say who is the unreasonable one here.

Could you tell us what time you arrived at MIL and what time you fed and changed your dd? Only if you want to.

This is why I never go to my in-laws house grin

WingsofaAngel Sun 14-Sep-08 18:09:47

She is being Mother hen.
Have medal for living next door to your MIL.
Take what she says with a pinch of salt.

nametaken Sun 14-Sep-08 18:11:16

when you say she was about to cook for the men, do you mean, she was cooking food for your dp, but wanted you and your dd to go home and eat?

missblythe Sun 14-Sep-08 18:12:42

My MIL says such things all the time.

Eg. In, say, January, "Have you got a coat for DD", as we're already in the car on the way out for the day.

The internal dialogue goes along the lines of "Of course I have, what sort of person do you think I am? And I remebered it before we got into the car too."

Though in fact I just sing-say "Yee-ees" and grind my teeth.

It annoys the arse off me, but I think it actually is only because they are interferring old hags caring Grannys

moocowmrs Sun 14-Sep-08 18:19:01

We have a farm as well, it is quite normal in farming families to live next to the in laws !

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 18:22:19

maybe its a danger of being too close? my mil lives a few doors up from us and she is very condecending towards me i.e.
"you need a proper buggy"
"i was just to saying to dh that baby needs shoes"
to dd2 "oh here is your sunday dinner, get some goodness into you. <to me> i like her coming here for sunday lunch at least she gets some goodness" <as opposed to the crap i feed her you mean? hmm?>
"how often do you change her nappy. she looks sore, you must be leaving her too long. they need cream on you? do you have any? you should get some its cheap in wilkos"
"she should be walking by now. i was saying to so and so that im sure she would walk if you just got her some shoes. she agreed. there is a sale on at clarks you know"

and im sure there will be more to come. i just nod and smile and sometimes agree whilst swearing and muttering muderous thoughts under my breath grin

bless her she is a lovely woman with some very strange opinions.

bloomingfedup Sun 14-Sep-08 19:06:29

My MIL is the same.[angry} I usually say,"I don't know how I manage without you" and that shuts her cakehole up.grin

I CANNOT believe you live next door to her.shock

steviesgirl Sun 14-Sep-08 19:10:28

Yes, I do. She lives at the other end of my garden path in her bungalow. She even confessed to coming into my house when me and my husband were away once. When she was supposed to have the key for Emergencies only!! Her excuse was she was looking for some deck chairs. hmm

bloomingfedup Sun 14-Sep-08 19:12:47

shock I would be mega paronoid that she had her binoculars out and was spying on me.wink

naturalblonde Sun 14-Sep-08 19:19:15

My DM does that. Drives me crazy, but without having a massive fallout, not much I can do about it.

ethanchristopher Sun 14-Sep-08 19:19:48

i hate it when people assume they know more about your child than you

its like BUGGER OFF


and poor you for the housing arrangements

clam Sun 14-Sep-08 20:16:08

Give her a bit of rope. (to hang herself? grin). To be fair, she was probably only thinking aloud, as in "I've got to do such-and-such for the men, and what about the little one?" If you're on top of things, why would it be a problem? Make a joke of it....

Habbibu Sun 14-Sep-08 20:22:45

Reply with "Really? Do you think so? Oh, gosh. What do you think I should do?" and look very worried. She'll either take the hint, or call social services. <russian roulette emoticon>

Janni Sun 14-Sep-08 20:29:25

You're oversensitive because it's your first baby and you think she doubts your mothering abilities. A few years and a few kids down the line you will be kicking them out the door to your MILs so you can get some peace.

Don't burn your bridges when you've got free childcare on the doorstep.

MadisonsMum Wed 17-Sep-08 20:11:28

My MIL started that patronising nonsense way before DD was born. She spent 6 months trying to persuade us to change the name we had chosen until she found out that her friends daughter in Australia (she's VERY successful you know angry) had also chosen the same name.

Next she spent months talking absolute bo**ocks about the MMR jab and how DD shouldn't have it. She had read all the bad news stories but not the multiple retractions from the Doctor that caused the uproar.

Now she confines herself to pointing out how DD has behaved 'less than perfectly', even to complete strangers in restaurants. In fact DD is very easy to keep amused in restaurants, or any anywhere else, but MIL wants her to be a pretty little girl and she's a tomboy. Ho-hum.

I just cut her dead now when she starts blithering on, and even go so far as to leave the room if possible.

beanieb Wed 17-Sep-08 20:13:05

she sounds ok to me.

How come she lives next door? Did you buuy or rent near her?

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