"Hang me by the toilet and wipe your bum on me"

[StealthPolarBear]

AIBU to be irritated by being "spoken to" by inanimate objects. It's happening more and more. I went to the supermarket this afternoon and in the entrance a voucher was calling "Scan me and save £5". I quite often buy ingredients that tell me directly how to cook them "Roast me with a little oil and some garlic", "serve me with warm crusty bread", "do not turn me upside down"

Is the world going mad, or am I?

[foxinsocks]

do you actually hear the voices?

[BroccoliSpears]

Mumsnet: waste days of your life on me.

[Eddas]

i know exactly what you mean but until you'd pointed it out I didn't realise how mad it is maybe it's people like me they are talking too

[FabioBigBangBlackHole]

the escalator in tesco's talks to you

it says you're about to near the end of the escalator, watch it and hop off smartish (words to that effect)

prob v useful if you're blind - but you'd have a foot out to feel? WannaBe?

you may all be amused to learn I typed blind as 'bling' 3 times before I managed to hit 'd'

....useful if you're bling...

[CostaRicanCod]

ah i haet the aussie conditioner i haev
to use it i have to have some "good" music and a candle

its all subjective isint it

[FabioBigBangBlackHole]

try switching the candle and music for a shower hose and some water

you will look less mad much better

crumbs of wax in your hair and humming along to barry manilow is not a good look, lady

[StealthPolarBear]

I quite like the escalator message, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to think there's someone up there watching out for me
(Plus I live in a little village and don't get to go on them very often!)

[onepieceoflollipop]

heard in the "feminine hygiene" aisle - "pop me up your fanjo!"

[Twelvelegs]

Stop going to Asda, Aldi and Lidl (sp) never use so much text on products!!!

[StealthPolarBear]

It was tesco! Although I've seen it in most places.
After all if I steak was going to talk it wouldn't say "I go well with a full-bodied red" it would say moo, wouldn't it?

[StealthPolarBear]

But funny you should mention, I am planning to go to Aldi near us soon - if they don't do the patronising thing I will be very pleased

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

[onepieceoflollipop]

In our Aldi they are so short staffed that the staff barely have time to talk to you. (they do smile and say thanks etc, but they have to concentrate on scanning very very fast)

[memoo]

OMG do you all have mental health problems?

[ethanchristopher]

how would the escalator know that one person is coming to the end?

[GrimmaTheNome]

Polar, The world is mad. [the instructions on toothpicks prove that, even without them being personified.]

Douglas Adams would be turning in his grave. The only place your entree might make a serving suggestion is the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, not the supermarket.

[Twelvelegs]

I've never been to an Aldi as I've no idea where one is, and therefore I would not save money driving miles!!

[StealthPolarBear]

Bite my ripples

[StealthPolarBear]

Fabio - who are you??

[CostaRicanCod]

they do scan very fast at aldei dont htey

[emj23]

That is irritating. I found it vaguely annoying already, but now it's been pointed out I'm going to notice even more.

Bit random, but I'll ask anyway - Apparently, the amount staff were paid in Aldi used to be higher than other supermarkets because they had to memorize and key in all the prices. What happened after they started using scanners instead. Is it less well paid now?

[theSuburbanDryad]

On a similar note - I don't like the way my local takeaway anthropomorphises their product.

They are now advertising "Mr Southern Fried Chicken".

[ChupitosGalore]

surely southermn fried cock would be more succinct?

i get flustered in aldi with the superfast scanning. i imagine them all judging me for being slow and a seagull and a scum of the earth leech on society.